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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Tony Soprano (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and John Zoidberg (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Soprano comes to the cage accompanied by Got Yourself a Gun . There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.
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| 188 cm
32
215 lbs
25 - 9 - 1 |
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190 cm
33
222 lbs
30 - 16 - 0 |
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
25 - 9 - 1, fighting out of Hilo, Tony Soprano!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
30 - 16 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, John Zoidberg!
The judges for this bout are Paul Gruel, Roger Salmon and Jeff Smith.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Soprano moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
It looks like John Zoidberg has been cut.
A slow jab from Soprano misses its intended target.
Soprano throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Soprano misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Soprano. That did some damage!
Zoidberg tries to work over Soprano's front leg with a kick but Soprano checks it.
Soprano looks to score with a jab to the body but Zoidberg is just out of range.
Zoidberg on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Zoidberg blocks the body kick.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Soprano.
Zoidberg fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Soprano.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Zoidberg throws a body kick that misses.
Soprano avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Soprano moves out of range of the body kick from Zoidberg.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Soprano lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Zoidberg has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Zoidberg and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Soprano throws a nice outside leg kick.
Zoidberg misses with a body kick.
Zoidberg misses with a kick to the body
and Soprano counters with a big head kick but Zoidberg shrugs it off.
Soprano swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Soprano throws a sloppy head kick and Zoidberg moves out of range easily.
Zoidberg with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Zoidberg throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Zoidberg throws a head kick that misses
and Soprano connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
A head kick misses from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Soprano.
Soprano misses with a looping right.
Zoidberg scores with a leg kick.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Soprano chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Zoidberg can pounce on him.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg checks a low kick from Soprano.
Soprano blocks the body kick.
Zoidberg throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Soprano tries a head kick but it misses.
Soprano throws a nice inside leg kick.
Zoidberg moves out of range of the body kick.
Soprano misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Zoidberg.
Soprano throws a body punch but Zoidberg moves out of range.
Sloppy strikes from Soprano. Those never looked like landing.
Zoidberg throws a head kick that half lands.
The fight stays on the outside here - Zoidberg looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Soprano tries to land a leg kick but Zoidberg saw it coming and moves away.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Soprano throws a body kick, spinning off balance
and Zoidberg counters with an outside leg kick.
Soprano takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Zoidberg keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Soprano throws a leg kick but Zoidberg sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Zoidberg tries to move into range but Soprano moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
A telegraphed right hand from Soprano misses the target.
Zoidberg swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Zoidberg lands a head kick!
Soprano thumps Zoidberg with a low kick.
Soprano finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Zoidberg throws a body kick that misses.
Zoidberg tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Soprano counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Zoidberg looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Zoidberg throws a head kick that misses.
Tony Soprano seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Soprano is looking to score with low kicks.
Zoidberg throws a head kick but Soprano moves out of range.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Soprano connects with an inside leg kick.
Zoidberg takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Soprano delivers a nice body kick.
Soprano thuds a left hand into Zoidberg's body.
Zoidberg fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Soprano is out of range.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A big right from Soprano misses.
Soprano throws a shot from downtown. Zoidberg moves away and avoids it.
Zoidberg takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Tony Soprano dominated that round.
The cut man is working on John Zoidberg's cut.
That's time! Soprano's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.
Zoidberg looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Soprano misses with a body kick.
Zoidberg misses with a head kick.
Zoidberg has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Soprano.
Soprano checks the leg kick.
Zoidberg swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Soprano throws a hook but Zoidberg avoids it easily.
Zoidberg throws a head kick but Soprano moves out of range.
Soprano just misses with a punch to the body.
A big left from Soprano misses.
Zoidberg takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Soprano pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Zoidberg throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Soprano's corner calls for a 1-2. Soprano obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Soprano lands a nice looking kick to the body. Zoidberg takes a step back to recover.
We are yet to see a takedown attempt from Zoidberg in the fight. On paper you would think he is the more dominant ground fighter so let's see if these unusual tactics pay off.
Soprano bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Zoidberg's head.
Soprano moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Soprano on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Zoidberg scores with a kick to the body.
Zoidberg has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Soprano.
Zoidberg looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Tony Soprano is winning the standup battle so far.
Soprano stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Zoidberg.
Soprano cracks Zoidberg with a right hand to the side of the head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Soprano darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Zoidberg keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg tries to land a front kick but Soprano steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Zoidberg feints and then cracks Soprano's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Soprano down.
Soprano throws a leg kick but Zoidberg moved away.
Soprano throws an overhand right that lands on Zoidberg's shoulder, as Zoidberg tries to avoid the shot.
Zoidberg wants to land a leg kick but Soprano is out of range.
Zoidberg does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Soprano lands a really nice looking cross but Zoidberg seems unphased.
Zoidberg tries to land a front kick but Soprano steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Soprano lands a leg kick that knocks Zoidberg off balance momentarily.
Good leg kick by Zoidberg there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Soprano throws a quick inside leg kick.
Zoidberg moves out of range of the leg kick from Soprano.
A lazy body kick from Soprano
and Zoidberg counters with a good, hard body kick but Soprano shrugs it off.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Soprano avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Zoidberg avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Zoidberg moves out of range of the strikes.
Zoidberg throws a half hearted mid kick.
Zoidberg looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Soprano blocks a head kick by Zoidberg.
Zoidberg tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Zoidberg moves into the clinch.
Zoidberg lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Soprano tries to break free but Zoidberg pushes him back against the cage.
A short right from Soprano.
Zoidberg keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Soprano's efforts to push away.
Soprano scores with a nice hook to the head.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Zoidberg.
Soprano wants to break free but Zoidberg has control.
Zoidberg pushes off an throws an elbow but Soprano leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Zoidberg pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Soprano blocks an elbow strike.
Soprano wants to break free but Zoidberg has control.
Zoidberg trying to land knees to the body.
Soprano lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Zoidberg tries a knee to the head but Soprano blocks it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Soprano can't break the clinch.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Soprano blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Soprano misses with a short punch on the inside.
Soprano scores with a nice hook to the head.
Zoidberg tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Soprano avoids it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Tony Soprano dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on John Zoidberg's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.
Soprano buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Zoidberg fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Soprano is out of range.
Soprano throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Zoidberg thuds his shin into the meat of Soprano's side.
Soprano throws a leg kick but Zoidberg sees it coming and moves out of range.
Soprano ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Zoidberg moves away.
Zoidberg buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Soprano throws a push kick but Zoidberg slaps the foot to one side.
A clash of legs there as Zoidberg blocks the low kick.
Soprano lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Soprano cracks a nice hook into Zoidberg's ribs.
Soprano throws a leg kick but Zoidberg sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Zoidberg walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Soprano checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Zoidberg throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Soprano misses with an attempted mid kick.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Zoidberg.
Zoidberg moves away from the strike by Soprano.
Soprano fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Zoidberg doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Soprano tries a head kick but it misses.
Zoidberg moves in looking to clinch but Soprano pushes him off.
Zoidberg walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
A head kick misses from Zoidberg.
Soprano misses with a low kick.
Soprano fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg scores with a spinning back kick!
Soprano throws a leg kick but Zoidberg checks it.
Zoidberg looks for the body kick but Soprano saw that one coming.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Crunch! Soprano slams his shin into Zoidberg's torso.
Zoidberg moves out of range of the strikes.
Soprano throws a body punch but Zoidberg moves out of range.
Nice body punch from Soprano.
Zoidberg takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Zoidberg fakes the leg kick and cracks Soprano in the body.
Soprano throws a sloppy head kick and Zoidberg moves out of range easily.
Soprano throws a leg kick but Zoidberg checks it.
Zoidberg throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Soprano keeps Zoidberg at a distance using the push kick.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Soprano moves out of range of the body kick.
Soprano is looking to slow Zoidberg down with leg kicks.
Zoidberg attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Zoidberg tries to work over Soprano's front leg with a kick but Soprano checks it.
Soprano throws out a loose jab but Zoidberg uses good head movement to avoid it.
Zoidberg throws a leg kick
and Soprano counters with a left to the body.
Zoidberg throws a leg kick
and Soprano counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Soprano just misses with a punch to the body.
A big left from Soprano misses.
Soprano throws a combination. Zoidberg tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Zoidberg swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Zoidberg on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Zoidberg has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Soprano.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Zoidberg keeps Soprano at a distance using the push kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Soprano throws a quick inside leg kick.
Soprano fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Zoidberg is out of range.
Zoidberg scores with a leg kick.
Zoidberg looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Soprano misses with a jab, cross combination.
Soprano with a nice cross.
Soprano checks a low kick from Zoidberg.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Zoidberg slips under a jab.
Zoidberg takes one to the side of the head.
Zoidberg looks to throw a body kick
and Soprano counters with a lovely shot to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Tony Soprano clearly takes that round.
The cut man is working on John Zoidberg's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!
A cross from Soprano lands.
Soprano lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Soprano throws a shot from downtown. Zoidberg moves away and avoids it.
Zoidberg throws a nice outside leg kick.
Zoidberg shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Soprano takes a swing at Zoidberg's ribcage but misses.
Soprano blocks the body kick.
Soprano pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Zoidberg keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Zoidberg attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Soprano checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Zoidberg looks for the body kick but Soprano saw that one coming.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice body kick from Zoidberg.
Soprano lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Zoidberg tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Soprano counters with a solid body kick.
Soprano lands a nice looking body shot.
Soprano with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Good leg kick by Soprano there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Soprano tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Soprano pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Soprano loads up on a big right hand but Zoidberg slips the punch.
Zoidberg wants to clinch.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Soprano thows a body shot but no joy.
Zoidberg misses with a kick to the body.
Soprano looks for the body kick but Zoidberg saw that one coming.
Zoidberg goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Zoidberg throws a head kick but Soprano moves out of range.
Zoidberg's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Soprano scores with a spinning back kick!
Soprano throws a solid leg kick but Zoidberg takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Soprano.
Zoidberg throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Soprano lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Zoidberg pivots, looking for a leg kick but Soprano is out of range and Zoidberg settles back down.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
A head kick by Zoidberg misses
and Zoidberg takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Soprano throws a looping overhand right but Zoidberg ducks down to avoid it.
Zoidberg takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Soprano moves out of range of the body kick from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg throws a head kick but Soprano moves out of range.
Zoidberg is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
Soprano lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Zoidberg takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Soprano throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Zoidberg throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Soprano throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Soprano looks to land a body kick but Zoidberg moved away.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Zoidberg drops his hands momentarily and Soprano takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Zoidberg attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Soprano stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Soprano is able to avoid easily.
Zoidberg looks for the body kick but Soprano saw that one coming.
Soprano misses with a wild body shot.
Soprano is looking to land body kicks.
Soprano moves out of range as Zoidberg throws a body kick.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Zoidberg misses with a leg kick.
Soprano throws a sloppy head kick
and Zoidberg counters with a slapping leg kick.
Zoidberg throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Soprano.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Tony Soprano had his way with John Zoidberg in that round.
The cut man is working on John Zoidberg's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!
Zoidberg ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A nice leg kick lands there from Soprano.
Soprano throws a predictable looking body shot
and Zoidberg counters with a nice kick to the body.
Zoidberg keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Soprano works the jab nicely.
Zoidberg tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Soprano checks a low kick from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Zoidberg tries to clinch up but Soprano circles away and keeps his distance.
Soprano lands a jab.
A solid leg kick lands there for Zoidberg.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Zoidberg tries to clinch but Soprano moves out of range.
Zoidberg lands with a kick to the temple. Soprano shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Zoidberg tries a head kick but it misses.
Zoidberg throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Zoidberg avoids the body shot from Soprano.
Zoidberg moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Soprano ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Soprano steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Zoidberg. That one must have hurt.
Soprano checks a leg kick nicely.
Soprano lands the left hand.
Soprano misses with a head kick.
Zoidberg misses with a leg kick.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Soprano manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Soprano tried to score with a low kick but Zoidberg checks it.
Zoidberg throws a leg kick that is checked
letting Soprano counter with a right hand.
Soprano throws a front kick aimed at Zoidberg's knee but Zoidberg avoids it well.
Zoidberg turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Zoidberg tries to close the distance and clinch up but Soprano swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Nice body kick there by Zoidberg.
Soprano pivots, looking for a leg kick but Zoidberg is out of range and Soprano settles back down.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Soprano throws a body kick that misses.
Soprano with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Soprano throws a body kick that misses.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Soprano ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Soprano takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
John Zoidberg has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Soprano attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Zoidberg tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Soprano moves out of range of the body kick.
Soprano with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Soprano cracks Zoidberg with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Zoidberg throws a leg kick which misses Soprano's front leg but catches the back leg as Soprano tries to avoid it.
Zoidberg is looking to land body kicks.
Zoidberg throws a leg kick that misses.
Zoidberg takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Tony Soprano is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Soprano lands a nice shot that snaps Zoidberg's head back.
A lazy body kick from Zoidberg
letting Soprano counter with a right hand.
Zoidberg throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Zoidberg is wobbling all over the place through exhaustion. Will he make it to the final bell?
Zoidberg throws a leg kick
and Soprano counters with an outside leg kick.
Soprano takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Nice uppercut lands for Soprano. That snapped Zoidberg's head back.
Soprano stuns Zoidberg with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Zoidberg shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Soprano checks the leg kick.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Soprano blocks a head kick by Zoidberg.
Zoidberg takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Soprano lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
And that's the end of the fight!
Tony Soprano showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Soprano has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Paul Gruel scores the fight 50:45
Judge Roger Salmon scores the fight 50:45
Judge Jeff Smith scores the fight 50:45
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Tony Soprano!
After winning the bout, Tony Soprano thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
100% |
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