PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Earl Sweatpants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Aaron Linekar (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Sweatpants comes to the cage accompanied by Earl - Earl Sweatshirt. Aaron Linekar will no doubt be trying to keep this one on the feet, where he has a distinct advantage.

Sweatpants
vs
Linekar

180 cm
25
160 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

180 cm
22
150 lbs
1 - 1 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter striker
Prefers standup

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Tends to cut

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Earl Sweatpants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Aaron Linekar!
The judges for this bout are Hirohito Nitta, Shirou Masuda and Taro Takaoka.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Linekar misses with a two punch combination.
Linekar looks really tired already! That doesn't bode well for a good, competitive fight!
Linekar doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Sweatpants counters with a three punch combo that has Linekar backing up. Linekar nods at Sweatpants to acknowledge the strikes.
Sweatpants scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.

It looks like Aaron Linekar has been cut.
Sweatpants connects with a combination that backs up Linekar into the cage. Sweatpants lands a flurry of punches that gets past Linekar's guard. Linekar is down and the referee has seen enough. It is all over! Sweatpants bursts into tears - this win obviously means a huge amount to him.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:20 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Earl Sweatpants!
A relieved looking Earl Sweatpants thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.