PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Josiah Bartlet (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Napoleon Dynamite (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bartlet's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Gary Numan- Praying to the Alien. I don't know about you partner, but I'm pumped for this one!

Bartlet
vs
Dynamite

170 cm
29
166 lbs
17 - 7 - 2

178 cm
33
168 lbs
24 - 16 - 2

Great wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Spartan Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 7 - 2, fighting out of Montreal, Josiah Bartlet!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 16 - 2, fighting out of London, Napoleon Dynamite!
The judges for this bout are James Glass, Paul Tew and James Ackerman.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dynamite lands a jab.
Dynamite takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Bartlet doesn't manage to clinch there - Dynamite circles away.
And Dynamite responds with a good body kick, but Bartlet manages to step out the way in time.
An inside leg kick from Dynamite misses.
Bartlet fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Dynamite manages to avoid it.
Bartlet looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Bartlet tries to clinch but Dynamite is having none of it.
We've been hearing reports that Bartlet has been drilling takedowns in recent sessions so let's see if that has an impact on the result of this fight.
Bartlet tries to land a front kick but Dynamite steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Dynamite swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Bartlet.
Dynamite misses with an uppercut. Bartlet saw that one coming.
Decent striking displayed by Dynamite there.
Dynamite tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Bartlet misses with a left hand
letting Dynamite counter with a right hand.
Dynamite feints and then cracks Bartlet's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Bartlet down.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Bartlet takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Bartlet looking to land some kicks to the body here.

Bartlet scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.
Dynamite wants to improve his position but Bartlet is controlling well.
Bartlet thows a huge punch but Dynamite dodges it nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bartlet thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Dynamite's head.
Dynamite is trying to control but can't.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dynamite keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Bartlet prevents Dynamite from improving his position.
Bartlet missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
Bartlet has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Bartlet takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Bartlet is in the full mount, landing strikes.
Dynamite is in all sorts of trouble here.
The crowd growing excited in anticipation of a finish here! Right on cue, Bartlet cracks his opponent with a massive right hand that draws loud cheers!
Dynamite tries to lock up and control but Bartlet gives him a forearm to the face and pushes him away.
Bartlet dominating with strikes here.
Bartlet looking to control but Dynamite is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Bartlet unloading with bombs!
Bartlet cracks Dynamite with a nasty head shot there - the crowd let out an audible gasp there, as the noise reverberated around the arena.
Dynamite looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
A nice elbow there by Bartlet.
Dynamite is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Bartlet misses with a head shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Bartlet lands a nice shot to the head.

Dynamite is rocked!
Bartlet postures up and lands a whopping elbow - oh that's hurt Dynamite bigstyle! Two more strikes land for Bartlet and the fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:31 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Josiah Bartlet!
Josiah Bartlet decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.