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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Bubbles Ticklepants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Ticklepants comes to the cage accompanied by Liquor & Whores. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!
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| 174 cm
23
169 lbs
8 - 2 - 0 |
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168 cm
31
165 lbs
19 - 6 - 1 |
Good wrestling
World class MT
Cardio machine |
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Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the welterweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Bubbles Ticklepants!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
19 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Blasius, Paul Aken and Paulsen Ambrosius.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWeakhands throws a right and a left that Ticklepants avoids nicely.
McWeakhands blocks a leg kick.
Ticklepants pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Ticklepants throws a wild body kick that McWeakhands sees coming a mile off.
Ticklepants scores with a shot to the body.
McWeakhands misses with a left hand
and Ticklepants counters with a nice body kick.
Ticklepants tries to clinch up but McWeakhands circles away and keeps his distance.
Ticklepants chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before McWeakhands can pounce on him.
A nice leg kick lands there from Ticklepants.
McWeakhands with a jab.
McWeakhands cracks a nice hook into Ticklepants's ribs.
McWeakhands tries to work over Ticklepants's front leg with a kick but Ticklepants checks it.
A left lands for McWeakhands.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Ticklepants takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
The fight stays on the outside here - Ticklepants looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
McWeakhands throws a sloppy head kick and Ticklepants moves out of range easily.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Ticklepants.
McWeakhands takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Ticklepants looking to land some kicks to the body here.
McWeakhands avoids the head kick by Ticklepants.
McWeakhands throws a combination. Ticklepants tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Ticklepants ducks under a wild hook from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands looks to land a right hand but Ticklepants moved out of range.
McWeakhands avoids the head kick by Ticklepants.
McWeakhands ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Ticklepants moves away.
McWeakhands scores with a hook to the body. Ticklepants takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Ticklepants tries to clinch but McWeakhands moves out of range.
Ticklepants throws a head kick but McWeakhands moves out of range.
Ticklepants tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. McWeakhands manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Ticklepants keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
A good leg kick by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
McWeakhands thows a left - swing and a miss!
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from McWeakhands lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Ticklepants has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Ticklepants and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
McWeakhands lands a leg kick that knocks Ticklepants off balance momentarily.
Ticklepants throws a head kick but McWeakhands moves out of range.
Ticklepants looks to land a right hand but McWeakhands moved out of range.
Sloppy strikes from McWeakhands. Those never looked like landing.
Ticklepants clinches up against the cage.
Ticklepants tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Ticklepants blocks an uppercut.
McWeakhands avoiding damage as Ticklepants throws knees to the body.
Ticklepants trying to land knees to the body.
Ticklepants scores with a knee to the head.
McWeakhands misses with a shot to the kidneys.
McWeakhands lands with a left to the head.
McWeakhands on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Ticklepants tries to land a knee to the head but McWeakhands blocks with his arms.
McWeakhands lands a left hand that snaps the head of Ticklepants backwards.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for McWeakhands.
McWeakhands lands a hook to the side of the head.
A nice left hand lands by McWeakhands.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
McWeakhands tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Ticklepants throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Ticklepants works on McWeakhands's body with a couple of short punches.
A nice left hand lands by McWeakhands.
Ticklepants tries to work over McWeakhands's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
McWeakhands on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
McWeakhands tries to throw a body punch but Ticklepants avoids it by throwing McWeakhands back against the cage.
McWeakhands misses with a short punch on the inside.
Ticklepants is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. McWeakhands is defending well for now.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands tries to throw a body punch but Ticklepants avoids it by throwing McWeakhands back against the cage.
Ticklepants tries a knee to the head but McWeakhands blocks it.
Ticklepants lands an elbow inside that McWeakhands shrugs off.
McWeakhands breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
McWeakhands throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A lazy left from McWeakhands finds it's target.
McWeakhands throws the left hand but Ticklepants avoids the punch easily.
McWeakhands lands a nice looking kick to the body. Ticklepants takes a step back to recover.
Ticklepants closes the distance looking to clinch
and McWeakhands counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
McWeakhands misses with a kick to the body.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Ticklepants misses with a looping left.
McWeakhands fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Ticklepants manages to avoid it.
Ticklepants throws a half hearted mid kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Dumbass McWeakhands dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!
Ticklepants is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
McWeakhands keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
McWeakhands avoids the head kick by Ticklepants.
McWeakhands moves out of range as Ticklepants throws a body kick.
Ticklepants blocks a low kick nicely.
Ticklepants looks to score with a jab to the body but McWeakhands is just out of range.
McWeakhands connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Ticklepants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but McWeakhands manages to avoid it.
Ticklepants walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Ticklepants takes a swing at McWeakhands's ribcage but misses.
A jab from Ticklepants misses.
Ticklepants fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt McWeakhands.
Ticklepants is looking to wear down McWeakhands with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
McWeakhands connects with a body shot.
McWeakhands jabs Ticklepants to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Ticklepants tries to clinch there but McWeakhands circles away.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Ticklepants throws a head kick but McWeakhands moves out of range.
A swing and a miss from McWeakhands.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as McWeakhands checks a leg kick.
McWeakhands moves out of range as Ticklepants throws a body kick.
Ticklepants is looking to clinch.
Ticklepants connects with a high kick.
Ticklepants throws a body punch but McWeakhands moves out of range.
McWeakhands ducks under a wild hook from Ticklepants.
McWeakhands lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Ticklepants at a distance.
Ticklepants tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. McWeakhands manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
McWeakhands throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
Ticklepants drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Ticklepants lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Ticklepants tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Ticklepants blocks a jab.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ticklepants misses with a body kick.
Ticklepants takes a swing at McWeakhands's ribcage but misses.
McWeakhands misses with a wild body shot.
McWeakhands slips under a jab from Ticklepants.
Ticklepants has taken the fight to the clinch.
Ticklepants unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Ticklepants takes a shot to the head.
Ticklepants throws a knee to the head but misses.
Ticklepants tries a knee to the head but McWeakhands blocks it.
Ticklepants throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but McWeakhands blocks it with crossed arms.
Ticklepants missing with knees to the body.
Ticklepants misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands blocks the elbow strike.
McWeakhands blocks an elbow strike.
Ticklepants blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
McWeakhands lands an uppercut.
McWeakhands blocks an elbow strike.
Ticklepants with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Ticklepants with an attempt at a knee that misses.
A nice left hand lands by McWeakhands.
Ticklepants with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
McWeakhands tries to work over Ticklepants's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Ticklepants missing with knees to the body.
McWeakhands throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
McWeakhands misses with a shot to the kidneys.
McWeakhands lands a body punch in the clinch.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Ticklepants prevents a body shot from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Ticklepants throws an elbow but it misses.
Ticklepants tries to land a knee to the head but McWeakhands blocks with his arms.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ticklepants is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. McWeakhands is defending well for now.
McWeakhands digs a right hand into Ticklepants's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Ticklepants's gas tank.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
McWeakhands blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Ticklepants trying to land knees to the body.
Ticklepants with an attempt at a knee that misses.
McWeakhands lands a left hand that snaps the head of Ticklepants backwards.
McWeakhands misses with a hook from the clinch.
Ticklepants crunches a lovely knee into McWeakhands's ribcage.
Ticklepants misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from McWeakhands.
Ticklepants has a couple of punches blocked by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
McWeakhands tries a body shot but Ticklepants blocks it.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Ticklepants takes a shot to the head.
McWeakhands digs a right hand into Ticklepants's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Ticklepants's gas tank.
Ticklepants missing with knees to the body.
McWeakhands lands a left hand.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
A close second round but Dumbass McWeakhands will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's time! Ticklepants's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.
McWeakhands with a jab.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Ticklepants.
McWeakhands scores with a shot to the body.
Ticklepants misses with an attempted mid kick.
McWeakhands throws a hook but Ticklepants avoids it easily.
McWeakhands takes a kick to the side of the head.
Ticklepants tries to close the distance and clinch up but McWeakhands swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Ticklepants moves out of range of the strikes.
McWeakhands closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Ticklepants moves out of range of the strikes.
McWeakhands lands with a shot to the body.
Ticklepants blocks a jab.
Ticklepants stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from McWeakhands.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Ticklepants closes the distance and clinches.
Still in the clinch, McWeakhands scores with a nice short uppercut.
That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
McWeakhands slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Ticklepants is rocked!
McWeakhands pounces like a tiger and cracks Ticklepants with a vicious hook! Ticklepants is down but not out! McWeakhands follows up with more strikes forcing the ref to jump in and stop it!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:14 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punches). Dumbass McWeakhands!
Dumbass McWeakhands is the new welterweight champion!
A relieved looking Dumbass McWeakhands thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
100% |
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