PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Sun Ra (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Ra
vs
McWeakhands

174 cm
34
148 lbs
30 - 16 - 1

168 cm
39
158 lbs
37 - 16 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Conquer

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 30 - 16 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Sun Ra!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 37 - 16 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
The judges for this bout are Chris Edwards, Andrew Berry and James Atkins.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWeakhands fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Ra checks it well.
Sun Ra seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Ra looks to score with a jab to the body but McWeakhands is just out of range.
McWeakhands avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Ra takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Ra has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Ra moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
A lazy left from Ra finds it's target.
Ra throws a jab but it's blocked by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands thows a left - swing and a miss!
Ra swings away with a leg kick that misses.
McWeakhands thows a body shot but no joy.
Ra connects with a solid leg kick.
Ra scores with a kick to the midsection.
McWeakhands uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Ra.
Ra slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
McWeakhands has done a lot of speed work in the buildup to this fight.
Ra fails with the takedown
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Dumbass McWeakhands is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands lands with an overhand left.
Ra blocks the body kick.
Ra tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and McWeakhands is able to avoid easily.
McWeakhands does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
McWeakhands scores with a head kick. Ra tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Ra scores with a shot to the body.
Ra scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Ra shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Ra throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
McWeakhands walks into a left hand.
McWeakhands throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
McWeakhands lands a nice looking body shot.
An inside leg kick from McWeakhands misses.
McWeakhands fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and McWeakhands wants it to stay on the feet.
Ra walks into a jab.
Ra keeps the fight on the outside.
Ra ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Ra misses with a body shot.
McWeakhands moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
McWeakhands misses with a wild combination.
McWeakhands throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Ra.
McWeakhands misses with a body punch
and Ra counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
McWeakhands lands with a cross.
Good work by Ra as he checks the leg kick.
McWeakhands keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ra walks into a straight right hand from McWeakhands.
Ra keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Ra lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Ra throws a nice head kick!
McWeakhands lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
McWeakhands throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Ra steps to the side to avoid the strikes from McWeakhands.
Ra connects with a high kick.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from McWeakhands lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Ra has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Ra and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Ra throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Ra keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Ra on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Ra dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on McWeakhands. That did some damage!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ra throws a leg kick
and McWeakhands counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Ra throws a leg kick
and McWeakhands counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Ra avoids a punch combination nicely.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick but Ra moved away.
Ra scores with a hook.
McWeakhands missing with a left hand there. Ra was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Ra throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Ra connects with a high kick.
Ra tries to clinch there but McWeakhands circles away.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWeakhands uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Ra.
McWeakhands uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Ra has time to react.
McWeakhands blocks the body kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Dumbass McWeakhands will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Ra misses the jab.
McWeakhands fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Nice defenses there by McWeakhands.
Ra stuns McWeakhands with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be getting the better of the standup.
McWeakhands tries to work over Ra's front leg with a kick but Ra checks it.
McWeakhands throws a head kick that Ra semi-blocks.
McWeakhands throws a hook but Ra avoids it easily.
Ra moves in looking to clinch but McWeakhands pushes him off.
McWeakhands takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
McWeakhands just misses with a punch to the body.
McWeakhands missing with a left hand there. Ra was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Ra swings widly with a right hand
and McWeakhands counters with a nice low kick that buckles Ra's knee momentarily.
Ra lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
McWeakhands fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A lazy left from McWeakhands finds it's target.
McWeakhands attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Ra pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Ra lands with a good body shot.
McWeakhands throws a shot from downtown. Ra moves away and avoids it.
McWeakhands takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
McWeakhands lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Ra finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
A chopping leg kick lands by McWeakhands.
Ra takes a swing at McWeakhands's ribcage but misses.
McWeakhands blocks a head kick by Ra.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick but Ra checks it.
A low kick from Ra misses
and McWeakhands makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
McWeakhands tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Ra counters with a leg kick.
McWeakhands fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Ra looks to throw a body kick
and McWeakhands counters with a good low kick that Ra was not able to check.
Ra on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by McWeakhands. McWeakhands obviously looking to wear him down.
McWeakhands does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Sloppy strikes from Ra. Those never looked like landing.
Ra tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
McWeakhands slips a straight right by Ra.
Ra throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Ra tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Some bone on bone action there as McWeakhands checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
McWeakhands misses with a head kick.
McWeakhands scoring well with a low kick there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Ra makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
McWeakhands throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Ra throws a low kick but McWeakhands avoids it.
McWeakhands misses with a straight right.
McWeakhands blocks a head kick by Ra.
Ra is looking to clinch but McWeakhands is avoiding it.
McWeakhands throws a hook to the side of Ra's head but Ra sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
McWeakhands lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from McWeakhands, right into the meat.
Ra fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Ra misses with an uppercut. McWeakhands saw that one coming.
Ra throws a right and a left that McWeakhands avoids nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Ra.
Ra looks to throw the jab but McWeakhands is out of range.
McWeakhands darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
A swing and a miss from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands cracks Ra with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
McWeakhands swings for the body but Ra moves out of range.
Some bone on bone action there as McWeakhands checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Ra throws a leg kick
and McWeakhands counters with a nice leg kick.
This has been an exciting period of action!
McWeakhands's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Ra connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! McWeakhands scrambles back to his feet.
Ra jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWeakhands throws a solid leg kick but Ra takes the impact on his shin and smiles at McWeakhands.
McWeakhands connects with a looping right hand.
Ra shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumbass McWeakhands showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

McWeakhands comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Ra goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Ra swings for the body but McWeakhands moves out of range.
Ra lands a jab to McWeakhands's midsection.
McWeakhands throws a shot to the body.
A head kick misses from Ra.
Ra has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from McWeakhands.
Ra walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
McWeakhands pivots, looking for a leg kick but Ra is out of range and McWeakhands settles back down.
Ra throws a predictable looking body shot
letting McWeakhands counter with a right hand.
Ra chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before McWeakhands can pounce on him.
McWeakhands smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Ra lands a head kick. McWeakhands smiles back at him and beckons him forward.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
McWeakhands on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Ra. Ra obviously looking to wear him down.
Ra is looking to land body kicks.
Ra connects with a looping right hand.
McWeakhands throws a nice head kick!
McWeakhands finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
The fighters circling - McWeakhands throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Ra throws out a powerful jab.

McWeakhands has managed to clinch.
Nice elbow from Ra.
McWeakhands fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
McWeakhands doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Ra can't find room to land a body shot as McWeakhands controls the action.

McWeakhands jumps guard.
The referee is asking the fighters to pick up the pace.
Ra controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Dumbass McWeakhands is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
McWeakhands is adopting a defensive guard.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Ra misses with a lunging right hand
and McWeakhands counters with a good low kick that Ra was not able to check.
McWeakhands tried to score with a low kick but Ra checks it.
McWeakhands throws a hook but Ra blocks it.
Ra tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A nice inside leg kick there by McWeakhands. That's going to slow Ra down.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands motions for Ra to come forward. McWeakhands throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Ra moves into range and connects with a jab.
McWeakhands takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Ra is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Ra throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Ra throws a combination that misses
and McWeakhands counters with a left and a right that stings Ra.
Ra defending well as McWeakhands loads up on a big left hand.
Sun Ra has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Ra on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by McWeakhands. McWeakhands obviously looking to wear him down.
Ra attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
McWeakhands misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
McWeakhands looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
McWeakhands avoids a kick to the body.
Ra wants to clinch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands moves out of range of the leg kick from Ra.
McWeakhands checks a leg kick.
Ra missing with a left hand there. McWeakhands was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
McWeakhands scores with a hook to the body. Ra takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Ra wants to clinch up but McWeakhands keeps it at a distance.
McWeakhands slips a straight right by Ra.
Ra attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Ra tries a head kick but it misses.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
McWeakhands takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Ra thows a body shot but no joy.
McWeakhands feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Ra's calf.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dumbass McWeakhands comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well McWeakhands has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 27:30
Judge Andrew Berry scores the fight 27:30
Judge James Atkins scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dumbass McWeakhands!
After winning the bout, Dumbass McWeakhands thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.