PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Felix Flashlighter (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman comes to the cage accompanied by Unclefucker. Flashlighter is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Ocoai - La Main d'Electrique . Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Cartman
vs
Flashlighter

184 cm
28
179 lbs
21 - 8 - 1

181 cm
30
175 lbs
28 - 14 - 1

Good wrestling
Dangerous knees
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 21 - 8 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 28 - 14 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Felix Flashlighter!
The judges for this bout are , Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Flashlighter saw that one coming.
A punch lands to the side of Cartman 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Flashlighter lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Cartman lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Cartman checks a leg kick.
A head kick from Cartman lands but Flashlighter takes it in his stride.
Cartman misses with a looping left.
Flashlighter staying out of range there.
Cartman scores with a crisp jab that stopped Flashlighter in his tracks.
Cartman cracks the inside of Flashlighter's front leg.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Cartman moves out of range as Flashlighter strikes.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Cartman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Flashlighter.
Flashlighter checks a leg kick.
Cartman thows a left - swing and a miss!
A jab from Cartman misses.
Flashlighter pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Flashlighter tries to land a front kick but Cartman steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Flashlighter throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Flashlighter throws a jab but it's blocked by Cartman.
Flashlighter is looking to land body kicks.
Nice jab there from Cartman.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Flashlighter saw that one coming.

Flashlighter closes the distance and clinches.
Flashlighter misses with a hook from the clinch.
Flashlighter blocks an uppercut.
Flashlighter misses with a punch on the inside.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Cartman.
Cartman swings wildly with an uppercut but Flashlighter uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cartman lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Flashlighter lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Cartman tries to work over Flashlighter's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Flashlighter misses with some punches.
Flashlighter looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Flashlighter lands an elbow inside.
Flashlighter prevents a body shot from Cartman.
Flashlighter tries to break the clinch but Cartman is controlling the position.
Cartman takes an elbow to the temple.
Flashlighter throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Cartman blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Cartman with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
Flashlighter on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Flashlighter's efforts to push away.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Cartman.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Flashlighter just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cartman's brow.
Cartman lands with a short shot to the head.
Cartman misses with a body punch.
Cartman on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Flashlighter lands a left hand that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Flashlighter blocks an uppercut.
Flashlighter lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Cartman's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Cartman swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Flashlighter blocks a body shot from Cartman.
Flashlighter stalling.
Cartman throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Flashlighter looking to throw knees to the head but Cartman is blocking nicely.
Flashlighter lands a nice uppercut.
Flashlighter gets through Cartman's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Cartman tries a knee to the head but he's missed.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Cartman.
A short right from Cartman on the inside.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Cartman lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Cartman lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
A shot in the inside from Cartman.
Flashlighter is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Cartman is defending well for now.
Flashlighter lands with a short shot to the head.
Flashlighter stalling in the clinch.

Flashlighter breaks the clinch.

Flashlighter rushes Cartman and presses him up against the cage.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cartman.
Cartman tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Flashlighter misses with an elbow strike.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A head punch on the inside from Cartman fails to land.

Flashlighter breaks the clinch.
Cartman misses with a wild body shot.
Flashlighter throws a body kick that misses.
Flashlighter with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Cartman to score with a decent uppercut.
Cartman is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Flashlighter throws a hook but Cartman avoids it easily.
Cartman scores with a nice strike.
Flashlighter misses with a low kick.
Flashlighter ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Flashlighter scores with a jab to the head.
An inside leg kick lands from Flashlighter.
Flashlighter misses with a body kick.
Flashlighter goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Cartman tries a low kick but Flashlighter avoids it.
Flashlighter swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Flashlighter will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Cartman throws a leg kick which misses Flashlighter's front leg but catches the back leg as Flashlighter tries to avoid it.
Cartman lands a really nice looking cross but Flashlighter seems unphased.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Flashlighter steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Flashlighter throws an off balance right hand
letting Cartman counter with a right hand.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Flashlighter lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Cartman has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Cartman and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Cartman is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Cartman looks to score with a jab to the body but Flashlighter is just out of range.
Cartman walks forward, straight into a front kick from Flashlighter.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Eric Cartman will probably get the nod.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Cartman is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Eric Cartman is winning the standup battle so far.
Flashlighter ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cartman moves away.
Cartman falls off balance throwing a combination
and Flashlighter counters with a slapping leg kick.

Flashlighter instigates a clinch.
Cartman goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Flashlighter looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Cartman misses with some punches.
Eric Cartman has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Cartman tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Flashlighter lands a nice uppercut.
Cartman tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Flashlighter lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Cartman lands a good knee to the midsection. Flashlighter won't want to take too many of those.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A right handed body shot lands from Cartman.
Flashlighter lands with a left to the head.
Cartman throws a punch but it's blocked by Flashlighter.
Flashlighter lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Cartman lands with a short shot to the head.
Nice elbow from Cartman.
Flashlighter tries to stall but Cartman uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Flashlighter is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Flashlighter creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Cartman lands a nice shot to the body.
Flashlighter is breathing heavily.
Flashlighter can't find room to land a body shot as Cartman controls the action.
Cartman avoiding damage as Flashlighter throws knees to the body.
Flashlighter blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Cartman looking to throw knees to the head but Flashlighter is blocking nicely.
Flashlighter tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Cartman avoids it.
Flashlighter prevents a body shot from Cartman.
Cartman with a knee to the head.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Flashlighter wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Cartman throws a head punch that misses.
Flashlighter throws a knee to the head but misses.
Cartman lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Flashlighter utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
Cartman doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Cartman lands on the inside with an uppercut.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Flashlighter misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Cartman.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Flashlighter missing with knees to the body.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Cartman.
Cartman lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
Flashlighter takes a shot to the head.
Cartman lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Flashlighter backwards.
Flashlighter gets through Cartman's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Flashlighter lands a nice elbow.
Cartman lands with a right to the head.
Flashlighter tries to work over Cartman's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Flashlighter swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Cartman dodges an elbow strike from Flashlighter.
Cartman misses with a punch on the inside.
Flashlighter misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Cartman.
Flashlighter using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
Flashlighter avoiding damage as Cartman throws knees to the body.
A short body shot lands from Flashlighter as the two fighters clinch.
Flashlighter lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Cartman swings away with an uppercut that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses with a punch on the inside.
Flashlighter blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Flashlighter tries to throw a body punch but Cartman avoids it by throwing Flashlighter back against the cage.
Cartman struggles to land a body shot inside as Flashlighter controls his hands.
Flashlighter pressing his opponent against the cage.
Flashlighter blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Flashlighter misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Cartman.
Flashlighter looking to throw knees to the head but Cartman is blocking nicely.
Flashlighter lands a body punch.
Flashlighter tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Cartman's elbow.
Flashlighter lands with a light punch inside.

Flashlighter's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Flashlighter uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Cartman takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Flashlighter checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Cartman has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Cartman there as he acknowledges the shot.
Cartman scores with a leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman is looking to clinch.
Cartman keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Cartman lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Flashlighter throws a front kick aimed at Cartman's knee but Cartman avoids it well.
Cartman lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Flashlighter at a distance.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Flashlighter.

Cartman pushes Flashlighter up against the cage in a clinch.
Flashlighter lands an uppercut.
Flashlighter working hard to break the clinch.
Cartman on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
Cartman unloads a knee to the mid-section. Flashlighter lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
Cartman with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Cartman presses Flashlighter against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Flashlighter has a couple of punches blocked by Cartman.
Cartman misses with a hook to the ribs.
Cartman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Flashlighter's elbow.
Cartman can't find room to land a body shot as Flashlighter controls the action.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Felix Flashlighter will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Flashlighter lands a nice hook to Cartman's body. Cartman takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Cartman explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Flashlighter looks to land a body kick but Cartman moved away.
Nice body punch from Cartman.
Cartman misses the shot to the body.
The fighters circling - Cartman throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Cartman tries to close the distance and clinch up but Flashlighter swats him away and circles back towards the center.

Flashlighter moves into range and clinches up with Cartman.
Cartman has a couple of punches blocked by Flashlighter.

Flashlighter's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Cartman checks the leg kick.

Flashlighter fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Cartman, pushing him back against the cage.
Flashlighter has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Cartman has a couple of punches blocked by Flashlighter.
A short right from Flashlighter on the inside.
Cartman blocks an uppercut.
Cartman misses with a punch on the inside.
With the fighters up against the cage, Flashlighter throws an elbow but misses.
Cartman tries to work over Flashlighter's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Flashlighter lands a good knee to the midsection. Cartman won't want to take too many of those.
Flashlighter lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Flashlighter tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Cartman's elbow.
A right hook to the body lands for Flashlighter.
Cartman tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cartman misses with some punches.
A head punch on the inside from Flashlighter fails to land.
Flashlighter blocks an uppercut.
Flashlighter is trying to maintain a safe position but Cartman gets an underhook and turns Flashlighter into the cage.
Flashlighter scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Flashlighter creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Cartman's defenses.
A short uppercut from Flashlighter.
Cartman misses with a body punch.
Flashlighter lands a good knee to the midsection. Cartman won't want to take too many of those.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Flashlighter blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Flashlighter lands an elbow inside.

It looks like Eric Cartman has been cut.
Flashlighter takes a knee right on the jaw!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Flashlighter blocks an uppercut.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Flashlighter lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!

Cartman is rocked!
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Flashlighter lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Oh Cartman is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Flashlighter scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Flashlighter cracks Cartman with a nice body shot.
Cartman missing with knees to the body.
Flashlighter blocking some punches.
Cartman trying to land knees to the body.
Cartman seems to have got his legs back now.
Cartman missing with knees to the body.
Flashlighter tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Flashlighter lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
A head punch on the inside from Cartman fails to land.
Cartman blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cartman.
Cartman throws a punch but it's blocked by Flashlighter.
Flashlighter blocks a body shot from Cartman.
Cartman working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Cartman throws a punch but it's blocked by Flashlighter.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman tries to land a knee to the head but Flashlighter blocks with his arms.
Flashlighter blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Flashlighter lands an elbow just above Cartman 's eye.
Flashlighter tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Cartman's elbow.
Flashlighter makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Flashlighter lands with a light punch inside.
Flashlighter lands a left hand.
Flashlighter is working Cartman over against the cage.
Flashlighter lands a hook that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Cartman tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Cartman lands a nice shot to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cartman scores with a shoulder strike.
Cartman working aggressively here.
A short left from Flashlighter.
Flashlighter lands an uppercut.
Cartman tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Knees in the clinch landing for Flashlighter.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Cartman.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Flashlighter.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Flashlighter.
Flashlighter avoids a wild elbow strike from Cartman.
Flashlighter blocking some punches.
Cartman tries a body shot but Flashlighter blocks it.
Cartman misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Flashlighter tries to throw a body punch but Cartman avoids it by throwing Flashlighter back against the cage.
Cartman tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Cartman looking to throw knees to the head but Flashlighter is blocking nicely.
Flashlighter lands a hook to the side of the head.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Cartman blocks a body shot from Flashlighter.
Cartman misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Flashlighter tries a body shot but Cartman blocks it.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Nice body punch from Flashlighter - that landed with a thud.
Cartman throws a knee to the head but misses.
Flashlighter lands on the inside with an uppercut.

Flashlighter escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but Flashlighter sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Felix Flashlighter comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Flashlighter has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 29:28
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 28:29
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Felix Flashlighter!
Jumping up and down and very excited, Felix Flashlighter waved his t-shirt featuring PEGASUS FIGHT WEAR ( $ 7 and Laundering 90% )'s logo in front of the cameras.