PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Grammur Natzee (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Juris Dicktion (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Natzee's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Marillion - Garden Party. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Natzee
vs
Dicktion

162 cm
35
148 lbs
34 - 15 - 4

180 cm
31
260 lbs
12 - 12 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Granite chin

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 34 - 15 - 4, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Grammur Natzee!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Juris Dicktion!
The judges for this bout are Robert Twigg, Gwen Towbar and Tiny Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dicktion scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Dicktion fails to land with a series of punches.
Dicktion throws a head kick that Natzee semi-blocks.

It looks like Grammur Natzee has been cut.
Natzee throws a left and a right that both miss
and Dicktion counters with a nice low kick that buckles Natzee's knee momentarily.
Natzee checks a leg kick nicely.
Dicktion misses with a head kick.
Dicktion misses with a few strikes there.
Natzee connects with a body shot that sends Dicktion's belly button to the back.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Natzee misses with the combination.
Nice body kick there by Dicktion.
Natzee throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Juris Dicktion seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Natzee throws a nice looking combination but Dicktion bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Natzee needs to keep his hands up - Dicktion had a free shot at his head there.
Natzee avoids the head kick by Dicktion.
Natzee fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Dicktion is looking to clinch.
Dicktion throws a head kick that half lands.
Natzee misses with a body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Natzee swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Dicktion finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Natzee throws a jab but it's blocked by Dicktion.
Natzee keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Natzee misses with an uppercut.
Natzee takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Dicktion connects with an inside leg kick.
A solid body kick from Dicktion.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Natzee misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
A good leg kick by Dicktion.
Natzee blocks the body kick.

Dicktion instigates a clinch.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Natzee.
Dicktion tries to land knees in the clinch but Natzee avoids the damage to the body.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Natzee.
Dicktion misses with a punch on the inside.
Natzee lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Dicktion connects with a knee to the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dicktion blocks a body shot from Natzee.
Dicktion misses with a knee strike.
Natzee softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Dicktion tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Natzee definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Dicktion.
Dicktion connects with a knee to the head.
Natzee avoiding damage as Dicktion throws knees to the body.
Dicktion tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Natzee blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
A short right from Natzee on the inside.
Dicktion tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Natzee tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
A short right from Natzee on the inside.
Natzee scores with a nice hook to the head.
Dicktion throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Natzee blocks it with crossed arms.
Natzee tries to throw a body punch but Dicktion avoids it by throwing Natzee back against the cage.
Natzee misses with a punch on the inside.
A right handed body shot lands from Natzee.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A short uppercut from Natzee.
Natzee lands a right hand that snaps the head of Dicktion backwards.
Natzee throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Natzee scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Natzee stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Dicktion tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Natzee's elbow.
Natzee will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Dicktion up against the cage.
Natzee fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Natzee lands a nice shot to the body.
Dicktion blocking some punches.
Natzee struggles to land a body shot inside as Dicktion controls his hands.
Natzee doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Natzee blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Dicktion tries a knee to the head but Natzee blocks it.
Dicktion looking to throw knees to the head but Natzee is blocking nicely.
Dicktion misses with some punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dicktion misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Dicktion scores a nice knee to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kneeeeees! The crowd are calling for knees to the body. Dicktion obliges.
A head punch on the inside from Natzee fails to land.
Dicktion tries a body shot but Natzee blocks it.
Natzee blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Natzee throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Dicktions head.
Natzee misses with some punches.
Dicktion unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Natzee fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Natzee lands a shoulder strike.
Dicktion throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Natzee misses with a body punch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Dicktion misses with a knee strike.
Natzee works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Dicktion lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Natzee avoiding damage as Dicktion throws knees to the body.
Natzee lands a left hand.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Juris Dicktion dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Grammur Natzee's cut.
That's time! Natzee's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Dicktion lands a front kick.
Dicktion throws a body kick that misses
and Natzee counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Natzee scores with a shot to the body.
Juris Dicktion seems to be getting the better of the standup.
A swing and a miss from Natzee.
Dicktion looks to throw the jab but Natzee is out of range.
Natzee throws an off balance right hand

and Dicktion moves into the clinch.
Natzee has a couple of punches blocked by Dicktion.
Dicktion lands a knee to the head.
Natzee lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Natzee works on Dicktion's body with a couple of short punches.
A short uppercut from Natzee.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Natzee lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Grammur Natzee has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Natzee lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Natzee blocks an uppercut.
Natzee pushes Dicktion back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Dicktion tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Natzee misses with some punches.
Dicktion tries to land knees in the clinch but Natzee avoids the damage to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A short right from Natzee on the inside.
A nice right hand lands inside from Natzee.
Natzee lands with a right to the head.
Dicktion missing with knees to the body.
Natzee tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Dicktion scores a nice knee to the body.
Dicktion throws a knee to the head but misses.
Natzee misses with a hook from the clinch.
Dicktion using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Natzee has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Dicktion is breathing heavily.
A short right from Natzee on the inside.
Natzee misses with a hook from the clinch.
Natzee misses with a hook to the ribs.
Natzee working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Dicktion blocking some punches.
Natzee lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dicktion tries to land knees in the clinch but Natzee avoids the damage to the body.
A knee to the head by Dicktion.
Dicktion lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Natzee.
Dicktion misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Natzee.
Dicktion trying to land knees to the body.
Natzee blocks an uppercut.
Natzee tries a body shot but Dicktion blocks it.
Natzee lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Dicktion backwards.
Natzee lands a hook that snaps the head of Dicktion backwards.
Natzee tries to throw a body punch but Dicktion avoids it by throwing Natzee back against the cage.
Natzee tries a body shot but Dicktion blocks it.
Natzee swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Natzee fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Natzee doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Dicktion fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Natzee pressing his opponent against the cage.
Natzee misses with a body punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dicktion misses with some punches.
Dicktion with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Natzee tries a body shot but Dicktion blocks it.
Natzee managing to block the knees to the body from Dicktion.
Dicktion with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Natzee is looking to control Dicktion's arms but Dicktion gets an underhook and turns him. Now Natzee has his back to the cage.
Natzee lands a nice uppercut.
Dicktion tries to land a knee to the head but Natzee blocks with his arms.
Natzee blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Natzee.
Natzee lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Natzee scores with a shoulder strike.
Natzee lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Dicktion missing with knees to the body.
Natzee pushes Dicktion back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Natzee lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Dicktion tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Natzee working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Dicktion using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Natzee has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Natzee tries a body shot but Dicktion blocks it.
A short left from Natzee.
Dicktion misses with a knee strike.
Dicktion misses with a knee strike.
Natzee lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Dicktion tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Dicktion throws a knee to the head but misses.
Dicktion tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Natzee avoids it.
Natzee misses with a hook from the clinch.
Natzee lands a hook that snaps the head of Dicktion backwards.
Natzee presses Dicktion against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Good body shot from Natzee.
Still in the clinch, Natzee scores with a nice short uppercut.
A nice right hand lands inside from Natzee.
Natzee looking to stall.
Natzee managing to block the knees to the body from Dicktion.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Grammur Natzee dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Grammur Natzee's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Nice straight punches there by Natzee. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Natzee.

It looks like Juris Dicktion has been cut.
Natzee is looking to wear down Dicktion with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Natzee throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Natzee swinging wildly here.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Dicktion.
Dicktion fails to land with a series of punches.
Natzee throws a jab but it's blocked by Dicktion.
Natzee bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Dicktion's head.
Natzee throws out a loose jab but Dicktion uses good head movement to avoid it.
Natzee misses with a hook
and Dicktion counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Natzee throws out a loose jab but Dicktion uses good head movement to avoid it.
Dicktion on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Natzee with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Natzee throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Dicktion.
Dicktion tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Natzee manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Natzee connects with a good right hand that stumbles Dicktion. Dicktion circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Natzee misses with a wild body shot.
Dicktion takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Natzee misses with an uppercut. Dicktion saw that one coming.
Dicktion needs to keep his hands up - Natzee had a free shot at his head there.
Natzee looks to throw the jab but Dicktion is out of range.
Dicktion scores with a nice body kick.
Natzee shoots for a takedown but Dicktion saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Natzee misses the shot to the body.
Natzee takes a swing at Dicktion's ribcage but misses.
Natzee scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Juris Dicktion is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Natzee misses with a hook. Dicktion ducked under it nicely.
Dicktion tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Natzee is able to avoid easily.
Natzee dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Natzee misses the jab.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
An inside leg kick lands from Dicktion.
Natzee missing with a left hand there. Dicktion was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Natzee throws a hook to the side of Dicktion's head but Dicktion sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Natzee shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Dicktion misses with a hook
and Natzee counters with a nice body shot.
Natzee bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Dicktion lands with a nice body kick.
Natzee dodges the punch combination from Dicktion.
Dicktion wants to land a leg kick but Natzee is out of range.
Natzee pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Natzee takes a swing at Dicktion's ribcage but misses.
Some wild striking there from Dicktion.
Natzee throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Dicktion throws a head kick that misses.
Dicktion throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Dicktion misses with a low kick.
Natzee lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.

That has opened up Juris Dicktion's cut even more.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Natzee throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Natzee misses with a looping left.
Dicktion with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Natzee connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Dicktion uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Natzee.
Dicktion slips under a jab from Natzee.
A head kick misses from Dicktion.
Dicktion throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Dicktion with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Natzee to score with a decent uppercut.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Natzee!
Natzee looks to land a left hand but Dicktion moved out of range nicely.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dicktion uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Natzee.
A big left from Natzee misses.
Dicktion throws a head kick that half lands.
Natzee avoids a punch combination nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Natzee lands a nice shot to the body.
Dicktion blocks a jab.
Dicktion takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Natzee misses with an uppercut. Dicktion saw that one coming.
A telegraphed right hand from Natzee misses the target.
Natzee lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as Dicktion backs up against the cage.

The cut above Juris Dicktion's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Natzee will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
Natzee looks to land a right hand but Dicktion moved out of range.
Good exchange - Natzee coming out on top.
Dicktion tries to clinch up but Natzee circles away and keeps his distance.
Dicktion keeps Natzee at a distance using the push kick.
Natzee misses with a wild combination.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Natzee swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Dicktion thumps Natzee with a low kick.
Natzee avoids the head kick by Dicktion.

And that's the end of the fight!
Grammur Natzee showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Natzee has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 29:28
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 29:28
Judge Tiny Johnson scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Grammur Natzee!
As Grammur Natzee got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: i before e.'.