PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Handsome Cpw (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cpw has chosen Steve McQueen as his entrance music. Dumbass McWeakhands has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

McWeakhands
vs
Cpw

168 cm
38
158 lbs
33 - 16 - 1

170 cm
33
146 lbs
35 - 18 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 33 - 16 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 35 - 18 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Handsome Cpw!
The judges for this bout are Sam Margolis, James Glass and Daniel Bishop.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWeakhands tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cpw was well out of range. Poor timing from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands swings and misses with a hook to the body.
McWeakhands connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
McWeakhands pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
McWeakhands misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cpw.
McWeakhands wants to slow Cpw down by chopping away at his legs.
McWeakhands swings for the body but Cpw moves out of range.
Cpw slips under a jab from McWeakhands.
Cpw looks to score with a jab to the body but McWeakhands is just out of range.
McWeakhands blocks a head kick by Cpw.
McWeakhands tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cpw was well out of range. Poor timing from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands throws a chopping leg kick but Cpw manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick
and Cpw counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Some bone on bone action there as Cpw checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
McWeakhands fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Cpw manages to avoid it.
McWeakhands fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Cpw is out of range.
Cpw scores with a leg kick.
McWeakhands takes a swing at Cpw's ribcage but misses.
Cpw takes one to the side of the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Cpw is out of range.
McWeakhands cracks the inside of Cpw's front leg.
McWeakhands checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Some bone on bone action there as Cpw checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
McWeakhands swings for the body but Cpw moves out of range.
Cpw fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Cpw tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but McWeakhands was well out of range. Poor timing from Cpw.
Cpw tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but McWeakhands was well out of range. Poor timing from Cpw.
McWeakhands uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Cpw.
McWeakhands pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
McWeakhands has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from McWeakhands there as he acknowledges the shot.
Cpw works McWeakhands's body with a nice hook.
McWeakhands uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Cpw.
McWeakhands lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
A shot to the liver by Cpw. Beautiful body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands wants to land a leg kick but Cpw is out of range.
McWeakhands swings for the body but Cpw moves out of range.
McWeakhands throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
McWeakhands throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
McWeakhands uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Cpw.
Cpw connects with a body shot that sends McWeakhands's belly button to the back.
Cpw scores with a hook to the body. McWeakhands takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
McWeakhands walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Cpw checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
McWeakhands takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Cpw lands with an overhand left.
Cpw blocks a leg kick.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Cpw just misses with a punch to the body.
Cpw misses the shot to the body.
Cpw scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. McWeakhands doesn't seem bothered though.
A low kick from McWeakhands is predictable there
and Cpw counters with a straight right hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands stuns Cpw with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Cpw ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
McWeakhands swings away with a leg kick that misses.
McWeakhands throws the kick towards the body but Cpw avoids it.
Cpw takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Cpw takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.
Some bone on bone action there as Cpw checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Cpw just misses with a punch to the body.
Cpw thows a body shot but no joy.
McWeakhands takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
McWeakhands tests Cpw's chin there with a solid looking shot.
McWeakhands with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
McWeakhands works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cpw ducks down and throws a hook to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands throws a quick inside leg kick.
McWeakhands misses the shot to the body.
Cpw fails with an attempt to clinch.
A looping hook to the body misses from Cpw. McWeakhands does a little dance to reset his feet.
McWeakhands fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Cpw is out of range.
Cpw misses with a jab, cross combination.
Cpw fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Cpw scores with a hook to the body. McWeakhands takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
McWeakhands tried to score with a low kick but Cpw checks it.

McWeakhands clinches up with Cpw and pushes him back against the cage.
Cpw blocks an uppercut.
Cpw misses with a punch to the body.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cpw tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cpw lands with a left to the head.
Cpw working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
McWeakhands tries a body shot but Cpw blocks it.
Cpw blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumbass McWeakhands dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Cpw misses the jab.
McWeakhands misses with a body kick.
McWeakhands fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Cpw has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
McWeakhands looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
McWeakhands misses with a wild combination.
Cpw scores with a nice strike.
Cpw throws out a loose jab but McWeakhands uses good head movement to avoid it.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Cpw.
Cpw steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from McWeakhands. That one must have hurt.
A good leg kick by Cpw.
Cpw connects with a jab.
Cpw walks into a left hand.
Cpw tries to clinch up but McWeakhands circles away and keeps his distance.
McWeakhands moves out of range of the body kick.
McWeakhands takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Dumbass McWeakhands is winning the standup battle so far.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands connects with an inside leg kick.
Cpw throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick.
McWeakhands slips a straight right by Cpw.
McWeakhands is looking to score with low kicks.
Cpw's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Cpw steps to the side to avoid the strikes from McWeakhands.
Cpw just misses with a punch to the body.
Cpw throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
McWeakhands checks a leg kick nicely.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick.
McWeakhands throws a low kick but it's checked well by Cpw.
Cpw scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
A head kick misses from McWeakhands.
Cpw misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands jabs at Cpw's body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cpw looks to score with a jab to the body but McWeakhands is just out of range.
McWeakhands misses with a body kick.
Cpw on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Cpw throws a low kick but McWeakhands moves out of range easily.
Cpw checks a leg kick.
Cpw blocks a leg kick.
Cpw cracks McWeakhands with an open hand slap.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A slapping leg kick lands for McWeakhands.
McWeakhands scores with a hook to the body. Cpw takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Cpw connects with a crisp jab.
Cpw is looking to chop away at McWeakhands's legs.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick but Cpw checks it.
A clash of legs there as Cpw blocks the low kick.
Cpw finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
McWeakhands tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cpw was well out of range. Poor timing from McWeakhands.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Cpw is out of range.
McWeakhands keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Cpw throws out a powerful jab.
Cpw lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
McWeakhands scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Nice body punch from Cpw.
Cpw pulls out of a head kick attempt.
McWeakhands walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Cpw checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
McWeakhands swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick.
McWeakhands throws a low kick but Cpw moves out of range easily.
McWeakhands looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Cpw takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Cpw takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cpw is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
McWeakhands pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cpw keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cpw swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Cpw tries to clinch up but McWeakhands circles away and keeps his distance.
Cpw takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
A head kick misses from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands throws a quick inside leg kick.
McWeakhands throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Cpw makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
McWeakhands tries to work over Cpw's front leg with a kick but Cpw checks it.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
McWeakhands thumps Cpw with a low kick.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick.
Cpw steps to the side to avoid the strikes from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands misses with a hook.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumbass McWeakhands dominated that second round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Cpw takes a swing at McWeakhands's ribcage but misses.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick
and Cpw counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Cpw lands a head shot.
A looping hook to the body misses from Cpw. McWeakhands does a little dance to reset his feet.
Cpw comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick.
McWeakhands throws out a leg kick but Cpw moves out of range and McWeakhands only half commits.
McWeakhands missing with a left hand there. Cpw was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
McWeakhands avoids the body shot from Cpw.
Cpw scores with a decent looking hook.
McWeakhands is looking to wear down Cpw with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Cpw steps to the side to avoid the strikes from McWeakhands.
Cpw tries to clinch but McWeakhands moves out of range.
Cpw moves out of range of the leg kick from McWeakhands.
Cpw avoids the body shot from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Cpw shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cpw with a jab.
McWeakhands lands with a right hand.
Cpw tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but McWeakhands was well out of range. Poor timing from Cpw.
McWeakhands throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
McWeakhands misses with a straight left.
An inside leg kick lands from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands thumps Cpw with a low kick.
The crowd cheers as Cpw lands an impressive looking overhand right. McWeakhands doesn't seem phased though.
McWeakhands will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
A chopping leg kick lands by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands punishes Cpw's body with a nice straight punch.
McWeakhands throws a low kick but Cpw moves out of range easily.
McWeakhands lands with a kick to the ribs.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick but Cpw moved away.
Dumbass McWeakhands is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands throws a sloppy head kick and Cpw moves out of range easily.
McWeakhands just misses with a punch to the body.
McWeakhands wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Cpw misses the shot to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
McWeakhands is looking to chop away at Cpw's legs.
McWeakhands misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
McWeakhands walks into a jab.

Cpw closes the distance and clinches.
Cpw misses with a hook from the clinch.
Cpw lands a left hand.
McWeakhands has a couple of punches blocked by Cpw.
Cpw prevents McWeakhands from breaking the clinch.
Cpw misses with a punch to the body.
McWeakhands throws a head punch that misses.
Cpw blocks a body shot from McWeakhands.
Cpw working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
McWeakhands working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A head punch blocked on the inside by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands trying to land knees to the body.
McWeakhands misses with the head strike.
McWeakhands throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Cpw blocks it with crossed arms.
McWeakhands lands an uppercut.
Cpw doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Cpw lands a left hand that snaps the head of McWeakhands backwards.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cpw.
McWeakhands misses with a body punch.
McWeakhands misses with a body punch.
McWeakhands tries to work over Cpw's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Cpw lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of McWeakhands backwards.
Handsome Cpw has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Cpw lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Cpw tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
McWeakhands misses with the head strike.
Cpw tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
McWeakhands misses with a punch to the body.
McWeakhands has Cpw pressed against the cage, preventing Cpw from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Cpw misses with a shot to the kidneys.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cpw tries a body shot but McWeakhands blocks it.
Cpw blocks an uppercut.
Still in the clinch, Cpw scores with a nice short uppercut.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!

McWeakhands breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
McWeakhands throws a head kick that misses.
McWeakhands throws a push kick but Cpw slaps the foot to one side.
McWeakhands attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick as Cpw jumps back.
Some bone on bone action there as McWeakhands checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
McWeakhands throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
McWeakhands ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cpw moves away.
Cpw fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but McWeakhands is out of range.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cpw moves away from the strike by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Cpw is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Cpw thuds his right hand into McWeakhands's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Handsome Cpw.
I think McWeakhands has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 29:28
Judge James Glass scores the fight 29:28
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dumbass McWeakhands!
Dumbass McWeakhands seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.