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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Van Kelly (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!
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| 181 cm
41
168 lbs
20 - 10 - 0 |
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168 cm
45
158 lbs
44 - 27 - 1 |
Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine |
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Good wrestler
World class boxer
Heavy handed |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
20 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Van Kelly!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
44 - 27 - 1, fighting out of St Petersburg, Dumbass McWeakhands!
The judges for this bout are Frank Dennis, Stewart Dunkirk and Robert Twigg.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWeakhands cracks Kelly with a right hand to the side of the head.
Kelly is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
McWeakhands throws a head kick but Kelly moves out of range.
Kelly tries to clinch but McWeakhands is having none of it.
McWeakhands scores with a kick to the midsection.
McWeakhands misses the shot to the body.
McWeakhands misses the shot to the body.
McWeakhands fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Kelly has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Kelly uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Kelly tries to score a power double leg takedown but McWeakhands sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Kelly somewhat.
Kelly moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick
and Kelly counters with a three punch combo that has McWeakhands backing up. McWeakhands nods at Kelly to acknowledge the strikes.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Kelly slips under a jab.
Kelly shoots in but no luck this time.
Kelly on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by McWeakhands. McWeakhands obviously looking to wear him down.
Kelly misses with a takedown attempt - McWeakhands sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Van Kelly. That's going to take a lot out of him.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Kelly checks a leg kick.
Kelly went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
McWeakhands lands a lovely overhand right.
McWeakhands lands with a nice body punch.
McWeakhands misses with a double jab
and Kelly counters with a one-two to the body.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Kelly.
McWeakhands connects with a good right hand that stumbles Kelly. Kelly circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
McWeakhands works Kelly's body with a nice hook.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Kelly tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
McWeakhands throws a hook but Kelly blocks it.
McWeakhands swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Kelly.
Kelly looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Kelly cracks McWeakhands with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
A solid leg kick lands there for McWeakhands.
Kelly gets a takedown into half guard.
Kelly scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
McWeakhands tries to kick Kelly off but Kelly keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.
Kelly wants to free his trapped foot but McWeakhands is holding on for dear life with his legs.
McWeakhands makes his way to full guard. A much better position for McWeakhands.
Kelly drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Kelly jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.
Kelly stops McWeakhands from standing up.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands looking to control.
McWeakhands wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Kelly works over McWeakhands with some ground and pound from guard.
Kelly has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
McWeakhands is pulling down on Kelly's head. It's preventing any offense from Kelly, at least for the moment.
McWeakhands has his foot on Kelly's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Kelly works his way back into a safe position though.
McWeakhands working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Kelly.
Kelly scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Kelly throwing strikes but missing.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
McWeakhands is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Kelly distracts McWeakhands with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
McWeakhands lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
McWeakhands passes Kelly's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
We've been hearing good reports from Kelly's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kelly is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but McWeakhands pulls his head out easily.
Kelly looking for submissions off his back.
McWeakhands is trying to control. Kelly wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Kelly actively working from the bottom here.
McWeakhands trying to control the action but Kelly is working from the bottom.
McWeakhands trying to pass the guard but Kelly defending well.
McWeakhands controlling the action here.
McWeakhands seems to have lost interest with the ground game and is thinking about standing back up.
The fighters are battling for position here. Kelly manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Dumbass McWeakhands dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!
McWeakhands is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
McWeakhands stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and McWeakhands wants it to stay on the feet.
Kelly backing away here, and McWeakhands unleashes a leg kick that just misses.
Kelly drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be getting the better of the standup.
McWeakhands has taken the fight to the clinch.
McWeakhands pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
McWeakhands getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Kelly shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Kelly was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Van Kelly overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Kelly landing a few strikes.
McWeakhands is looking for a sweep.
McWeakhands is trying to escape and get back to his feet.
Kelly tries to get to his feet but he's trapped momentarily.
Kelly working the body and head with strikes.
That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands on the wrong end of some ground and pound.
Kelly working the head and body with strikes.
McWeakhands wants to get back to his feet.
Kelly working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
Kelly working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Kelly working away.
McWeakhands might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Kelly haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
McWeakhands is working to avoid the ground and pound but Kelly connects with a decent elbow.
McWeakhands is moving his hips around well on the bottom and has managed to get back to half guard.
Kelly scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
McWeakhands wants to get back to his feet.
McWeakhands looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Kelly lands strikes from half guard.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kelly throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
McWeakhands won't allow Kelly to pass to mount.
Kelly is working hard here to advance position.
Kelly is sneakily working for an arm triangle but McWeakhands sees it coming and defends easily.
Ground and pound from Kelly.
Kelly not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Kelly thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed McWeakhands's head.
Both fighters have adopted an aggressive gameplan on the ground!
Kelly working the head and body with strikes.
Kelly scoring with strikes to the body and head.
McWeakhands looking for submissions off his back.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kelly is thwarting McWeakhands's attempts to control the position.
Kelly is nestled in close to McWeakhands, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kelly is looking for a kimura but McWeakhands is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Kelly to get the leverage.
McWeakhands is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Kelly pulls his head out easily.
McWeakhands blocking the ground and pound attempt from Kelly.
Kelly is working for a submission of some sort.
McWeakhands is defending against the submission attempts here by Kelly.
McWeakhands is trying to stand.
Kelly is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
Kelly thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Kelly is looking for a kimura here.
Kelly working over McWeakhands with some ground and pound. McWeakhands looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
McWeakhands tries to get to full guard but Kelly has control of the leg.
Kelly prevents McWeakhands from standing back up.
Kelly is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
McWeakhands wants to control but Kelly is keeping busy and won't allow it.
McWeakhands is trying to stand back up but Kelly is controlling him
McWeakhands is trying to get back to full guard.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Kelly connects with a nice short shot to McWeakhands's temple.
McWeakhands looks like he's trying to stand up.
Kelly is nestled in close to McWeakhands, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Van Kelly dominated that second round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!
McWeakhands rushes Kelly and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
McWeakhands fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
McWeakhands lands with a short head shot on the inside.
McWeakhands escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Kelly defending well as McWeakhands loads up on a big left hand.
McWeakhands connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
McWeakhands tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Kelly shoots in looking for a takedown but McWeakhands manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Kelly's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
McWeakhands thows a left - swing and a miss!
A counter left hand to the body from Kelly misses its target.
McWeakhands lands a head kick. Kelly smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
McWeakhands misses with a hook.
McWeakhands leaves Kelly with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
McWeakhands tries a head kick but it misses.
It looked like Kelly was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands fails with an attempt to clinch.
Kelly tries to counter with a takedown but McWeakhands is quick to defend against it.
That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands throws a head kick that misses.
McWeakhands swings and misses with a hook to the body.
McWeakhands cracks Kelly with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Kelly fails with the takedown.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Van Kelly. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kelly shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has McWeakhands pinned against the cage. McWeakhands gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Kelly on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
McWeakhands looks to throw the jab but Kelly is out of range.
McWeakhands slaps away a takedown attempt from Kelly, before circling back to the center of the mat.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Nice shot by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands darts in and clinches Kelly up against the cage.
Kelly takes a shot to the head.
McWeakhands pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
McWeakhands tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Kelly was well out of range. Poor timing from McWeakhands.
Kelly shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Kelly tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. McWeakhands manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
McWeakhands connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Kelly momentarily.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A slapping leg kick lands for McWeakhands.
Kelly gets a clinch.
McWeakhands breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
McWeakhands works Kelly's body with a nice hook.
A head kick misses from McWeakhands.
Dumbass McWeakhands is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands motions for Kelly to come forward. McWeakhands throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
The fighters circle momentarily. McWeakhands darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
McWeakhands connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Van Kelly is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
McWeakhands lands a nice leg kick that just misses Kelly's sensitive parts.
Kelly ducks right into an uppercut from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands fails with an attempt to clinch.
McWeakhands swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Kelly takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Kelly tries for a takedown but McWeakhands sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
McWeakhands has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
McWeakhands scores with a punch to the head.
McWeakhands thumps Kelly with a low kick.
McWeakhands scores with a punch to the head.
McWeakhands throws a nice inside leg kick.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
McWeakhands scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
McWeakhands paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Kelly is rocked!
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Kelly.
McWeakhands throws out a counter right but Kelly avoids it with no problem.
Oh Kelly is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Kelly takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Kelly goes for a double leg but McWeakhands avoids the attempt and the two fighters end up clinched against the cage as McWeakhands continues to drive forward.
McWeakhands misses with a kick to the body.
As McWeakhands looks to move away, Kelly throws a big counter combo bu McWeakhands just gets out of the way.
Kelly seems to have got his legs back now.
Nice jab there from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands digs a good hook to Kelly's body.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kelly takes one to the chin there.
McWeakhands fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
McWeakhands scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Kelly doesn't seem bothered though.
Kelly has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Kelly there as he acknowledges the shot.
And that's the end of the fight!
Dumbass McWeakhands comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think McWeakhands has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Dennis scores the fight 27:29
Judge Stewart Dunkirk scores the fight 27:29
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 27:29
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dumbass McWeakhands!
A relieved looking Dumbass McWeakhands thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
55% |
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