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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Turd Fergisson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Melvin Guillard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fergisson comes into the arena with Legion of Doom blaring out of the sound system. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!
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| 150 cm
28
162 lbs
8 - 2 - 0 |
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175 cm
25
160 lbs
4 - 4 - 0 |
Powerful takedowns
Basic striking
Very quick |
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BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Turd Fergisson!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
4 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Melvin Guillard!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, and Jack Bonds.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fergisson misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Guillard scores with a shot to the body.
Turd Fergisson seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Fergisson misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Guillard goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Fergisson shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Guillard as he jumps to the side.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Turd Fergisson. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Guillard keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Nice body punch from Guillard.
Fergisson is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Guillard thuds his right hand into Fergisson's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Guillard pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Fergisson back to the cage. Guillard follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Fergisson manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Guillard on his heels. He'll look to pass Guillard's guard now, I'm sure.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.
Fergisson postures up in Guillard's guard and throws a big left but Guillard blocks it.
Fergisson avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Fergisson might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Guillard looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if Guillard can do anything to dispel that myth.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Fergisson wants to control from the top but Guillard keeps moving.
Fergisson pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Guillard is keeping the position for now.
Guillard really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Fergisson. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
Fergisson throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Fergisson controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Fergisson throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Guillard works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Fergisson thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Guillard will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
Guillard keeping moving, preventing Fergisson from controlling successfully.
Fergisson trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Guillard wants to sweep here but Fergisson controlling him for the moment.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Guillard can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Fergisson controls the pace.
Fergisson drops back, looking for a kneebar! Guillard looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. Guillard looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from Guillard!
Fergisson is moving his hips around well on the bottom and has managed to get back to half guard.
Fergisson avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Guillard.
Fergisson keeps control of the position for the meantime.
Fergisson is refusing to be controlled, as Guillard sits in half guard.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Fergisson wants to control but Guillard is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Guillard wants to work for an arm triangle but Fergisson is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
Fergisson missing with punches from the bottom.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Guillard not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Fergisson regains full guard. Nicely done.
Guillard looking to sit in guard and control but Fergisson gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Fergisson is looking to work some ground and pound but Guillard has wrist control.
Fergisson avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Fergisson really is built like a bowling ball. I wonder if he'd roll if you pushed him down a hill...
Guillard controls Fergisson momentarily but Fergisson frees himself.
Fergisson decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Guillard, up you get!
Guillard is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Fergisson.
Fergisson shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Guillard pinned against the cage. Guillard gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Horrible takedown by Fergisson or perhaps it was just good defense by Guillard which made him look bad.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Guillard napping and manages to drive through into side control!
Fergisson wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Guillard, who protects the arm well.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Fergisson in side control, throwing shots but Guillard defends.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Fergisson has an Americana. Guillard didn't react quickly enough there and he's in big trouble now! He tries to squirm out but is forced to tap! Fergisson is delighted and gyrates in front of the ring girls. They seem to like the attention - it'll be interesting to see if Fergisson hooks up with any of them at the after show party.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:51 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Americana). Turd Fergisson!
After winning the bout, Turd Fergisson thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
49% |
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