PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Arnie Ironz (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Big Bastard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Ironz's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Limp Bizkit - Gold Cobra. Ironz has a slight injury, which hopefully won't affect the fight too much. Big Bastard will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Ironz
vs
Bastard

188 cm
21
279 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

225 cm
27
280 lbs
15 - 8 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Very quick

BJJ Purple Belt
Decent boxing
Good gas tank

Steel Penn's Skin Shop *laundry 93%

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Arnie Ironz!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 - 8 - 0, fighting out of London, Big Bastard!
The judges for this bout are Donald Grub, William Gold and James Atkins.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Ironz drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Bastard misses with a series of wild punches.
Bastard misses with a two punch combination.
Bastard looks to land a left hand but Ironz moved out of range nicely.
Bastard throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Ironz stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and Ironz wants it to stay on the feet.
Ironz circles away from the clinch attempt.
Ironz keeps the fight on the outside.
Bastard is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Bastard shoots in for a takedown but Ironz shows good takedown defense.
Bastard closes the distance and clinches up with Ironz, looking for a takedown. Bastard pushes Ironz against the cage but Ironz circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Arnie Ironz has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Big Bastard.
Bastard throws a right and a left that both miss.
Bastard fails with a takedown attempt.
Bastard shoots for a double leg takedown but Ironz sprawls well. He's pushed Bastard's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bastard fails in his attempt to clinch.
Ironz throws a looping overhand right but Bastard ducks down to avoid it.
Ironz lands with a shot to the body.
Bastard tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Ironz manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Ironz thows a body kick. Bastard tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Bastard throws a body punch but Ironz moves out of range.
Ironz misses with a low kick.
Ironz is breathing heavily.
Bastard tries to score a power double leg takedown but Ironz sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Bastard somewhat.
A nice leg kick lands there from Ironz.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bastard looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Ironz is fending him off so far but Bastard persists. Nope, Ironz circles away and we're back to standing.
Nice takedown defense from Ironz. No joy for Bastard on that attempt.
Bastard shoots for a takedown but Ironz saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Ironz scores with a nice head shot.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Ironz dodges the punch combination from Bastard.
Ironz cracks the inside of Bastard's front leg.
Ironz lands a high kick!
Ironz keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Bastard shoots in for a takedown but Ironz shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Bastard is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Bastard pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Ironz throws a shot to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jab from Ironz.
Bastard takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Bastard uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Ironz.
Bastard fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Ironz checks it well.
Bastard tries to clinch up but Ironz circles away and keeps his distance.
Ironz misses with a looping left.
Bastard tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Arnie Ironz is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Ironz throws a nice inside leg kick.
The fight stays on the outside here - Bastard looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Ironz throws a nice inside leg kick.
Bastard fails to land the takedown.
A solid leg kick lands there for Bastard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard with a poor takedown
and Ironz counters with a thumping low kick.
Bastard tries to bum rush Ironz with a series of wild strikes but Ironz uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Nice defenses there by Bastard.
Ironz tries to clinch there but Bastard circles away.
A jab from Ironz finds it's way through Bastard's defenses.
Ironz avoids a lazy jab quite easily.

Bastard gets the takedown into side control.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Ironz is looking to regain half guard here but Bastard keeps moving and retains side control.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Bastard working the ground and pound but Ironz is defending the strikes.
Bastard creates a bit of distance and throws down some hard shots.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Arnie Ironz will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Bastard tries to close the distance and clinch up but Ironz swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Ironz blocks a jab.
Bastard checks a leg kick nicely.
Bastard shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Ironz sprawls well. Ironz wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Bastard gets slowly back to his feet.
Ironz wants to slow Bastard down by chopping away at his legs.
Bastard throws the left hand but Ironz avoids the punch easily.
Bastard fails with the takedown.
Bastard shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Ironz but Ironz pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Arnie Ironz has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Big Bastard.
Bastard misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Bastard tries for a takedown but Ironz sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ironz lets loose with a powerful body kick. Bastard will feel that in the morning.
Ironz throws a quick inside leg kick.
Big Bastard seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Ironz goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Bastard keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Ironz.
Bastard will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Ironz lands with a straight right. Bastard didn't see that one coming.
Ironz checks a low kick from Bastard.
Ironz keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Bastard throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Ironz.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bastard throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Bastard fails with a takedown attempt.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Ironz, right into the meat.
Ironz throws a hook but Bastard avoids it easily.
Bastard is trying hard to land a takedown here. Ironz sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Bastard throws a body kick that misses.
Bastard closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Ironz scores with a head kick.
No luck for Bastard with that takedown attempt.
A slapping leg kick lands for Ironz.
Bastard wants to clinch up but Ironz keeps it at a distance.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Bastard shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Ironz avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Bastard wants to control from the top but Ironz keeps moving.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Bastard throws a big elbow that misses.
Bastard postures up in Ironz's guard and throws a big left but Ironz blocks it.
Bastard throws a big elbow that misses.
Bastard has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Bastard landing some decent shots from guard.
Ironz might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Bastard tries to free his leg and advance position but Ironz is retaining full guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard trying to control but Ironz is working from the bottom.
Bastard throws a big elbow that misses.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Bastard accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Bastard trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Bastard lands a couple of digs.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Ironz working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Bastard.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Bastard throws a big right hand that misses.
Ironz keeping moving, preventing Bastard from controlling successfully.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Big Bastard showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Bastard tries to close the distance and clinch up but Ironz swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Ironz throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Bastard looks to land a combination but Ironz avoids it well.
Ironz misses with a body shot.
Bastard looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Ironz defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Bastard.
Ironz misses with a wild body shot.
Bastard shoots in for a double leg but Ironz sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Arnie Ironz has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Big Bastard.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Bastard fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Bastard throws a series of punches but Ironz moves out of range.

Ironz moves into the clinch successfully.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bastard has had enough of the clinch but Ironz keeps him there for the moment.
Ironz misses with a body punch.
Bastard is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables Ironz to keep the fight standing.
Ironz working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Ironz lands a hook that snaps the head of Bastard backwards.
Ironz misses with a body punch.
Bastard is trying to break the clinch but Ironz has him pressed against the cage.
Ironz working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Ironz lands with a right to the head.
Ironz goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Bastard fails to pull the fight into his guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ironz crunches a lovely knee into Bastard's ribcage.
Bastard is looking to break free of the clinch but Ironz has double underhooks.
Ironz looking to throw knees to the head but Bastard is blocking nicely.
Ironz has a couple of punches blocked by Bastard.
Bastard is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Ironz with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Ironz fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Ironz tries a body shot but Bastard blocks it.
Bastard wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Bastard blocking some punches.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Ironz.
Ironz swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Bastard wants a takedown.

Bastard breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Bastard has a takedown stuffed.
No joy there for Bastard, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
A head kick misses from Ironz.
Ironz stuffs the takedown.
Arnie Ironz is winning the standup battle so far.
Bastard throws a nice looking combination but Ironz bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Ironz tries to clinch up but Bastard circles away and keeps his distance.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ironz ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Bastard moves away.
Ironz keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Bastard blocks the body kick.
Big Bastard is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Ironz misses with a kick to the body.
Bastard looks to land a combination but Ironz avoids it well.
Ironz cracks Bastard with a right hand to the side of the head.
Bastard doesn't manage to clinch there - Ironz circles away.
Bastard tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Ironz swivels and escapes.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.

Bastard clinches up with Ironz and pushes him back against the cage.
Bastard is trying to break free.
Ironz scores with a hook to the body.

And that's the end of the fight!
Arnie Ironz showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Ironz has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 29:28
Judge William Gold scores the fight 28:29
Judge James Atkins scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Arnie Ironz!
A relieved looking Arnie Ironz thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.