PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Farty McFart Pants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dan Slater (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). McFart Pants's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Kickstart My Heart- Motley Crue. The crowd giving both fighters a great reception on their way into the arena. That's good to see.

McFart Pants
vs
Slater

195 cm
20
205 lbs
2 - 2 - 0

189 cm
22
197 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter striker
Prefers ground

BJJ Brown Belt
Counter striker
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of New York, Farty McFart Pants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of New York, Dan Slater!
The judges for this bout are Anthony Taglia, John Kavanagh and Chad Campbell.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Slater uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from McFart Pants.
McFart Pants shoots in for a double leg but Slater sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Slater misses with a takedown

and McFart Pants counters with a nice double leg into guard.
McFart Pants tries to free his leg and advance position but Slater is retaining full guard.
McFart Pants knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Slater on the ground.
McFart Pants trying to control but Slater is working from the bottom.
Slater looking to hit a scissor sweep but McFart Pants is one step ahead there.
McFart Pants trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Slater working for a triangle but McFart Pants defends it easily.
Slater trying to control the position.

Slater looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Slater keeping full guard, as McFart Pants tries to pass.
McFart Pants showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
McFart Pants pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Slater is keeping the position for now.
Slater keeping moving, preventing McFart Pants from controlling successfully.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
McFart Pants trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Slater manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!
McFart Pants trying to control the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
McFart Pants striking off his back but it's not causing Slater any problems.
Slater preventing the sweep.

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.
Slater checks a low kick from McFart Pants.

McFart Pants shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in full mount! That's better than McFart Pants was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Slater wants to control but McFart Pants is having none of it.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Slater is squirming around, avoiding McFart Pants's attempts to control the action.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Farty McFart Pants dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Slater gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily

and McFart Pants counters with a takedown into full mount! That could mean trouble for Slater!
McFart Pants can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Slater is looking to escape.
Slater is trying desperately to improve position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slater is squirming around, avoiding McFart Pants's attempts to control the action.
Slater is wriggling around trying to escape.
Slater is breathing heavily.
McFart Pants controlling the position easily from mount.
McFart Pants throwing sloppy strikes here. Perhaps if he tightened up his striking from such a dominant position, he'd be able to finish easier.

McFart Pants working for a submission but Slater is keeping him at bay.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
McFart Pants cracks Slater with a nasty head shot there - the crowd let out an audible gasp there, as the noise reverberated around the arena.
Slater can't escape the position.
Slater is squirming around, avoiding McFart Pants's attempts to control the action.
McFart Pants sends his fist crashing into the mat - the crowd let out a collective ooooooh. Let's hope he's not broken it!
McFart Pants trying to control but Slater is having none of it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants wants to take his opponent's back but he's not managed it.
McFart Pants wants to control the pace but Slater is squirming around nicely.
Slater is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
McFart Pants looking to control but Slater is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.

McFart Pants is looking to secure an arm. He's managed it! He's pivoting for an armbar - that looks tight! But Slater has managed to get out of it and now he's in a dominant position. Nice work from Slater!

Slater postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! McFart Pants is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of Slater, into his guard.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
McFart Pants tries to free his leg and advance position but Slater is retaining full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Farty McFart Pants dominated that second round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

McFart Pants misses with a low kick.
Some bone on bone action there as McFart Pants checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Slater fails with the takedown
and McFart Pants counters with a nice body kick.
McFart Pants fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Slater checks it well.
Farty McFart Pants is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

McFart Pants gets a takedown into half guard.
McFart Pants prevents Slater from improving his position.
Slater takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McFart Pants trying to pass the guard but Slater defending well.
McFart Pants works his foot free and advances to mount.
Slater tries to improve his position but instead McFart Pants has taken his back!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Slater is defending well here and trying to improve his position.
You know, I was talking to some of our celebrities at ringside tonight and they were split right down the middle on who was going to win this fight.

McFart Pants is working really hard to secure the rear naked choke. Slater defends successfully for a significant amount of time. Both fighters are looking very determined.

McFart Pants is persistently looking for the submission but Slater is defending it well.
Dan Slater has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants controls the position.
Slater is trying to break free.
McFart Pants trying desperately to keep hold of the dominant position.

Slater is in a bad position with McFart Pants working for a choke. Slater manages to spin nicely into guard and the danger is over for the moment.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now McFart Pants is on top in guard.
McFart Pants has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.

Slater working for a triangle but McFart Pants defends it easily.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
McFart Pants looking to pass the guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Farty McFart Pants showed his dominance in that final round.
Well McFart Pants has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Anthony Taglia scores the fight 30:27
Judge John Kavanagh scores the fight 30:27
Judge Chad Campbell scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Farty McFart Pants!