PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jeffrey Lebowski (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kalle Uzi (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lebowski's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, VHB - Freedom Fighter. Uzi comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Top dog feat. Chuck Norris kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Jeffrey Lebowski has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Lebowski
vs
Uzi

201 cm
30
280 lbs
17 - 9 - 0

203 cm
36
278 lbs
23 - 12 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Perkele!

CEC Nutrition Q160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Jeffrey Lebowski!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 23 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Kalle Uzi!
The judges for this bout are Ben Zyskovitsi, Tarja Halkonen and Johanna Lukiainen.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Uzi tries a head kick but it misses.
Lebowski throws a quick inside leg kick.
Jeffrey Lebowski seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Lebowski swings widly with a right hand
and Uzi counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Lebowski misses with a looping right.
Uzi has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Lebowski finds it's way round the side to connect with Uzi's head.

It looks like Kalle Uzi has been cut.
Lebowski throws a body punch but Uzi moves out of range.
Lebowski scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Uzi has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Lebowski finds it's way round the side to connect with Uzi's head.
Lebowski digs a good hook to Uzi's body.
Uzi displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Lebowski throws out the jab.
Uzi walks into a stiff left hand from Lebowski.
Lebowski scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Lebowski blocks a head kick by Uzi.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Uzi throws a right and a left that Lebowski avoids nicely.
Lebowski throws a poor cross that misses
and Uzi counters with a nice uppercut.

It looks like Jeffrey Lebowski has been cut.
Lebowski just misses with a punch to the body.
Lebowski throws a looping overhand right but Uzi ducks down to avoid it.
A big left from Uzi misses.
Uzi moves in looking to clinch but Lebowski pushes him off.
Uzi checks the leg kick nicely there.
Lebowski on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Uzi on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Uzi moves away from the strike by Lebowski.
Lebowski does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Uzi tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lebowski sizes up Uzi with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.

That has opened up Kalle Uzi's cut even more.
Lebowski throws a series of punches but Uzi moves out of range.
Uzi's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Lebowski connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Uzi scrambles back to his feet.
Uzi throws a head kick but Lebowski moves out of range.
Uzi takes one to the side of the head.
A slow jab from Lebowski misses its intended target.
Lebowski scoring well with a low kick there.
Lebowski lands a head kick!
Lebowski misses with a body shot.
Lebowski scores to the head and body with a nice combination!

The cut above Kalle Uzi's eye is starting to cause him problems now.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lebowski scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
A telegraphed right hand from Lebowski misses the target.
Lebowski throws a looping overhand right but Uzi ducks down to avoid it.
Uzi lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Uzi moves out of range as Lebowski throws a body kick.
A low kick from Lebowski misses
and Uzi counters with a flying knee. Nice.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Lebowski checks the leg kick nicely there.
Uzi uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Lebowski.
Uzi throws a series of punches but Lebowski avoids them all with ease.
Uzi tries a head kick but it misses.
Uzi moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Uzi lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Uzi.
Lebowski tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Uzi was well out of range. Poor timing from Lebowski.
Lebowski rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Uzi counters with a thumping low kick.
Lebowski is breathing heavily.
Uzi connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Uzi with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.

Uzi gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Uzi prevents a body shot from Lebowski.

Uzi pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Lebowski circles away from the clinch attempt.
Uzi's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Lebowski connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Uzi scrambles back to his feet.
Lebowski lands a slapping body shot.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Jeffrey Lebowski will probably get the nod.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Uzi wants to clinch up but Lebowski keeps it at a distance.
Some bone on bone action there as Uzi checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Lebowski throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Lebowski. Uzi shrugs it off though.
A telegraphed right hand from Lebowski misses the target.
Lebowski throws a right hand that Uzi ducks under and follows up with a left that Uzi also avoids with ease.
Uzi on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Lebowski connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Lebowski throws an overhand right that lands on Uzi's shoulder, as Uzi tries to avoid the shot.
Lebowski walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Uzi checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Lebowski missing with a left hand there. Uzi was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Uzi throws a sloppy head kick and Lebowski moves out of range easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Uzi slips under a jab from Lebowski.
Uzi throws a head kick but Lebowski moves out of range.
Lebowski looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Lebowski changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Lebowski moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Lebowski feints and then cracks Uzi's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Uzi down.
Uzi throws a head kick but Lebowski moves out of range.
Uzi throws a sloppy head kick and Lebowski moves out of range easily.
Lebowski connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Uzi's hands.
Lebowski thuds his right hand into Uzi's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
An inside leg kick lands from Lebowski.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lebowski tries to land a leg kick but Uzi saw it coming and moves away.
Lebowski dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Uzi. That did some damage!
Lebowski misses with an uppercut. Uzi saw that one coming.
Uzi wants to clinch up but Lebowski keeps it at a distance.
Lebowski lands a nice looking body kick.
Lebowski fails to land with a series of punches.
Lebowski looks to land a left hand but Uzi moved out of range nicely.
Lebowski throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A decent looking cross lands there for Lebowski.
Sloppy strikes from Lebowski. Those never looked like landing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A punch lands to the side of Uzi 's head but he takes it in his stride.

Kalle Uzi's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.
Uzi tries to move into range but Lebowski moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Lebowski scores with a body shot.
A decent looking cross lands there for Lebowski.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Lebowski.
Lebowski jabs at Uzi's body.
A right-left combo lands from Lebowski.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Kalle Uzi's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:46 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Jeffrey Lebowski!
A relieved looking Jeffrey Lebowski thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.