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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Roberto Klinkhammer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants's entrance music is Deathly Quiet. A fine choice. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!
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| 197 cm
27
222 lbs
14 - 6 - 0 |
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200 cm
29
210 lbs
13 - 7 - 0 |
Good wrestling
Great elbows
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Granite chin |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
14 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
13 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Roberto Klinkhammer!
The judges for this bout are William Gold, James Glass and Steven Brown.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Klinkhammer pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
PoopyPants has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Laoch Den in the buildup to the fight.
PoopyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Klinkhammer manages to avoid it.
Klinkhammer feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits PoopyPantss jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Klinkhammer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
The fighters circling - Klinkhammer throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Klinkhammer does a little dance to reset his feet.
Klinkhammer misses with a hook
and PoopyPants counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Klinkhammer throws a hook but PoopyPants avoids it easily.
PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
PoopyPants misses with a wild body shot.
The fighters circling - Klinkhammer throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
PoopyPants moves forwards but Klinkhammer connects with a nice, crisp jab.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Klinkhammer connects with a crisp jab.
BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Klinkhammer lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
PoopyPants scores with a decent looking hook.
Klinkhammer defends well against a solid takedown attempt from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Klinkhammer moves away.
Klinkhammer connects with a jab.
Klinkhammer lands with a right hand.
That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
PoopyPants catches Klinkhammer with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Klinkhammer might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
PoopyPants throws a hook to the side of Klinkhammer's head but Klinkhammer sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Klinkhammer on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Klinkhammer staying out of range there.
PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown but Klinkhammer shows good takedown defense.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut
enabling Klinkhammer to counter with a crisp jab.
Klinkhammer takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
PoopyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Klinkhammer manages to avoid it.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
PoopyPants keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Klinkhammer.
Klinkhammer scores with a hook to the body. PoopyPants takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Klinkhammer throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Klinkhammer scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
PoopyPants manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Klinkhammer on his heels. He'll look to pass Klinkhammer's guard now, I'm sure.
Klinkhammer keeping moving, preventing PoopyPants from controlling successfully.
Klinkhammer utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Klinkhammer has PoopyPants pulled in close to control his posture.
Klinkhammer is looking for a triangle but PoopyPants pushes his legs off easily.
PoopyPants wants to control from the top but Klinkhammer keeps moving.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
We're going to have a standup here because BitchFace PoopyPants wasn't active enough for the referee's liking.
PoopyPants wants to clinch.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Klinkhammer throws a hook to the side of PoopyPants's head but PoopyPants sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
PoopyPants is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Klinkhammer.
PoopyPants throws a good cross that connects.
Roberto Klinkhammer is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
PoopyPants takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Klinkhammer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Klinkhammer slips under a jab.
Klinkhammer misses with the combination.
PoopyPants fails to land the takedown.
Klinkhammer throws an uppercut from half a mile away. PoopyPants sees it coming and avoids it easily.
PoopyPants throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
PoopyPants misses the shot to the body.
Nice shot by PoopyPants.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
PoopyPants connects with a body shot.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Good exchange - Klinkhammer coming out on top.
PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Klinkhammer but Klinkhammer pushes him off and we're back to square one.
PoopyPants misses the shot to the body.
Nice body punch from Klinkhammer.
PoopyPants throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
PoopyPants moves out of range of the strikes.
A left lands for Klinkhammer.
Klinkhammer throws a good cross that connects.
PoopyPants is rocked!
Klinkhammer misses with a low kick.
PoopyPants dodges the punch combination from Klinkhammer.
Left hook, right uppercut from Klinkhammer.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Klinkhammer.
PoopyPants darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Klinkhammer wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Roberto Klinkhammer dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.
PoopyPants lands a nice shot to the body.
PoopyPants avoids the body shot from Klinkhammer.
PoopyPants scores with a jab to the head.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut. Klinkhammer saw that one coming.
PoopyPants drives through and clinches with Klinkhammer against the cage.
PoopyPants lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
PoopyPants blocks a punch to the side of the head.
PoopyPants tries for a takedown. No joy.
PoopyPants lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Klinkhammer stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
PoopyPants working aggressively here.
Klinkhammer blocks an elbow strike.
Klinkhammer throws a punch but it's blocked by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants is working for takedown but Klinkhammer is calmly controlling the position for now.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Klinkhammer stalling in the clinch but PoopyPants improves position.
A nice glancing elbow lands by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants misses with a hook to the ribs.
Klinkhammer is trying to push PoopyPants away but PoopyPants has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Klinkhammer breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Klinkhammer lands an overhand right.
PoopyPants loads up on a big right hand but Klinkhammer slips the punch.
PoopyPants ducks under a wild hook from Klinkhammer.
PoopyPants fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Klinkhammer avoids it really well and circles away.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Klinkhammer scores with a shot to the body.
PoopyPants throws a predictable looking body shot
and Klinkhammer counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Klinkhammer throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Klinkhammer lands a jab to PoopyPants's midsection.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Klinkhammer throws a right and a left that both miss.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Klinkhammer finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Nice uppercut there from Klinkhammer.
PoopyPants tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Klinkhammer swivels and escapes.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by PoopyPants!
Klinkhammer is rocked!
PoopyPants closes the distance and lands a brutal uppercut that knocks Klinkhammer out! We're looking at the replay now - he was out before he hit the floor!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:23 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). BitchFace PoopyPants!
A relieved looking BitchFace PoopyPants thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
100% |
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