PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Cabbage Patch (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lucifrous Satanous (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Patch comes to the cage accompanied by Stormtrooper-Pepper. Satanous comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Put You To Bed kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Patch
vs
Satanous

189 cm
29
281 lbs
9 - 5 - 0

184 cm
29
260 lbs
14 - 2 - 0

BJJ Brown Belt
Excellent boxer
Experienced

Excellent grappler
Basic striking
Good gas tank

Zipp Zapp

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Cabbage Patch!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Lucifrous Satanous!
The judges for this bout are Paul Aken, Paulsen Ambrosius and Albert Achterberg.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Patch takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
No joy there for Patch, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Patch rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Satanous moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
A lazy left from Satanous finds it's target.
Patch avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Satanous fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Patch manages to avoid it.
Patch takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Satanous catches Patch with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Satanous lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Satanous!

Satanous shoots in and gets a takedown into Patch's guard.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Patch is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Patch keeping full guard, as Satanous tries to pass.
Satanous lands a couple of elbows.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Satanous's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Satanous stands and throws Patch's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Satanous cracks Patch with a big right hand but Patch just smiles back at him and invites him to have another go.
Patch is trying to improve his position.
Satanous working the head and body with strikes.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Patch is looking for a sweep.
Satanous is pausing for a moment. What's he doing? It looks like he's clearing his nose. Oh dude! He's shot a load of snot all down Patch's shoulder. That is not cool.
Satanous wants to lay and pray for a moment but Patch keeps working.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Satanous landing strikes.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!

Satanous tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
The referee asks Satanous politely if he wouldn't mind getting on with it and actually doing something. Satanous prefers to stall for the moment though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Satanous working the head and body with strikes.
Satanous tries to score with some ground and pound. Patch controls his posture well this time though and the shots don't do any damage.
Satanous working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
Patch is looking to slip a leg under and get half guard but Satanous is one step ahead and moves to full mount!
Satanous wants to control the pace but Patch is squirming around nicely.
Satanous fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!
Oooh a big shot lands for Satanous! Patch is out! The ref dives in to save him from more punishment!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:59 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Strikes). Lucifrous Satanous!
Lucifrous Satanous spent the whole post fight interview bigging himself up. It didn't go down that well with the fans after a while as they thought it was a bit arrogant.