PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Datu Puti (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Biggus Dickus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Puti
vs
Dickus

190 cm
18
250 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

200 cm
18
280 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Basic striking
Cuts easily

BJJ White Belt
Brawler
Tends to cut

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Datu Puti!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Biggus Dickus!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Frank Antenori and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Puti scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Puti fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Dickus.
Dickus throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Puti cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Puti lands a nice looking body kick.
Puti bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Dickus takes a swing at Puti's ribcage but misses.
Puti lands a nice leg kick that just misses Dickus's sensitive parts.
A good leg kick by Puti.
Puti clobbers Dickus with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Dickus throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Puti sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Puti closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Dickus misses with a hook
and Puti counters with a nice body kick.
Puti throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Dickus fails to land with a series of punches.
Puti bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Dickus misses the shot to the body.
Puti lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Puti fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Dickus has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Puti.
Dickus throws a body shot but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
And Puti counters with a quick kick to the body but Dickus blocks it.
Puti throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Puti works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Dickus throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Good standup being displayed there by Puti as he connects with a hook.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Puti connects with a leg kick. Dickus looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Puti throws a head kick that half lands.
Dickus throws a looping overhand right but Puti ducks down to avoid it.
Puti buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Dickus throws a hook to the side of Puti's head but Puti sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Puti connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Dickus stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Puti.
Dickus drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dickus stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.

It looks like Datu Puti has been cut.
Dickus tries to move into range but Puti moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Dickus takes a swing at Puti's ribcage but misses.
Dickus's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Dickus lands with a right that hurts Puti. Puti looks to clinch but Dickus throws a short knee that drops Puti. This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:59 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch and Knee). Biggus Dickus!
Biggus Dickus seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.