PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Seppo Taalasmaa (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The fight MMA fans around the world have waited their entire lives for!

McWeakhands
vs
Taalasmaa

168 cm
36
166 lbs
32 - 13 - 1

170 cm
34
160 lbs
42 - 21 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Vandal Fight Boutique & Laundry

Perkele!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 32 - 13 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 42 - 21 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Seppo Taalasmaa!
The judges for this bout are , Don Winkell and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Taalasmaa throws a body punch but McWeakhands moves out of range.
Taalasmaa slips under a jab.
McWeakhands blocks a leg kick.
McWeakhands thows a body shot but no joy.
Taalasmaa scores with a jab to the body.
McWeakhands loads up on a big right hand but Taalasmaa slips the punch.
A clash of legs there as Taalasmaa blocks the low kick.
Taalasmaa throws a low kick, looking for McWeakhands's leg but McWeakhands calmly moves out of range.

Taalasmaa moves into the clinch successfully.
McWeakhands taking a breather.
McWeakhands doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Taalasmaa working aggressively here.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Taalasmaa.
Taalasmaa lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
McWeakhands misses with a body punch.
McWeakhands scores with a shoulder strike.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Taalasmaa changes levels and goes for a takedown here. McWeakhands fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Taalasmaa misses with an attempted mid kick.
Dumbass McWeakhands is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
McWeakhands keeps Taalasmaa at a distance using the push kick.
Taalasmaa shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with McWeakhands but McWeakhands pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Taalasmaa fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Dumbass McWeakhands has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Seppo Taalasmaa.
McWeakhands fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Taalasmaa is out of range.
McWeakhands keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Taalasmaa.
McWeakhands drops his hands momentarily and Taalasmaa takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Taalasmaa connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
McWeakhands misses with an uppercut.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Taalasmaa takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Taalasmaa fails to land the takedown.
Taalasmaa looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? McWeakhands is fending him off so far but Taalasmaa persists. Nope, McWeakhands circles away and we're back to standing.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Taalasmaa tries to clinch but McWeakhands moves out of range.
Taalasmaa moves in looking to clinch but McWeakhands pushes him off.
Taalasmaa shoots in for a takedown but McWeakhands shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Taalasmaa rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Taalasmaa takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
McWeakhands tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Taalasmaa was well out of range. Poor timing from McWeakhands.
Taalasmaa pivots, looking for a leg kick but McWeakhands is out of range and Taalasmaa settles back down.
McWeakhands moves out of range of the strikes.
Taalasmaa feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to McWeakhands's calf.
McWeakhands lands with a slapping head kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Taalasmaa misses the shot to the body.
McWeakhands does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
McWeakhands tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Taalasmaa paws at him with a jab and circles away.
McWeakhands stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and McWeakhands wants it to stay on the feet.
McWeakhands scores with a jab to the head.
McWeakhands is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Taalasmaa shoots in and drives through. McWeakhands sprawls well.
McWeakhands tries to grapple but his opponent circles

so Taalasmaa counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Taalasmaa preventing the sweep.
Taalasmaa with a nice head shot there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Taalasmaa missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
McWeakhands is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Taalasmaa trying to control but McWeakhands is working from the bottom.
Taalasmaa stopping the sweep attempt from McWeakhands.
Taalasmaa looking to pass the guard.
Taalasmaa loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Taalasmaa trying to control the position from guard on top but McWeakhands is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Taalasmaa postures up in McWeakhands's guard and throws a big left but McWeakhands blocks it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Dumbass McWeakhands will probably get the nod.
That's time! Back to the action!

Taalasmaa bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps McWeakhands's head backwards.
McWeakhands feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Taalasmaas jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
A big left from McWeakhands misses.
Taalasmaa takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
McWeakhands scores with a nice strike.
A jab lands there for Taalasmaa.
McWeakhands takes a swing at Taalasmaa's ribcage but misses.
Seppo Taalasmaa seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Taalasmaa fails with the takedown.
Taalasmaa shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts McWeakhands as he jumps to the side.
Taalasmaa scores with a hook.
Taalasmaa fails with a takedown attempt.
Dumbass McWeakhands has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Seppo Taalasmaa.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Taalasmaa.
Taalasmaa keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
McWeakhands tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
A looping hook to the body misses from McWeakhands. Taalasmaa does a little dance to reset his feet.
Taalasmaa ducks down and throws a hook to the body but McWeakhands moves away.
McWeakhands stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Taalasmaa.
Taalasmaa shoots for a double leg takedown but McWeakhands sprawls well. He's pushed Taalasmaa's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Taalasmaa works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
McWeakhands scores with a hook to the body. Taalasmaa takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
McWeakhands misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Taalasmaa.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Taalasmaa turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Taalasmaa throws a nice outside leg kick.
Taalasmaa throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Taalasmaa throws a sloppy body shot
and McWeakhands counters with a straight right hand.
Taalasmaa shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with McWeakhands but McWeakhands pushes him off and we're back to square one.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Taalasmaa throws a looping overhand right but McWeakhands ducks down to avoid it.
Dumbass McWeakhands is winning the standup battle so far.
Taalasmaa throws a wild body kick that McWeakhands sees coming a mile off.
McWeakhands throws a nice outside leg kick.

Taalasmaa gets a double leg takedown into McWeakhands's guard.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as McWeakhands holds on and takes a little breather.
McWeakhands wants to sweep here but Taalasmaa controlling him for the moment.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Taalasmaa trying to control but McWeakhands is working from the bottom.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
McWeakhands wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.
Taalasmaa postures up in McWeakhands's guard and throws a big left but McWeakhands blocks it.
Taalasmaa trying to control the position from guard on top but McWeakhands is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Taalasmaa is in close to McWeakhands's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Taalasmaa throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Taalasmaa stopping the sweep attempt from McWeakhands.
Taalasmaa postures up and lands a big shot to McWeakhands's brow.
Taalasmaa postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Taalasmaa looking to pass the guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Taalasmaa distracts McWeakhands with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
McWeakhands is controlling Taalasmaa's posture.
McWeakhands utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Seppo Taalasmaa will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Taalasmaa connects with a single shot there.
Taalasmaa connects with an inside leg kick.
Taalasmaa lands a slapping body shot.
McWeakhands cracks Taalasmaa with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.

Taalasmaa shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Taalasmaa showed some decent athleticism there.
McWeakhands is controlling Taalasmaa's position as best he can from this difficult position.
Taalasmaa throws a strike but McWeakhands avoids it easily and moves to full guard.
McWeakhands keeping moving, preventing Taalasmaa from controlling successfully.
Taalasmaa throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as McWeakhands works some decent striking defense from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Taalasmaa with a flurry of punches that miss.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as McWeakhands holds on and takes a little breather.
Taalasmaa trying to control but McWeakhands is working from the bottom.
Taalasmaa distracts McWeakhands with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
McWeakhands working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Taalasmaa.
Taalasmaa preventing the sweep.
Taalasmaa is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Taalasmaa stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. McWeakhands swivels though and keeps the full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Taalasmaa stopping the sweep attempt from McWeakhands.
Taalasmaa trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Taalasmaa accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Taalasmaa wants to control from the top but McWeakhands keeps moving.
Taalasmaa throws a big right hand that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Taalasmaa postures up.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Taalasmaa accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Taalasmaa forces his way into half guard.
Taalasmaa wants to take a breather but McWeakhands is having none of it.
McWeakhands keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
McWeakhands wants to control but Taalasmaa is keeping busy.
Taalasmaa thows a huge punch but McWeakhands dodges it nicely.
Taalasmaa lands strikes from half guard.
Taalasmaa seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but McWeakhands does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Taalasmaa lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands is trying to control but can't.
McWeakhands is looking for a sweep. Taalasmaa is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Taalasmaa has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Taalasmaa tries to pass the half guard into mount. McWeakhands knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
McWeakhands blocking the ground and pound attempt from Taalasmaa.
McWeakhands wants to improve his position but Taalasmaa is controlling well.
McWeakhands is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Taalasmaa scores with a couple of nice shots.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
McWeakhands gets back to full guard.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
McWeakhands lands a beautiful switch and he's in full mount! That could spell trouble for Taalasmaa!
Taalasmaa is squirming around, avoiding McWeakhands's attempts to control the action.

And that's the end of the fight!
Seppo Taalasmaa comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Taalasmaa has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 28:29
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 28:29
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Seppo Taalasmaa!