PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Bill Clinton (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Macadam Baird (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Clinton's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Break Ya Neck. Bill Clinton is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Clinton
vs
Baird

189 cm
30
196 lbs
24 - 9 - 0

182 cm
25
190 lbs
13 - 6 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
Good low kicks
Good gas tank

Zipp Zapp

Affordable Quality + Reliable Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 24 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Bill Clinton!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Macadam Baird!
The judges for this bout are Cecil Peabody, Frank Dennis and Gwen Towbar.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Baird is defended easily by Clinton.
Baird keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Baird takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
A looping hook to the body misses from Clinton. Baird does a little dance to reset his feet.
Baird needs to keep his hands up - Clinton had a free shot at his head there.

Baird closes the distance and clinches.
Clinton misses with a body punch.
Clinton lands a nice knee to the body.
Clinton missing with knees to the body.

Baird jumps guard and drags Clinton to the mat. He's obviously going to be looking for submissions off his back.
Baird avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Clinton trying to control but Baird is working from the bottom.
Baird looking to control.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Baird keeping moving, preventing Clinton from controlling successfully.
Clinton is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Baird is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.
Clinton connects with a couple of short punches.
Clinton in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Clinton is in close to Baird's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Clinton postures up in Baird's guard and throws a big left but Baird blocks it.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Clinton being controlled here momentarily.
Baird working a defensive guard here.
Baird pulls Clinton in close to prevent any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Baird working a defensive guard here.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Macadam Baird was stalling too much, according to the referee.

Baird moves into the clinch.
Baird managing to block the knees to the body from Clinton.

Clinton pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.

Baird has Clinton up against the cage in a clinch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Clinton misses with a punch on the inside.

Clinton lands a takedown into guard.
Baird keeping moving, preventing Clinton from controlling successfully.
Clinton looking to pass the guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Clinton working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Clinton tries to free his leg and advance position but Baird is retaining full guard.
Clinton trying to control but Baird is working from the bottom.
Baird looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Baird looking to hit a scissor sweep but Clinton is one step ahead there.
Baird is trying to control the position from the bottom.

Baird throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Clinton trying to control the position from guard on top but Baird is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Baird controls Clinton momentarily but Clinton frees himself.
We've had a lack of effective grappling in the last minute or so, which could well see a referee standup.

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.
Baird wants to slow Clinton down by chopping away at his legs.
Baird on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Baird misses with a wild body shot.
Clinton scores with a nice right hand.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Baird misses with an uppercut. Clinton saw that one coming.
Baird misses with a straight left.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Baird gets a clinch.
Clinton tries to land knees in the clinch but Baird avoids the damage to the body.

Baird tightens his grip and picks Clinton up, before dumping him to the ground. Clinton manages to land in guard.
Baird looking to pass the guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bill Clinton dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Baird is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Clinton's half guard.
Baird is stalling here. Clinton is in no mood to hang around though. He's locked up a kimura from the bottom! Baird seems to be keeping calm but he's forced to roll out of the hold and Clinton has ended up in side control on the top. Nice work.
Baird is not content to let Clinton control the position.
Baird is trying to get back to half guard.
Clinton wants to lay and pray for a moment but Baird keeps working.
Baird tries to bench press Clinton off him but Clinton keeps the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Clinton lands some shots froms side control.
Clinton working the ground and pound but Baird is defending the strikes.
Clinton scoring with punches and elbows.
Baird tries to get back to half guard but can't.

Clinton is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Baird knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.
Bill Clinton overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Clinton throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.
Clinton misses with the ground and pound.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Clinton wants to lay and pray for a moment but Baird keeps working.
Baird tries to improve position but can't.
Clinton tries to advance to mount but Baird denies him.
Baird is trying to get back to half guard. He's pushing on Clinton's leg. He's managed it. Nice work.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Clinton is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.
Baird trying to control from the bottom.
Clinton wants to control but Baird is keeping him busy.
Baird has hold of Clinton's hands but Clinton slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Baird is trying to stand up here but Clinton is controlling him well.
Baird moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Clinton stopping the sweep attempt from Baird.
Clinton advances to half guard.
Baird blocking the ground and pound attempt from Clinton.
Baird on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Baird is doing well to avoid being mounted. He's controlling the position at the moment.
Clinton is looking to pass Baird's guard but actually Baird recovers to full guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Baird wants to stand up but Clinton is controlling him.
Clinton working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Baird keeping moving, preventing Clinton from controlling successfully.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Baird looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Baird controlling the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bill Clinton dominated that second round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!

Clinton misses with a kick to the body.
Baird lands a nice shot to the body.
Baird throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Clinton sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Baird throws a head kick that misses.

Baird rushes Clinton and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Baird tries to pull guard but Clinton forces him back to his feet, against the cage.

Clinton has moved round to his opponent's back and is looking for a suplex! Oh snap! He's tossed Baird clear over his head and slammed him to the mat!
Clinton controlling well, preventing Baird from escaping the position.
Clinton trying desperately to keep hold of the dominant position.
Baird manages to reverse the position and now he's in Clinton's guard. Nice work there by Baird.
Baird stopping the sweep attempt from Clinton.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Clinton avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Clinton managing to control the position.
Baird content to stall in guard here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Clinton can't keep his opponent in guard - Baird advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Clinton is controlling Baird's trapped leg to prevent Baird from advancing to side control.
Clinton won't allow Baird to pass to mount.
Clinton trying to control here.
Clinton throws a strike from the bottom that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Clinton tries to get to full guard but Baird has control of the leg.
Nice strikes from Baird there.
Baird trying to pass the guard but Clinton defending well.
Baird is nestled in close to Clinton, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
Baird thows a huge punch but Clinton dodges it nicely.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Baird connects with a nice short shot to Clinton's temple.
Clinton is looking for a sweep. Baird is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Bill Clinton is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Baird lands with a punch from half guard.
Baird is pressing down on Clinton's thigh, looking to free his foot. Clinton is holding on for now.
Baird missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
Clinton works his way to full guard. Good work.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Baird accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Baird trying to control but Clinton is working from the bottom.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Baird scoring with some ground and pound.

And that's the end of the fight!
Macadam Baird comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Clinton has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Cecil Peabody scores the fight 29:28
Judge Frank Dennis scores the fight 29:28
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Bill Clinton!
In his post fight interview, Bill Clinton gave a big smile as he said 'That's how you're gonna beat 'em, Billy. They keep underestimating you.'.