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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Jerry Seinfeld (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Fat Retard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jerry Seinfeld has the edge in experience - let's see if he can make that count tonight.
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| 190 cm
27
195 lbs
9 - 0 - 0 |
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182 cm
21
200 lbs
1 - 1 - 0 |
Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine |
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BJJ Purple Belt
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
9 - 0 - 0, fighting out of New York, Jerry Seinfeld!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Fat Retard!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Timothy Bukovac and Don Winkell.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Seinfeld moves out of range as Retard throws a body kick.
Retard looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Retard walks forward, straight into a front kick from Seinfeld.
Retard walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Seinfeld misses with a wild combination.
The fighters circling - Retard throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
It looked like Seinfeld was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Retard.
Retard takes the fight into the clinch.
Retard lands an elbow inside.
Seinfeld has Retard pressed against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Seinfeld doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Retard being controlled against the cage.
A short right from Seinfeld.
It looks like Fat Retard has been cut.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Seinfeld controlling the action here for a moment.
Seinfeld displaying some good clinch control by pressing Retard up against the cage.
Seinfeld lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Retard backwards.
Seinfeld is stalling here.
Seinfeld taking a breather.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Jerry Seinfeld.
Retard throws out a loose jab but Seinfeld uses good head movement to avoid it.
Seinfeld fires out a quick counter leg kick but Retard just manages to avoid it.
Retard misses with the body kick
and Seinfeld counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Seinfeld jabs Retard right on the nose. Retard blinks but takes it well.
Retard cracks Seinfeld with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Seinfeld moves into the clinch.
Seinfeld misses with some punches.
Seinfeld working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Seinfeld holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Retard scores with a shoulder strike.
Retard blocks an uppercut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Seinfeld lands a hook that snaps the head of Retard backwards.
Seinfeld managing to block the knees to the body from Retard.
Seinfeld misses with a hook from the clinch.
Seinfeld takes an elbow to the temple.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Seinfeld is looking to control Retard's arms but Retard gets an underhook and turns him. Now Seinfeld has his back to the cage.
Seinfeld fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Retard blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Retard lands a damaging elbow.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Seinfeld.
The referee calls for Retard to work.
A nice left hand lands by Seinfeld.
Retard blocks an uppercut.
Seinfeld blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
A head punch on the inside from Retard fails to land.
Retard prevents a body shot from Seinfeld.
Seinfeld throws a knee to the head but misses.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A short right from Seinfeld on the inside.
Seinfeld stalling in the clinch.
Retard gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Retard letting Seinfeld take a breather here.
Retard blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Seinfeld can't find room to land a body shot as Retard controls the action.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Seinfeld.
Retard with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Seinfeld fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Retard creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Seinfeld's defenses.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Seinfeld tries a knee to the head but Retard blocks it.
Retard blocks an uppercut.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Jerry Seinfeld dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Fat Retard's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.
A clash of legs there as Retard blocks the low kick.
Seinfeld pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Retard back to the cage. Seinfeld follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Seinfeld moves out of range of the body kick.
Retard throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Seinfeld scores with a nice right hand.
Retard misses with an uppercut
and Seinfeld counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Seinfeld keeps the fight on the outside.
Retard keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
A lazy body kick from Retard
and Seinfeld counters with a nice uppercut.
Retard closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Seinfeld misses with a hook to the ribs.
Seinfeld swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Seinfeld is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Retard is keeping busy.
Retard lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Seinfeld tries to work over Retard's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Seinfeld lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Seinfeld is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Seinfeld lands with a light punch inside.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Seinfeld.
Seinfeld fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Seinfeld tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Seinfeld working aggressively here.
Seinfeld blocks an elbow strike from Retard.
Seinfeld misses with a punch to the body.
Seinfeld misses with a hook from the clinch.
Seinfeld is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Retard can do to turn this around?
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Retard lands with a left to the head.
A nice left hand lands by Seinfeld.
Retard is trying to maintain a safe position but Seinfeld gets an underhook and turns Retard into the cage.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Retard is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Seinfeld is defending well for now.
Retard using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Seinfeld has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Seinfeld throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Retards head.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Retard.
Retard on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
A nice right hand lands inside from Seinfeld.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Seinfeld tries to throw a body punch but Retard avoids it by throwing Seinfeld back against the cage.
Seinfeld managing to block the knees to the body from Retard.
Retard throws an elbow that misses.
Seinfeld throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Retard blocks it with crossed arms.
Seinfeld gets through Retard's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Seinfeld misses with a punch to the body.
Seinfeld tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Retard landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Retard with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Jerry Seinfeld has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Seinfeld looking to slow down the pace here.
Seinfeld misses with a short punch on the inside.
Retard pushes off an throws an elbow but Seinfeld leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Retard creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Retard lands an elbow that stopped Seinfeld in his tracks for a moment.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Seinfeld goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Seinfeld misses with a body punch.
Seinfeld tries to work over Retard's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Seinfeld.
Seinfeld letting Retard take a breather here.
Retard lands an elbow inside that Seinfeld shrugs off.
Retard pushes off an throws an elbow but Seinfeld leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Retard creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Seinfeld's defenses.
Seinfeld taking a breather.
Seinfeld content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Retard blocking some punches.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Jerry Seinfeld dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Fat Retard's cut.
That's time! Seinfeld's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!
Retard throws the kick towards the body but Seinfeld avoids it.
Retard looks to land a body kick but Seinfeld moved away.
Jerry Seinfeld is winning the standup battle so far.
Retard tries to close the distance and clinch but Seinfeld swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
A head kick misses from Retard.
Retard goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Seinfeld fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Retard manages to avoid it.
Seinfeld gets a clinch.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Seinfeld.
Seinfeld lands with a right to the head.
Seinfeld managing to block the knees to the body from Retard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Seinfeld misses with a hook from the clinch.
Seinfeld avoids a wild elbow strike from Retard.
Seinfeld fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Seinfeld misses with a knee strike.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Retard putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Seinfeld in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
Retard misses with an elbow over the top.
Seinfeld working aggressively here.
Seinfeld tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Retard.
Seinfeld misses with a punch on the inside.
Seinfeld digs a right hand underneath Retard's ribcage. Retard let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Seinfeld lands a hook that snaps the head of Retard backwards.
Seinfeld on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Seinfeld tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Retard's elbow.
Retard blocks a body shot from Seinfeld.
Seinfeld stalls.
Seinfeld tries to throw a body punch but Retard avoids it by throwing Seinfeld back against the cage.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Retard lands an elbow that stopped Seinfeld in his tracks for a moment.
Seinfeld looking to slow down the pace here.
Seinfeld trying to stall but Retard improves his position.
Retard trying to land knees to the body.
Retard stalling the fight.
Seinfeld misses with a hook to the ribs.
Seinfeld misses with a punch on the inside.
Seinfeld lands a shot to the body.
Seinfeld working aggressively here.
Retard is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Retard prevents a body shot from Seinfeld.
Seinfeld swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Seinfeld lands on the inside with an uppercut.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Seinfeld.
Seinfeld working aggressively here.
Jerry Seinfeld is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
A knee to the head by Seinfeld.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Seinfeld as Retard tries to tie him up.
A short right from Seinfeld.
Seinfeld just leaning against Retard, taking a breather.
Retard is stalling here.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Seinfeld throws a punch but it's blocked by Retard.
Seinfeld lands a left hand that snaps the head of Retard backwards.
Seinfeld looking to stall.
Seinfeld is pushing Retard up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Seinfeld is trying to stall.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Retard throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
And that's the end of the fight!
Jerry Seinfeld showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Seinfeld has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Antenori scores the fight 30:27
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 30:27
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 30:27
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Jerry Seinfeld!
Jerry Seinfeld decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
44% |
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