PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Turd Anderson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Vincent Lontrame (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lontrame comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Knife Party by Deftones kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Anderson
vs
Lontrame

180 cm
27
184 lbs
15 - 8 - 2

170 cm
33
180 lbs
27 - 25 - 2

Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

DJs Locker

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 8 - 2, fighting out of Helsinki, Turd Anderson!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 25 - 2, fighting out of Helsinki, Vincent Lontrame!
The judges for this bout are Arvi Lind, Roosa Järviläinen and Ben Zyskovitsi.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lontrame swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Anderson.

Anderson shoots in and gets a takedown into Lontrame's guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Anderson wants to pass the guard but Lontrame is keeping the position.
Lontrame keeping moving, preventing Anderson from controlling successfully.
Lontrame pulls Anderson in close to prevent any damage.
Anderson wants to control from the top but Lontrame keeps moving.
Lontrame trying to control the position.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Anderson fails with the takedown.
Anderson has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Tres Puntos FC in the buildup to the fight.
Anderson moves away from the strike by Lontrame.
Lontrame throws the left hand but Anderson avoids the punch easily.
Lontrame misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Anderson tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Lontrame defends well and Anderson ends up having to push Lontrame into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Lontrame trying to land knees to the body.
Lontrame trying to land knees to the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A battle for position here, against the cage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Anderson looking for a takedown.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Turd Anderson. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Lontrame throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Anderson blocks it with crossed arms.
Lontrame told us before the fight that he's been working on his elbows. An under utilised technique these days - let's see if it can sway the outcome of the fight.
Anderson blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
A nice left hand lands by Lontrame.
Anderson blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Lontrame using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Anderson has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Lontrame throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Anderson blocks it with crossed arms.
Lontrame tries to throw a body punch but Anderson avoids it by throwing Lontrame back against the cage.
A body shot lands from Lontrame.
Anderson tries to pull guard but Lontrame forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
Lontrame is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Anderson is defending well for now.
Anderson managing to block the knees to the body from Lontrame.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lontrame is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Anderson is defending well for now.
Lontrame lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.

Lontrame breaks from the clinch.
The fighters circling - Lontrame throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Lontrame is looking to land body kicks.

Anderson closes the distance and gets a trip takedown into side control. Lontrame quickly recovers to half guard.
Lontrame is doing well to control the position and prevent Anderson from advancing to side control.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Lontrame is looking for a sweep. Anderson is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Anderson is looking for a kimura here.
Lontrame tries to get to full guard but Anderson has control of the leg.

Anderson seems to be looking for submissions.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Anderson is working for a submission here. He's got hold of the far side arm and he's looking for a kimura. He's cranking on the arm and he's got it! Lontrame is tapping out! Ouch, that looked like it hurt!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:20 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Turd Anderson!
Turd Anderson seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.