PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Franz Kafka (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Anal Bead Party (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kafka comes to the cage accompanied by Haters Gonna Hate. Both these guys are coming into the fight with injuries so let's see if that has a bearing on the fight. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Kafka
vs
Bead Party

200 cm
33
265 lbs
25 - 14 - 0

190 cm
32
276 lbs
13 - 6 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Very quick

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 25 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Franz Kafka!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Anal Bead Party!
The judges for this bout are Bruno Hogan, Damien Edna and Winston Howard.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kafka misses with a low kick as Party jumps back.
Franz Kafka seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kafka is breathing heavily.
Kafka lands a front kick.
Kafka is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Kafka looks to throw the jab but Party is out of range.
Party needs to keep his hands up - Kafka had a free shot at his head there.
Kafka connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Party's hands.
Kafka throws a right and a left that Party avoids nicely.
Party moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kafka lands a glancing blow to the side of Party's head.
Kafka misses with a straight right.
A low kick from Kafka is predictable there
and Party counters with a thumping low kick.
Kafka gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Party makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Party moves out of range of the body kick from Kafka.
Kafka throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Kafka misses with a low kick.
Party keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Kafka.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kafka bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Kafka motions for Party to come forward. Kafka throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Kafka misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Party.
Kafka throws a head kick but Party moves out of range.
Kafka misses with a kick to the body.
Kafka lands a jab.
Kafka throws a lazy right hand but Party sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Party uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Kafka.
Kafka misses the shot to the body.
Party stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Kafka.
Kafka tries to land a leg kick but Party saw it coming and moves away.
Kafka misses with a hook
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Kafka misses the jab.
Kafka feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Partys jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kafka misses with a two punch combination.
A low kick from Kafka misses
and Party counters with a kick to the head that grazes his opponent. Kafka is lucky that one didn't land flush.
Kafka connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Party momentarily.
A leg kick checked by Party.
Kafka thows a left - swing and a miss!
Kafka swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Kafka misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Party.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Franz Kafka dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Anal Bead Party's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!

Kafka throws a lazy body kick
and Party counters with a nice leg kick.
Kafka throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Party counters with an inside leg kick.
Kafka gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Party counters with a leg kick.
Party walks into a jab.
The fight stays on the outside here - Kafka looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Kafka swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Kafka throws a right hand that misses
and Party counters with a low kick, right behind Kafka 's knee.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kafka looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Kafka with a hook.
A jab from Kafka does it's job there.
A shot to the body from Kafka misses
and Party counters with a slapping leg kick.
Kafka throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Kafka tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Party counters with an outside leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A lazy body kick from Kafka
and Party counters with a big head kick but Kafka shrugs it off.
Decent striking displayed by Kafka there.
Kafka misses with a right hand
and Party counters with a slapping leg kick.
A leg kick checked by Party.
A left lands for Kafka.
Kafka throws a sloppy head kick and Party moves out of range easily.
Franz Kafka is winning the standup battle so far.
Kafka rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kafka looks to throw the jab but Party is out of range.
Kafka throws a front kick aimed at Party's knee but Party avoids it well.
Kafka finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Kafka misses with a shot to the body
and Party makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Kafka misses with a low kick.
Kafka tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Kafka throws a chopping leg kick but Party manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Kafka ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Party moves away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kafka fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Party manages to avoid it.
Kafka fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Party manages to avoid it.
Kafka attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Kafka throws a right hand that misses
and Party counters with a low kick, right behind Kafka 's knee.
Kafka misses with a hook. Party ducked under it nicely.
Kafka tries to score with a low kick but Party moves his leg out of the way.
Kafka throws a low kick but Party avoids it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Franz Kafka dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Anal Bead Party's cut.
That's time! Kafka's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. Let's get this one finished - here comes the final round!

Kafka thows a body shot but no joy.
Kafka rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Party counters with a nice leg kick.
Kafka connects with an inside leg kick.
Kafka throws a low kick but Party avoids it.
Kafka throws a sloppy body shot
and Party counters with a nice leg kick.
Party tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Kafka lets loose with a powerful body kick. Party will feel that in the morning.
Nice shot by Kafka.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kafka takes a swing at Party's ribcage but misses.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Kafka comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Kafka throws a poor cross that misses
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Party keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Kafka lands with a good body shot.
Kafka throws a body kick that misses.
Kafka is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Kafka throws a body kick despite being completely out of range
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kafka throws a head kick that misses.
Kafka bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Party's head backwards.
Party slips under a jab from Kafka.
Good leg kick by Kafka there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Kafka sizes up Party with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
A left and a right from Kafka both land. Nice combination.
Kafka throws a sloppy head kick and Party moves out of range easily.
Anal Bead Party has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Party checks a leg kick.
Kafka cracks the inside of Party's front leg.
Kafka misses with a hook. Party ducked under it nicely.
Party uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Kafka.
Kafka scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
Kafka explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Party walks into a straight right hand from Kafka.
Kafka throws a lazy body kick
and Party counters with a thumping low kick.
Franz Kafka is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kafka scores with a jab to the head.
Party slips a straight right by Kafka.
Kafka fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Party.
Kafka misses with an uppercut
and Party makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Kafka rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Party counters with an outside leg kick.
Party ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Kafka lands a nice leg kick that just misses Party's sensitive parts.

And that's the end of the fight!
Franz Kafka showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Kafka has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Bruno Hogan scores the fight for Franz Kafka!
Judge Damien Edna scores the fight for Franz Kafka!
Judge Winston Howard scores the fight for Franz Kafka!

Franz Kafka wins by unanimous decision!
After the fight, Franz Kafka was humble in paying tribute to his opponent but made it clear he wants to go on to bigger and better things. It seemed to go down well with the crowd who cheered him loudly.