PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Steven Seagal (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Earl Sweatpants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Sweatpants has chosen Earl - Earl Sweatshirt as his entrance music. Earl Sweatpants will no doubt be trying to keep this one on the feet, where he has a distinct advantage.

Seagal
vs
Sweatpants

195 cm
25
205 lbs
8 - 6 - 0

180 cm
28
160 lbs
10 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
Counter striker
Experienced

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Knockout power

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Steven Seagal!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Earl Sweatpants!
The judges for this bout are Shirou Masuda, Kenichi Hosakawa and Sosuke Kotani.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Sweatpants misses with a hook.
No joy there for Sweatpants, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Earl Sweatpants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Sweatpants keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
A head kick misses from Sweatpants.

Sweatpants closes the distance and pushes Seagal back into the cage.
Seagal tries to score a body lock takedown but Sweatpants shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
Seagal has Sweatpants pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Sweatpants manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.

Sweatpants breaks from the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sweatpants finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Sweatpants misses with a right hand

and Seagal counters with a takedown into full mount! That could mean trouble for Sweatpants!
Sweatpants wants to control but Seagal is having none of it.
Sweatpants really trying hard to get back to half guard here.

Seagal swings around for an armbar but it's a sloppy attempt and Sweatpants is now in Seagal's guard. A big mistake from Seagal there, giving up the dominant position!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Sweatpants throws an elbow that misses. Seagal uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Sweatpants's guard. Nice move by Seagal!

Seagal is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.

Seagal drops back looking for a submission - "I'm sorry sir, but I'm gunna break your leg" says Seagal as he cranks on the unfortunate limb! Sweatpants screams and taps out before any major damage is done! Don't mess with Seagal! Nice submission victory there!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kneebar). Steven Seagal!
Steven Seagal is the new super heavyweight champion!