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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Haloti Gnata (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think PoopyPants might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Deathly Quiet. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!
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197 cm
30
222 lbs
22 - 10 - 0 |
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192 cm
30
209 lbs
22 - 11 - 0 |
Good wrestling
Great elbows
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division. Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner. With a record of
22 - 10 - 0, fighting out of London, BitchFace PoopyPants! And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner. With a record of
22 - 11 - 0, fighting out of London, Haloti Gnata! The judges for this bout are William Gold, Donald Grub and James Glass.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway! A left lands for PoopyPants. PoopyPants has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance. Gnata misses with a hook. PoopyPants ducked under it nicely. PoopyPants ducks right into an uppercut from Gnata. PoopyPants cracks a nice hook into Gnata's ribs. PoopyPants closes the distance and clinches up with Gnata, looking for a takedown. PoopyPants pushes Gnata against the cage but Gnata circles to the side and manages to break the clinch. Nice uppercut there from PoopyPants. PoopyPants throws a body punch but Gnata moves out of range. Gnata throws a lazy right hand but PoopyPants sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily. PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Gnata but Gnata pushes him off and we're back to square one. Gnata ducks down and throws a hook to the body. PoopyPants just misses with a punch to the body.
Gnata is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by PoopyPants. Gnata darts in and out, connecting with a jab. Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show! Gnata lands a head shot. PoopyPants wants to clinch up but Gnata keeps it at a distance.
That's one minute gone in the round. PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Gnata keeps the fight on the outside. Gnata doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body. PoopyPants tries to clinch but Gnata moves out of range. Haloti Gnata is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs. PoopyPants throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Gnata counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw. PoopyPants fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done. PoopyPants closes the distance and clinches up with Gnata, looking for a takedown. PoopyPants pushes Gnata against the cage but Gnata circles to the side and manages to break the clinch. That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him. Gnata keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
PoopyPants fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. Gnata sprawls well initially but PoopyPants persists and gets the takedown into half guard. Gnata wants to get back to full guard. Gnata manages to get to full guard.
PoopyPants trying to control but Gnata is working from the bottom.
That's two minutes gone in the round. PoopyPants missing there with some ground and pound from the guard. Gnata lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here. PoopyPants isolates an arm and boxes in a triangle. Gnata stacks PoopyPants on his neck as he steps over and passes to the side. He's now in a much more dominant position where he can look to do some serious damage. Nice move by Gnata! Gnata tries to land with some ground and pound but misses. Gnata staying calm. Both fighters have adopted an aggressive gameplan on the ground! PoopyPants can't do much from the bottom here.
That's three minutes gone in the round. Gnata wants to control but PoopyPants is keeping him busy. PoopyPants is being controlled here. PoopyPants is not content to let Gnata control the position. PoopyPants is looking for a sweep. Gnata trying to control the action but PoopyPants is working from the bottom. The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult. You can see the frustration on PoopyPants's face, being in this tough position on the bottom. The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
That's four minutes gone in the round. My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer. PoopyPants is trying to improve his position. In the pre-fight buildup videos we saw Gnata working his ground and pound in the gym. He isn't landing a great percentage of his ground strikes so far though. PoopyPants is working hard here to advance position. PoopyPants pushes Gnata away and creates a bit of space to escape. He's almost out here... but no, Gnata gets a good hold of his legs and remains firmly in side control. We've had a lack of effective grappling in the last minute or so, which could well see a referee standup. Gnata wants to control but PoopyPants is keeping him busy. PoopyPants is trying to get back to half guard. Gnata working away.
The referee decides to stand the fighters back up. A slapping leg kick lands for Gnata.
Gnata uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants wants to clinch up but Gnata keeps it at a distance. Gnata dips down and scores with a jab to the body. PoopyPants gets tackled into the cage by Gnata. Gnata maintains the clinch. And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Haloti Gnata dominated that round. That's time! PoopyPants's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.
Gnata throws the left hand but PoopyPants avoids the punch easily. PoopyPants clobbers Gnata with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise. PoopyPants sizes up Gnata with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle. PoopyPants misses with a wild combination.
Gnata misses with a lunging right hand
and PoopyPants counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by PoopyPants. PoopyPants throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Gnata works some decent striking defense from the bottom. PoopyPants trying to control but Gnata is working from the bottom. PoopyPants advances position into side control! PoopyPants wants to control but Gnata is keeping him busy. Gnata can't do much from the bottom here. PoopyPants tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no PoopyPants has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
That's one minute gone in the round. Gnata avoids any damage from the ground and pound of PoopyPants. Gnata is positioning himself to get back to half guard. Gnata wants to get back to his feet. Gnata wants to control but PoopyPants postures up. Gnata is looking for a sweep. PoopyPants tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though. PoopyPants thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
That's two minutes gone in the round. A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace. An elbow from PoopyPants crashes against the mat.
PoopyPants trying to control the action but Gnata is working from the bottom. Gnata wants to control but PoopyPants postures up. PoopyPants fails to land a wild elbow strike.
Gnata is trying to get back to his feet. Gnata keeps PoopyPants under control for a moment. Gnata struggling a bit here.
The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
That's three minutes gone in the round. PoopyPants shoots in with a lovely double leg takedown. Gnata manages to land in full guard to minimise the damage. Gnata not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Gnata avoiding any damage from the ground and pound. Gnata is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent. Gnata wants to sweep here but PoopyPants controlling him for the moment. PoopyPants pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Gnata is keeping the position for now. PoopyPants slips effortlessly into side control - very nice. Gnata wants to control but PoopyPants postures up.
That's four minutes gone in the round. PoopyPants trying to control the position but Gnata is working away. PoopyPants tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no PoopyPants has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought! PoopyPants goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Gnata rolls with the submission and now he's on top in PoopyPants's guard! Nice work there by Gnata! Gnata is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions. Gnata throwing strikes but missing. The crowd thankful this round is nearly over. Gnata wants to pass the guard but PoopyPants is keeping the position. Gnata is still trying to improve position. And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
BitchFace PoopyPants dominated that second round. That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!
Gnata takes a body punch but keeps moving. Gnata avoids the head kick by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants misses with a straight right. PoopyPants connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son. PoopyPants shoots in looking for a takedown but Gnata manages to keep the fight standing, pushing PoopyPants's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away. Gnata throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent PoopyPants stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly. PoopyPants swings for the body but Gnata moves out of range.
Gnata throws a poor cross that misses
and PoopyPants counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head. BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout. Gnata throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent PoopyPants stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly. PoopyPants wants to clinch. PoopyPants takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Gnata has PoopyPants up against the cage in a clinch.
That's one minute gone in the round. Gnata has a couple of punches blocked by PoopyPants.
Gnata misses with the head strike.
A head punch on the inside from Gnata fails to land. Gnata working aggressively here.
Gnata working aggressively here.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Gnata. Gnata misses with a shot to the kidneys.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow over the top. Gnata is trying to stall.
PoopyPants lands a right hand that snaps the head of Gnata backwards. PoopyPants lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards. Gnata pressing his opponent against the cage. Gnata presses PoopyPants against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot. PoopyPants throws an elbow that misses.
Gnata tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
That's two minutes gone in the round. PoopyPants tries to throw a body punch but Gnata avoids it by throwing PoopyPants back against the cage. PoopyPants wants a takedown.
PoopyPants is trying to maintain a safe position but Gnata gets an underhook and turns PoopyPants into the cage. Gnata lands a left hand that snaps the head of PoopyPants backwards. Gnata lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down PoopyPants. Gnata scores with a shot to the side of PoopyPants's head. Gnata gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from PoopyPants.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him. Gnata can't find room to land a body shot as PoopyPants controls the action.
Gnata throws a punch but it's blocked by PoopyPants. Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd. PoopyPants gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head. PoopyPants blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Gnata tries to work over PoopyPants's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target. PoopyPants avoiding damage as Gnata throws knees to the body.
PoopyPants is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage. Gnata pushes PoopyPants back against the cage and unloads with a body punch. Gnata softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
That's three minutes gone in the round. PoopyPants takes a shot to the head. Gnata misses with a punch to the body.
Gnata misses with the head strike.
Gnata lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage. Gnata is looking to control PoopyPants's arms but PoopyPants gets an underhook and turns him. Now Gnata has his back to the cage. PoopyPants gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head. Gnata gets through PoopyPants's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head. A right hook to the body lands for Gnata.
PoopyPants lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Gnata backwards. Gnata misses with the head strike.
PoopyPants lands a left hand.
PoopyPants lands with a short head shot on the inside. Gnata throws a head punch that misses. A head punch blocked on the inside by PoopyPants. Come on Gnata - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
A nice left hand lands by Gnata.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd. Gnata is defending well against a takedown attempt.
That's four minutes gone in the round. PoopyPants has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Gnata is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet. PoopyPants goes for a takedown attempt but Gnata pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Both fighters are breathing heavily. PoopyPants blocks a jab. A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Gnata does a little dance to reset his feet. Gnata throws a right and a left that PoopyPants avoids nicely. PoopyPants looks to score with a jab to the body but Gnata is just out of range. Gnata takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away. Gnata wants to clinch up but PoopyPants keeps it at a distance. PoopyPants lands a nice looking body shot.
PoopyPants is looking to wear down Gnata with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment. Gnata misses with a jab, cross combination.
Gnata swats away the attempt to clinch by PoopyPants. PoopyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Gnata manages to avoid it.
And that's the end of the fight! Haloti Gnata comfortably won the final round on my scorecard. I think Gnata has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision. Judge William Gold scores the fight 28:29 Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 28:29 Judge James Glass scores the fight 28:29
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Haloti Gnata! Haloti Gnata was full of energy after the big win and talked about how he thinks he can do big things in this sport. The crowd were appreciative of his determination to succeed.
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S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
45% |
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