PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Vladimir Zhirinovsky (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Paul Atreides (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Zhirinovsky comes to the cage accompanied by Zhirinovsky and Serega - Murka. Atreides has chosen Hardcore Vibes as his entrance music. Paul Atreides has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Zhirinovsky
vs
Atreides

180 cm
28
218 lbs
18 - 12 - 0

187 cm
37
217 lbs
21 - 12 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

ADCC Champion
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Fenrir Fightgear - Steel Penn

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 12 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 21 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Paul Atreides!
The judges for this bout are Patrick Alders, Paulsen Ambrosius and Aafke Stam.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Atreides closes this distance looking for a takedown but Zhirinovsky circles away.
Atreides is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Zhirinovsky connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Zhirinovsky comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Atreides takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.

It looks like Paul Atreides has been cut.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Atreides looking to score a takedown here. Zhirinovsky is defending well but Atreides drives through and ends up in Zhirinovsky's guard.
We must be close to a standup if these guys don't pick up the pace.
Atreides looking to pass the guard.
Zhirinovsky pulls Atreides in close to prevent any damage.
Atreides working some strikes from top position.

Atreides drops back, looking for a kneebar! Zhirinovsky looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. Zhirinovsky looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from Zhirinovsky!
Zhirinovsky is looking to take a break and control but Atreides is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Atreides tries to get back to half guard but can't.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Atreides seems a little lost for a moment, as Zhirinovsky dominates the positioning.
Atreides manages to get back to half guard.
Atreides works his way to full guard. Good work.

Atreides has his foot on Zhirinovsky's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Zhirinovsky works his way back into a safe position though.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Zhirinovsky's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Atreides keeping moving, preventing Zhirinovsky from controlling successfully.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Atreides keeping full guard, as Zhirinovsky tries to pass.

Atreides is looking for a triangle but Zhirinovsky pushes his legs off easily.

Atreides is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

Atreides is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Zhirinovsky defends well.

Atreides had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Zhirinovsky defends it easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky sitting in guard here, content to control.

The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Atreides has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Zhirinovsky can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Zhirinovsky avoids a guillotine attempt easily.

Atreides is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Zhirinovsky is aware though and is defending well.
Zhirinovsky works a leg free and moves into half guard.
Atreides wants to get back to full guard.
Zhirinovsky seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
Atreides moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Zhirinovsky postures up and lands a big shot to Atreides's brow.

Atreides working for a triangle but Zhirinovsky defends it easily.
Zhirinovsky sitting in guard, not really doing much.

Atreides looking for subs off his back but Zhirinovsky has passed one foot through into half guard.
Atreides is not content to let Zhirinovsky control the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.

Atreides looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Zhirinovsky trying to control from half guard but Atreides is working away.
Atreides regains full guard. Nicely done.
Zhirinovsky slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Zhirinovsky trying to control the position from guard on top but Atreides is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

Atreides looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Zhirinovsky advances to half guard.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Zhirinovsky is scoring with some nice ground and pound from the dominant position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Vladimir Zhirinovsky dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Paul Atreides's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Zhirinovsky fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Atreides avoids it really well and circles away.
Zhirinovsky throws out a loose jab but Atreides uses good head movement to avoid it.
Nice takedown defense from Zhirinovsky. No joy for Atreides on that attempt.
Atreides takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Atreides shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Zhirinovsky but Zhirinovsky pushes him off and we're back to square one.

Zhirinovsky tries to sprawl but Atreides drives through with a takedown into half guard.
Zhirinovsky is looking to improve his position.

Atreides is looking for a kimura. It's pretty deep but Zhirinovsky still has the half guard so he's probably OK. Oh, Zhirinovsky has exploded into a beautiful escape there and after a quick scramble, he's ended up in side control on top! Nice work!
Zhirinovsky trying to control the action but Atreides is working from the bottom.
Atreides prevents Zhirinovsky from moving into mount.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Atreides tries to bench press Zhirinovsky off him but Zhirinovsky keeps the position.
The referee tells the fighters to keep busy.
Atreides tries to buck Zhirinovsky off but Zhirinovsky is having none of it.
Atreides seems a little lost for a moment, as Zhirinovsky dominates the positioning.
Atreides tries to improve position but can't.
Atreides misses with a strike from the bottom.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Atreides struggling a bit here.
Zhirinovsky lands a nice forearm strike.
Atreides sneaks back into half guard.
Zhirinovsky controlling the action here.
Zhirinovsky prevents Atreides from improving his position.
Zhirinovsky is trying to control the action in half guard but Atreides is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky working Atreides over with strikes.
Zhirinovsky seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Atreides wants to control but Zhirinovsky is keeping busy.
Zhirinovsky lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.
Atreides is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Zhirinovsky scores with a couple of nice shots.
Zhirinovsky looks to score some points with some ground and pound.

Atreides is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Zhirinovsky pulls his head out easily.
Zhirinovsky is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Zhirinovsky scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Atreides is not content to let Zhirinovsky control the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Atreides is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

Atreides looking for submissions off his back.
Atreides taking some punishment here, with Zhirinovsky in his half guard.
Zhirinovsky not doing much here.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Zhirinovsky is taking a breather. Atreides says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.

Atreides looking for submissions off his back.
Zhirinovsky slows the pace down in half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky working the head and body with strikes.
Zhirinovsky working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
Zhirinovsky controlling the action here.

Atreides looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Atreides is trying to maintain the position but Zhirinovsky is very close to passing his half guard.
Zhirinovsky trying to control the pace.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Atreides is trying to get back to full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Vladimir Zhirinovsky dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Paul Atreides's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Atreides tries for a takedown but Zhirinovsky circles away easily
and Zhirinovsky counters with a straight punch to the midsection.

Zhirinovsky shoots in from a long way out. He's driving through with the takedown attempt and he eventually gets it, landing in Atreides's guard.
Zhirinovsky controls from within his opponent's guard.

Atreides had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Zhirinovsky defends it easily.
Zhirinovsky works a leg free and moves into half guard.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Zhirinovsky is keen to just control but Atreides is a slippery customer.
Zhirinovsky seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
Zhirinovsky scoring with strikes to the body and head.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Zhirinovsky lands a nice short elbow.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

Atreides actively working from the bottom here.
Atreides takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Zhirinovsky drops an elbow to the side of Atreides's head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Atreides is trying to stand up here but Zhirinovsky is controlling him well.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Zhirinovsky sitting and controlling from the half guard.
Zhirinovsky scoring with strikes to the body and head.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Zhirinovsky slows the pace down in half guard.
Zhirinovsky is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky working over Atreides with some ground and pound. Atreides looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
Still in half guard, Zhirinovsky seems content to control.

Atreides looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Zhirinovsky controlling the pace.
Zhirinovsky drops an elbow to the side of Atreides's head.

Atreides looking for submissions off his back.
Ground and pound from Zhirinovsky.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Zhirinovsky with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Atreides tries to kick Zhirinovsky off but Zhirinovsky keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.
Zhirinovsky performing his best blanket impression for a moment.

Atreides looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Zhirinovsky seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
Zhirinovsky winds up and cracks Atreides with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Atreides wants to improve his position but Zhirinovsky is controlling well.
Atreides trying to hold on to Zhirinovsky's head to control him but Zhirinovsky postures up.
Vladimir Zhirinovsky is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Still in half guard, Zhirinovsky seems content to control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Atreides is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Zhirinovsky pulls his head out easily.

Atreides actively working from the bottom here.
Zhirinovsky with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Paul Atreides has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
This has been an exciting period of action!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Vladimir Zhirinovsky has forced the referee to step in and bring the fight back to the feet.
Atreides misses with a two punch combination.

And that's the end of the fight!
Vladimir Zhirinovsky showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Zhirinovsky has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Patrick Alders scores the fight 30:27
Judge Paulsen Ambrosius scores the fight 30:27
Judge Aafke Stam scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
After winning the bout, Vladimir Zhirinovsky thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.