PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Heavy Damage (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hanz Titties (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Damage's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, LMFAO Mash up. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Damage
vs
Titties

170 cm
27
159 lbs
16 - 8 - 0

180 cm
34
158 lbs
23 - 10 - 1

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

[CBK] LEGAL HIGHS « your org name? ↑ 5x160Q

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 16 - 8 - 0, fighting out of London, Heavy Damage!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 23 - 10 - 1, fighting out of Tokyo, Hanz Titties!
The judges for this bout are Yukihiro Yamamoto, Yasuomi Hirokawa and Taro Takaoka.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Titties ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Damage moves away.
Damage scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Damage scoring well with a low kick there.
Damage feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Titties's calf.
Titties has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Damage.
Damage takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
Titties dodges the punch combination from Damage.
Titties staying out of range there.
Damage pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
A lazy body kick from Titties
and Damage counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Titties throws out a powerful jab.
Damage changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Titties tries to avoid it but Damage manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Titties to the ground. Titties escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Titties punishes Damage's body with a nice straight punch.
Damage misses the jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Damage missing with a left hand there. Titties was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Titties scores with a sloppy right hand. Damage should have avoided that one.
Heavy Damage seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Damage throws a head kick that misses.
Damage connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Titties's hands.
Damage throws out a powerful jab.
Damage fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Titties avoids the head kick by Damage.
Damage fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Damage ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Damage misses with a looping right.

Titties gets a clinch.
Titties throws a knee to the head but misses.
Titties misses with a hook to the ribs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Titties lands a hook to the side of the head.
Titties prevents a body shot from Damage.
Damage working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Damage lands a body punch.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Titties throws a head punch that misses.
Damage pushes Titties back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Titties tries to work over Damage's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Damage.
Titties pressing his opponent against the cage.
Titties tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Damage's elbow.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Titties doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
A short body shot lands from Damage as the two fighters clinch.
Titties throws a head punch that misses.
Titties blocks an uppercut.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Titties.
Damage misses with a hook from the clinch.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Titties.
Titties swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Titties blocks a body shot from Damage.
Damage throws a head punch that misses.
Titties gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Titties misses with a knee to the head.
Damage pushes Titties back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Damage working hard to break the clinch.
Titties swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Titties throws a head punch that misses.
Damage wants to break the clinch but can't.
Damage lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Titties working some nice short punches in the clinch.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Titties is working Damage over against the cage.
Damage tries to throw a body punch but Titties avoids it by throwing Damage back against the cage.
Titties stalls.
Damage avoiding damage as Titties throws knees to the body.
Titties misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Damage.
Titties looking to slow down the pace here.
Titties blocks a couple of punches on the inside.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Titties stalling in the clinch but Damage improves position.
Titties is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Damage is defending well for now.
Damage drops down looking for an ankle pick but Titties pulls his leg out and moves away.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Heavy Damage. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Titties gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Damage. Titties shrugs it off though.
Titties thows a leg kick but Damage checks it
and Damage counters with a left to the body.
Damage scores with a nice right hand.

Titties drives through and clinches with Damage against the cage.
Titties manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Damage swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Damage blocks a body shot from Titties.

Damage breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Titties shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Damage but Damage pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Damage tried to score with a low kick but Titties checks it.
Titties walks into a jab.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Damage throws a lazy right hand but Titties sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Damage lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Damage lands a high kick!
Titties lands with a good body shot.
Titties scores with a head kick. Damage tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.

It looks like Heavy Damage has been cut.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Damage lands a right hook to the body.
Titties tries to clinch but Damage moves away
and Damage counters with an inside leg kick.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Damage, right into the meat.
Titties throws a leg kick but Damage sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Titties takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.

Excellent takedown into side control there by Titties.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Damage tries to bench press Titties off him but Titties keeps the position.
Damage manages to get back to half guard.
Damage is trying to maintain the position but Titties is very close to passing his half guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Titties lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Titties prevents Damage from improving his position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Damage gets back to full guard.
Titties must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.

Damage has his foot on Titties's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Titties works his way back into a safe position though.
Titties trying to control the position from guard on top but Damage is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Titties slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Damage has momentary wrist control but Titties slips an elbow through the middle.
Damage wants to sweep here but Titties controlling him for the moment.
Titties wants to stand but Damage has a closed guard, so he can't escape.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Damage can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Titties controls the pace.
Damage working a defensive guard here.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Titties accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Damage is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Titties throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Titties connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Damage's hands.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Damage moves out of range of the strikes.
Damage lands a nice shot to the body.
Titties takes a swing at Damage's ribcage but misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Hanz Titties will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Heavy Damage's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

A nice inside leg kick there by Damage. That's going to slow Titties down.
Titties throws a jab but it's blocked by Damage.
Damage looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Both fighters circling a little - Damage finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
Titties throws a jab when Damage was well out of range.
Damage throws a shot from downtown. Titties moves away and avoids it.
Damage lands with a nice body punch.
Titties just misses with a punch to the body.
Nice defenses there by Titties.
Titties will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Titties looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
The fighters circling - Titties throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Damage throws out a powerful jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Damage shoots in looking for a takedown but Titties manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Damage's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Titties lands a slapping body shot.
Damage fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Titties is out of range.
Damage throws a sloppy head kick
and Titties counters with a right hand to the body.
Titties throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Damage throws an off balance right hand
and Titties counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Titties keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Damage fakes the leg kick and cracks Titties in the body.
Titties shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Damage but Damage pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Titties throws out a leg kick but Damage moves out of range and Titties only half commits.
Titties checks the leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Damage listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Danga de danga de dang - Damage scores with a four punch combination!
Titties stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and Titties wants it to stay on the feet.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Damage checks a leg kick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Damage lands with a kick to the temple. Titties shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Damage misses with a low kick as Titties jumps back.
Titties doesn't manage to clinch there - Damage circles away.
Damage loads up on a big right hand but Titties slips the punch.
Titties moves away from the strike by Damage.
Damage throws a right hand that misses
and Titties counters with a stiff right hand.
Damage throws a head kick but Titties moves out of range.
Damage throws a head kick that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Titties throws a body punch but Damage moves out of range.
Titties cracks Damage with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Titties thows a left - swing and a miss!
A shot to the liver by Damage. Beautiful body shot.
Titties is looking to land body kicks.
Titties fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Damage has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.

Damage has taken the fight to the clinch.
Titties lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Damage.
Titties throws a knee to the head but misses.
Damage misses with a punch on the inside.
Damage tries to work over Titties's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Damage blocks an uppercut.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Titties is struggling to control the position.
Titties blocks a body shot from Damage.
Titties lands on the inside with an uppercut.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Titties stalling in the clinch but Damage improves position.
Titties taking a breather.
Damage tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Damage tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Titties blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Titties content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Titties lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Damage backwards.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Damage digs a right hand into Titties's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Titties's gas tank.
Titties is working Damage over against the cage.
Damage misses with the head strike.
Titties stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Damage misses with a punch on the inside.
Damage blocking some punches.
Titties has Damage pushed against the cage.
Damage tries to work over Titties's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Titties.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Damage misses with some punches.
Titties lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Damage backwards.
Titties is trying to maintain a safe position but Damage gets an underhook and turns Titties into the cage.
Damage lands with a right to the head.
Damage fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Titties blocks an uppercut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A shot in the inside from Damage.
Damage lands a left hand that snaps the head of Titties backwards.
Titties prevents a body shot from Damage.
Titties misses with a punch to the body.
Damage's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Damage lands a body shot.
Damage tries a body shot but Titties blocks it.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Damage misses with a body punch.

Damage manages to break the clinch.
Titties misses with a hook to the body
and Damage counters with a nice leg kick.
Damage tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Damage tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Titties throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Titties ducks right into an uppercut from Damage.
Titties stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Damage.
Titties takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Damage misses with a body shot.
Titties closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Damage throws a series of strikes that have Titties backpedaling.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Titties throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Titties is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Titties scores with a nice head shot.
Damage thows a leg kick but Titties checks it
and Titties counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Damage avoids the body shot from Titties.
Damage lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Titties's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Damage connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Titties throws a wild body kick that Damage sees coming a mile off.
Titties has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Titties pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Titties is breathing heavily.
Damage changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Titties throws a low kick, looking for Damage's leg but Damage calmly moves out of range.
Titties motions for Damage to come forward. Titties throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Titties swings for the body but Damage moves out of range.
Damage moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Damage lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Titties swings for the body but Damage moves out of range.
Damage throws a head kick that misses.
Damage misses with a hook. Titties ducked under it nicely.
Titties pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Damage lands with a thumping leg kick.
Damage moves out of range as Titties throws a body kick.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Damage throws a sloppy head kick and Titties moves out of range easily.
Titties just misses with a punch to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Heavy Damage will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Heavy Damage's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Titties takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Damage throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Titties displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Damage throws out the jab.
Damage avoids a punch combination nicely.
Titties takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Damage connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Titties uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Damage.
Damage looks to land a body kick but Titties moved away.
Titties throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Titties slips under a jab.
Titties is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Titties fails to land the takedown.
Titties takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Damage throws a looping overhand right but Titties ducks down to avoid it.
Damage will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Heavy Damage is winning the standup battle so far.
Titties moves out of range of the strikes.
A bone on bone clash there as Damage blocks the leg kick.
Damage shoots for a takedown but Titties saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Damage scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
Damage fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Nice body kick from Damage.
Titties misses with a series of wild punches.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Titties.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Titties.

Titties darts in and clinches Damage up against the cage.
Titties looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Titties throws a head punch that misses.
Damage can't find room to land a body shot as Titties controls the action.
Damage tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Titties's elbow.
Titties lands a body shot.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Titties cracks Damage with a nice body shot.
Titties scores with a nice hook to the head.
Damage is working Titties over against the cage.
Titties tries to work over Damage's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Damage blocks a body shot from Titties.
Titties stalls.
Titties misses with a punch on the inside.
Titties has Damage pressed against the cage, preventing Damage from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Titties wants to stall.
Titties scores with a shoulder strike.
Titties stalling against the cage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Damage doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Damage throws a head punch that misses.
Titties has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
A hook to the body from Titties.
Damage misses with a shot to the kidneys.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.

Damage pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Titties takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Damage moves out of range of the leg kick from Titties.
Titties waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Damage.
Damage connects with a single shot there.
Titties has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Damage.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Titties uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Damage.
Damage tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Damage throws a hook but Titties blocks it.
Titties doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Damage counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Damage throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Damage scores with a decent looking hook.
Titties ducks under a wild hook from Damage.
Damage misses with a hook. Titties ducked under it nicely.
Damage explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Titties tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Damage manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Damage misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Damage misses with an uppercut.
Titties stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Damage.
Damage misses with a double jab
and Titties counters with a big head kick but Damage shrugs it off.
Titties blocks a jab.
Titties moves out of range of the strikes.
Damage throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Damage on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Good leg kick by Damage there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Damage fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Damage slips a straight right by Titties.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Damage keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Titties has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Damage.
Damage swings away with a body shot that misses
and Titties counters with an outside leg kick.
Titties scores with a leg kick.
Damage stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Titties avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Damage scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Good leg kick by Titties there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.

Titties moves into the clinch.
Damage lands a shoulder strike.
Hanz Titties seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Titties struggles to land a body shot inside as Damage controls his hands.
Titties tries to stall but Damage uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Titties seems frustrated at his inability to get double underhooks.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Titties tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Damage's elbow.
Titties prevents a body shot from Damage.
Titties throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Damages head.

Titties is fighting off a takedown attempt but Damage is just too persistent for him and manages to trip Titties to the mat. Titties regains guard as soon as the fighters hit the mat.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Damage trying to control the position from guard on top but Titties is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Damage passes Titties's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Damage is pressing down on Titties's thigh, looking to free his foot. Titties is holding on for now.
Damage is just content to waste time from the top position. Titties takes advantage of the situation and regains full guard.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Titties working a defensive guard here.
Damage wants to control from the top but Titties keeps moving.

And that's the end of the fight!
Heavy Damage showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Damage has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.

Judge Yukihiro Yamamoto scores the fight for Hanz Titties!
Judge Yasuomi Hirokawa scores the fight for Heavy Damage!
Judge Taro Takaoka scores the fight for Heavy Damage!

Heavy Damage wins by split decision!
Post fight, Heavy Damage stared into the camera and said 'I can not believe it is over already. I can do another 3 rounds! *shows some Ali footwork*'.