PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Chuck Fuck Tito (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jake The (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jake The has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Fuck Tito
vs
The

190 cm
35
221 lbs
23 - 12 - 1

191 cm
30
221 lbs
17 - 14 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 23 - 12 - 1, fighting out of Sydney, Chuck Fuck Tito!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 14 - 1, fighting out of Sydney, Jake The!
The judges for this bout are Donatello Bradman, Hugh Johnson and Steve Erwin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fuck Tito looking to land some kicks to the body here.
The moves away from the strike by Fuck Tito.
The pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
The takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Fuck Tito scores with a nice right hand.
The slips a jab from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito lands a jab.
Good work by Fuck Tito as he checks the leg kick.
The thows a leg kick but Fuck Tito checks it
and Fuck Tito counters with a stiff right hand.
The tries to clinch but Fuck Tito is having none of it.
The walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
The lands with a thumping leg kick.
Fuck Tito is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by The.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
The fails with the takedown.
The is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
The tries to land a leg kick but Fuck Tito saw it coming and moves away.
Fuck Tito lands with a shot to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Fuck Tito throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
The throws a head kick that misses.
A clash of legs there as Fuck Tito blocks the low kick.
Fuck Tito swats away the attempt to clinch by The.
A jab from Fuck Tito misses.
The motions for Fuck Tito to come forward. The throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
The throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Fuck Tito keeps the fight on the outside.
Fuck Tito shoots in looking for a takedown but The manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Fuck Tito's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Fuck Tito thows a body shot but no joy.
The moves out of range as Fuck Tito strikes.
The throws a chopping leg kick but Fuck Tito manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Decent striking displayed by Fuck Tito there.
Fuck Tito is looking to land body kicks.
The throws a leg kick
and Fuck Tito counters with a two punch combo.
The throws a solid leg kick but Fuck Tito takes the impact on his shin and smiles at The.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Fuck Tito throws out the jab.
Fuck Tito lands with a hook. The tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A solid body kick from The.
The tries a head kick but it misses.
The fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Fuck Tito checks it well.
Fuck Tito throws a big shot that misses.
The tries to clinch but Fuck Tito moves out of range.
Jab from Fuck Tito.
The with a lazy takedown attempt
enabling Fuck Tito to counter with a crisp jab.
The shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Fuck Tito pinned against the cage. Fuck Tito gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Chuck Fuck Tito has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Jake The.
Fuck Tito blocks a head kick by The.
Fuck Tito pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces The back to the cage. Fuck Tito follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
The throws a leg kick that is checked
and Fuck Tito counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
The tries a head kick but it misses.
Fuck Tito loads up on a big right hand but The slips the punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract The.
Fuck Tito lands a glancing blow to the side of The's head.
The swings away with a leg kick that misses.
The ducks right into an uppercut from Fuck Tito.
A nice leg kick lands there from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito ducks down and throws a hook to the body but The moves away.
Fuck Tito waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract The.
The lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
The lets loose with a powerful body kick. Fuck Tito will feel that in the morning.
Fuck Tito throws a combination. The tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fuck Tito wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
The connects with a good right hand that stumbles Fuck Tito. Fuck Tito circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Fuck Tito throws a lazy right hand but The sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
The tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Fuck Tito manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
The pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Fuck Tito takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Fuck Tito.
The throws a leg kick but Fuck Tito moved away.
Fuck Tito is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Fuck Tito checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Some bone on bone action there as Fuck Tito checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
The throws a shot to the body.
The keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Fuck Tito loads up on a big right hand but The slips the punch.
An inside leg kick from The misses.
Fuck Tito throws a right hand that misses
and The counters with an inside leg kick.
Fuck Tito throws a combination that misses
and The counters with a kick to the head that grazes his opponent. Fuck Tito is lucky that one didn't land flush.
Fuck Tito misses with an uppercut
and The counters with a low kick, right behind Fuck Tito 's knee.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from The. Fuck Tito shrugs it off though.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Fuck Tito throws a low kick but The avoids it.
The looks to land a left hand but Fuck Tito moved out of range nicely.
The throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
The with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Chuck Fuck Tito will probably get the nod.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Fuck Tito tests The's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Fuck Tito with a nice cross.
The shoots in but Fuck Tito avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Fuck Tito darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
The pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Fuck Tito uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from The.
Fuck Tito avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
The blocks a low kick nicely.
The throws a leg kick
and Fuck Tito counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
The wants to slow Fuck Tito down by chopping away at his legs.
The fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Fuck Tito manages to avoid it.
Fuck Tito moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
The throws a solid leg kick but Fuck Tito takes the impact on his shin and smiles at The.
The fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Fuck Tito avoids it really well and circles away.
The walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Fuck Tito checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fuck Tito misses with a two punch combination.
The tries to clinch there but Fuck Tito circles away.
The fakes the leg kick and cracks Fuck Tito in the body.
The fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Fuck Tito checks it well.
Fuck Tito cracks The with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Fuck Tito is looking to chop away at The's legs.
Fuck Tito stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from The.
The lands a jab to Fuck Tito's midsection.

The drives through and clinches with Fuck Tito against the cage.
Fuck Tito misses with a punch on the inside.
The takes a shot to the head.
The lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
The looking to throw knees to the head but Fuck Tito is blocking nicely.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
The unloads a knee to the mid-section. Fuck Tito lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
A right handed body shot lands from Fuck Tito.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito managing to block the knees to the body from The.
The prevents a body shot from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito managing to block the knees to the body from The.
Fuck Tito has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. The is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
The has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Fuck Tito working some nice short punches in the clinch.
The struggles to land a body shot inside as Fuck Tito controls his hands.
The trying to land knees to the body.
Fuck Tito is pressed up against the cage. The has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Fuck Tito down to the mat. Fuck Tito avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Chuck Fuck Tito has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Jake The.
Fuck Tito misses with a jab, cross combination.
The throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.

The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Fuck Tito tries to keep at a distance but The has taken the fight into the clinch.
The tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Fuck Tito.
The tries to land knees in the clinch but Fuck Tito avoids the damage to the body.
Fuck Tito avoiding damage as The throws knees to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Fuck Tito as The tries to tie him up.
Fuck Tito managing to block the knees to the body from The.
Fuck Tito managing to block the knees to the body from The.
The missing with knees to the body.
The prevents a takedown attempt there.
A nice right hand lands inside from Fuck Tito.
The misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Fuck Tito.
The tries to score a body lock takedown but Fuck Tito shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
The is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Fuck Tito is defending well for now.
Fuck Tito works on The's body with a couple of short punches.
The tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Fuck Tito avoids it.
A shot in the inside from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Fuck Tito avoiding damage.
Fuck Tito lands a shoulder strike.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

The escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
The throws a right and a left that Fuck Tito avoids nicely.
The fails with an attempt to clinch.
The shoots in for a double leg but Fuck Tito sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
A big left from Fuck Tito misses.
Jab by Fuck Tito.
The ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Fuck Tito misses with a wild body shot.
No luck for The with that takedown attempt.
Fuck Tito lands with a good body shot.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Fuck Tito blocks a head kick by The.
The tries to clinch but Fuck Tito moves out of range.
The throws a head kick that misses.
Fuck Tito scores with a nice head shot.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Chuck Fuck Tito will probably get the nod.
That's time! Fuck Tito's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Nice shot by Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito wants to slow The down by chopping away at his legs.
Fuck Tito is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by The.
The fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Fuck Tito on the side of the head.
The tries a low kick but Fuck Tito avoids it.
The throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Fuck Tito throws a sloppy head kick and The moves out of range easily.
The feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Fuck Tito's calf.
Chuck Fuck Tito is winning the standup battle so far.
Fuck Tito lands a lovely overhand right.
The connects with an inside leg kick.
The throws a body punch but Fuck Tito moves out of range.
The ducks under a wild hook from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
The lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.

The moves into the clinch.
Fuck Tito misses with the head strike.
Fuck Tito avoiding damage as The throws knees to the body.
Fuck Tito lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The working Fuck Tito over with knees to the body.
The is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but Fuck Tito is defending well.
The throws an elbow but it misses.
The tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Fuck Tito avoids it.
Fuck Tito lands a body shot in the clinch.
The takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
With the fighters up against the cage, The throws an elbow but misses.
The misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Fuck Tito.
The trying to land knees to the body.
Chuck Fuck Tito has scored more points in the clinch so far.
A knee to the head by The.
Fuck Tito softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
The letting Fuck Tito take a breather here.
The lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Fuck Tito backwards.
The looking to throw knees to the head but Fuck Tito is blocking nicely.
Fuck Tito fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Fuck Tito misses with a punch to the body.
Jake The has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Fuck Tito misses with a punch to the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fuck Tito lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Fuck Tito tries for a takedown but The manages to get underhooks.
The using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Fuck Tito.
The throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Fuck Tito blocks it with crossed arms.
Fuck Tito scores with a nice hook to the head.
A short left from Fuck Tito.
Fuck Tito lands a body shot in the clinch.

Fuck Tito has double underhooks and is working for a body lock takedown. He's got it. The fighters land in half guard but The regains guard immediately.
The utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
The is trying to control the position but Fuck Tito postures up.
Fuck Tito preventing the sweep.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fuck Tito throws a strike but The rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.
The stops Fuck Tito from standing up.
The throwing strikes but missing.
Fuck Tito is wriggling around but The manages to pass to half guard.
The missing with the ground and pound from half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The lands with a punch from half guard.

The is working for a kimura but Fuck Tito is defending it quite comfortably.
The throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Fuck Tito is trying to stand back up but The is controlling him

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Chuck Fuck Tito.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Fuck Tito, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donatello Bradman scores the fight 30:28
Judge Hugh Johnson scores the fight 30:28
Judge Steve Erwin scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Chuck Fuck Tito!
Chuck Fuck Tito took to the microphone after his victory and thanked his sponsors, Hell's Balls Recovery (160) for their support in the buildup to the fight.