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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Roddy Piper (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Homer Simpson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Piper comes to the cage accompanied by Real Men Wear Skirts. I can't wait for this one - let's get the fighter introductions out of the way and get this one started!
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| 170 cm
36
153 lbs
42 - 15 - 1 |
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170 cm
37
156 lbs
40 - 17 - 0 |
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the featherweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
42 - 15 - 1, fighting out of New York, Roddy Piper!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
40 - 17 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Homer Simpson !
The judges for this bout are Gregory Folan, Steve Smith and Alec Ball.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Piper throws a front kick aimed at Simpson 's knee but Simpson avoids it well.
Piper takes one on the button.
Piper seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
Piper lands a nice shot that snaps Simpson 's head back.
Piper goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Piper throws a lazy head kick
and Simpson counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Roddy Piper seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A head kick misses from Piper.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
We've been informed that Simpson has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
A bone on bone clash there as Simpson blocks the leg kick.
Piper slips under a jab from Simpson .
Piper scores with a takedown into Simpson 's guard.
Piper drops back looking for a leg! Simpson is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Simpson manages to kick Piper off! Piper jumps back into Simpson 's guard.
Simpson manages to land a sweep and now he's in mount on top!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Piper is wriggling around trying to escape.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Piper tries to hold on but Simpson postures up.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Piper is wriggling around trying to escape.
Simpson controlling his opponent.
Piper manages to regain half guard. Good work.
Piper wants to improve his position but Simpson is controlling well.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson tries to stand but his hand is stuck under Piper.
Simpson decides to stand and escape the position.
Piper tries a head kick but it misses.
Piper swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Piper misses with a kick to the body.
Simpson throws a jab when Piper was well out of range.
Simpson bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Piper feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Simpson 's calf.
Piper looks for the body kick but Simpson saw that one coming.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Piper throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Simpson lands with a thumping leg kick.
Simpson throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson lands with a cross.
Piper takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
Piper misses with a leg kick
and Simpson counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Piper staying out of range there.
A looping hook to the body misses from Simpson . Piper does a little dance to reset his feet.
Simpson ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Simpson throws a low kick but Piper avoids it.
Piper throws an overhand right that lands on Simpson 's shoulder, as Simpson tries to avoid the shot.
Piper looks to land a left hand but Simpson moved out of range nicely.
Simpson darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Piper tries a head kick but it misses.
Piper looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Simpson takes a swing at Piper's ribcage but misses.
Piper tries to bum rush Simpson with a series of wild strikes but Simpson uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Piper throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A jab from Piper misses.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A slow jab from Piper misses its intended target.
Good shot there by Simpson .
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Simpson throws a looping overhand right but Piper ducks down to avoid it.
Simpson motions for Piper to come forward. Simpson throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Piper throws a jab when Simpson was well out of range.
Piper looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Simpson throws an overhand right that lands on Piper's shoulder, as Piper tries to avoid the shot.
Simpson uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Piper.
Piper avoids the body shot from Simpson .
Piper dodges the punch combination from Simpson .
Simpson takes a swing at Piper's ribcage but misses.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Piper tried to score with a low kick but Simpson checks it.
Good leg kick by Simpson there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Homer Simpson is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Simpson misses with an uppercut. Piper saw that one coming.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
A close round but Homer Simpson will probably get the nod.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!
Piper uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Simpson .
Simpson loads up on a big right hand but Piper slips the punch.
Simpson wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Nice defenses there by Piper.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Simpson lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Piper lands a two punch combo.
Simpson throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Nice cross by Piper.
The fighters circling - Piper throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Simpson throws a looping overhand right but Piper ducks down to avoid it.
Simpson on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Piper takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Piper fails with a takedown attempt.
Piper throws a leg kick
and Piper takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Simpson thows a leg kick but Piper checks it
enabling Piper to counter with a crisp jab.
Decent striking displayed by Simpson there.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Piper feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Simpson s jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
A jab from Simpson finds it's way through Piper's defenses.
Simpson fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Piper manages to avoid it.
Simpson takes a swing at Piper's ribcage but misses.
Homer Simpson seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Piper moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Nice body punch from Piper.
Piper thumps Simpson with a low kick.
Piper lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Piper drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.
Simpson is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Simpson keeping full guard, as Piper tries to pass.
Simpson looking to hit a scissor sweep but Piper is one step ahead there.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson controlling Piper's posture.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Piper looking to pass the guard.
Simpson wants to sweep here but Piper controlling him for the moment.
Homer Simpson has forced the referee to step in and restart the fight on the feet.
Simpson throws a jab when Piper was well out of range.
Simpson throws a chopping leg kick but Piper manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Piper throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Simpson .
Simpson throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Piper sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Simpson walks forward, straight into a front kick from Piper.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Piper manages to avoid it.
Simpson scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
Piper misses with a right hand
and Simpson counters with a good low kick that Piper was not able to check.
Piper wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Piper lands a nice shot that snaps Simpson 's head back.
Simpson swings for the body but Piper moves out of range.
An inside leg kick from Piper misses.
Simpson ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Piper keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Piper misses with a leg kick.
Piper is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Simpson .
Decent striking displayed by Simpson there.
Simpson looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Simpson misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Piper.
Simpson tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Piper changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Simpson scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Crunch! Piper slams his shin into Simpson 's torso.
Piper scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Simpson throws a chopping leg kick but Piper manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Piper misses with the combination.
Piper misses with a few strikes there.
Simpson scores with a nice right hand.
Simpson throws a big shot that misses.
Simpson digs a good hook to Piper's body.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Nice defenses there by Piper.
Simpson jabs Piper to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Simpson throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Piper scores with a nice strike.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
A close second round but Homer Simpson will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.
Simpson throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
A lazy left from Piper finds it's target.
Piper throws a push kick but Simpson slaps the foot to one side.
Piper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Simpson .
Piper swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Piper misses with a wild combination.
Good work by Simpson as he checks the leg kick.
Piper swings widly with a right hand
and Simpson counters with a left to the body.
Simpson throws a jab but it's blocked by Piper.
Piper manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Simpson on his heels. He'll look to pass Simpson 's guard now, I'm sure.
Simpson controlling the position.
Piper sitting in guard here, content to control.
Simpson controlling the position.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Piper tries to free his leg and advance position but Simpson is retaining full guard.
Roddy Piper overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
OK we're going to have a standup here. Homer Simpson hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
Piper throws a right hand that Simpson ducks under and follows up with a left that Simpson also avoids with ease.
Piper shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Simpson uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Piper.
Piper takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Simpson fails to land with a series of punches.
Piper looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Simpson throws a front kick aimed at Piper's knee but Piper avoids it well.
Piper misses with a wild body shot.
Simpson ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Piper swinging wildly here.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
A low kick from Simpson is predictable there
and Piper counters with an inside leg kick.
Simpson dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Piper. That did some damage!
Simpson connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Piper's hands.
Simpson misses with a straight right.
The fighters circling - Piper throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Simpson tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Piper is able to avoid easily.
Simpson misses with a kick to the body.
Simpson misses with a low kick.
Nice defenses there by Piper.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Piper looks to land a body kick but Simpson moved away.
Simpson throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
A slow jab from Piper misses its intended target.
Piper is looking to chop away at Simpson 's legs.
Simpson misses with a straight left.
Simpson throws a lazy right hand but Piper sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piper avoids the body shot from Simpson .
Piper lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Simpson at a distance.
Simpson thuds a left hand into Piper's body.
Simpson steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Piper.
Simpson moves out of range of the body kick.
Simpson blocks a low kick nicely.
Simpson lands a nice looking body kick.
Piper steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Simpson .
Simpson throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Piper.
Piper with a nice cross.
Simpson comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Simpson throws a big shot that misses.
Piper fails to land with a series of punches.
Piper bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson moves out of range of the strikes.
Piper will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Simpson just misses with a punch to the body.
Piper attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Piper tries to land a body kick
and Simpson counters with a good, hard body kick but Piper shrugs it off.
Piper on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Simpson uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Piper.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Simpson dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Piper takes a jab right on the kisser.
Piper uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Simpson .
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Piper misses with a low kick.
Simpson looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Piper lands with a nice combination. Simpson backs away looking to recover.
Piper tries a head kick but it misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
A close third round but Homer Simpson just about did enough to take it.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.
Simpson misses with a wild body shot.
Piper throws a shot to the body.
Piper fails to land with a series of punches.
Piper avoids the body shot from Simpson .
Piper moves away from the strike by Simpson .
Simpson chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Simpson fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Piper.
Piper takes one to the side of the head.
Piper throws a push kick but Simpson slaps the foot to one side.
Simpson closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Piper throws a one two combo.
Piper scores with a kick to the midsection.
Simpson with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Piper ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Simpson moves away.
Piper lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Simpson circles away quickly and effectively.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson scores with a decent looking hook.
Simpson throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Piper fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Simpson checks it well.
Piper throws a head kick but Simpson moves out of range.
Piper is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Simpson catches Piper with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
A telegraphed right hand from Simpson misses the target.
A jab from Piper does it's job there.
Piper swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Simpson connects with a nice looking jab.
Simpson lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Piper scores with a hook to the body. Simpson takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Simpson throws a nice looking combination but Piper bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Simpson pivots, looking for a leg kick but Piper is out of range and Simpson settles back down.
That kick from Simpson tenderised Piper's leg. Piper is trying to keep his angry face on.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Simpson crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Piper - the referee stops the clock and Simpson gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Piper. Simpson manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Simpson connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
The fighters circling - Simpson throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
A thudding body kick lands there by Piper!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Piper misses with a two punch combination.
Simpson lands a nice shot to the body.
Simpson showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Piper.
Piper misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Simpson takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Simpson swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Simpson throws the left hand but Piper avoids the punch easily.
Piper throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piper looks to land a left hand but Simpson moved out of range nicely.
Simpson looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Simpson checks a leg kick nicely.
Simpson avoids the body shot from Piper.
A slow jab from Piper misses its intended target.
Piper throws a right and a left that both miss.
Piper tests Simpson 's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Simpson blocks a jab.
Simpson misses with a low kick.
Piper takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Piper misses with an uppercut.
Simpson misses with a hook.
Simpson misses with a hook. Piper ducked under it nicely.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Piper takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.
A chopping leg kick lands by Simpson .
Piper scores with a crisp jab that stopped Simpson in his tracks.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Piper.
Piper takes a swing at Simpson 's ribcage but misses.
A good leg kick by Piper.
Piper darts in looking for a takedown but Simpson gets double underhooks and turns Piper into the cage.
Piper is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Simpson gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
It's got to the stage where if one of these guys blows hard enough, the other might fall over.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Piper lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Simpson backwards.
Simpson escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson ducks under a wild hook from Piper.
Piper throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Piper throws a sloppy head kick and Simpson moves out of range easily.
Simpson misses the shot to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
A close fourth round but Homer Simpson will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's time! Piper's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!
Simpson slips under a jab.
Simpson swings for the body but Piper moves out of range.
Piper lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Piper looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Simpson throws a jab when Piper was well out of range.
Simpson lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Piper. Simpson shrugs it off though.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Piper.
Piper rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Simpson counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Simpson slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Nice jab there from Piper.
Simpson throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Simpson misses with a hook. Piper ducked under it nicely.
Piper throws a right hand that Simpson ducks under and follows up with a left that Simpson also avoids with ease.
Piper scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Roddy Piper has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Simpson has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Piper.
Simpson pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Piper tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Piper throws a sloppy head kick and Simpson moves out of range easily.
Piper throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Simpson .
Simpson scores with a nice strike.
A lazy left from Simpson finds it's target.
Simpson gets caught on his heels momentarily as he allows Piper to score an easy takedown into full guard.
Both of our modern day gladiators look out of it here - a gruelling 5 rounds of action taking it's toll on them, no doubt.
Simpson managing to control the position.
Piper pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Simpson is keeping the position for now.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Piper trying to control but Simpson is working from the bottom.
Simpson pulls Piper in close to prevent any damage.
Simpson wants to stand but Piper is controlling the position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
The ref stands the fighters back up, due to lack of action by Homer Simpson .
Piper tries for a takedown but Simpson sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Piper on the wrong end of a nice hook.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Simpson checks a leg kick.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
A decent looking cross lands there for Simpson .
Piper ducks under a wild hook from Simpson .
Piper misses with a straight right.
Simpson throws a nice outside leg kick.
Simpson lands a right hook to the body.
Piper takes one on the button.
Piper shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Nice defenses there by Piper.
Simpson smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Simpson scores with a jab. Piper acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Piper fails with the takedown.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Roddy Piper. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Left hook, right uppercut from Simpson .
A low kick from Piper is predictable there
and Simpson counters with a right hand to the body.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A head kick misses from Piper.
Simpson scores with a leg kick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Simpson connects with a single shot there.
Piper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Simpson .
Simpson fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Simpson throws a series of punches but Piper avoids them all with ease.
Piper takes a swing at Simpson 's ribcage but misses.
Piper throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Simpson sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Piper throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Simpson sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Piper throws a hook but Simpson blocks it.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson slips under a jab.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Piper throws a front kick aimed at Simpson 's knee but Simpson avoids it well.
And that's the end of the fight!
Homer Simpson comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Simpson winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Gregory Folan scores the fight 45:50
Judge Steve Smith scores the fight 45:50
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight 45:50
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Homer Simpson ! Homer Simpson retains his featherweight title!
A relieved looking Homer Simpson thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
100% |
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