PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Conway Titties (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Simon Berg (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Berg is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: 2Pac - Hail Mary. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Titties
vs
Berg

175 cm
19
185 lbs
2 - 2 - 0

183 cm
20
186 lbs
2 - 2 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid boxing
Cardio machine

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent boxer
Experienced

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of New York, Conway Titties!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Simon Berg!
The judges for this bout are Reed Andrews, Russell Pearce and Lou da Vinci.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Titties misses the shot to the body.
Berg throws a low kick but it's checked well by Titties.
Berg throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Titties throws a quick inside leg kick.
Berg throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.

It looks like Conway Titties has been cut.
Berg looks to land a combination but Titties avoids it well.
Berg keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Berg pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Titties back to the cage. Berg follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Titties goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Berg misses with a few strikes there.
Berg shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Berg scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Titties looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Titties throws a sloppy head kick and Berg moves out of range easily.
Berg throws a counter combo.
An inside leg kick from Berg misses.
Berg throws a one two combo.
Berg throws a combination that misses
and Titties counters with a thumping low kick.
Berg connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Berg scores with a nice right hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Titties looks to score with a jab to the body but Berg is just out of range.
No joy there for Berg, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Berg showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Titties.
Berg uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Titties.
Berg lands a glancing blow to the side of Titties's head.
Titties misses with a looping right.
A looping hook to the body misses from Titties. Berg does a little dance to reset his feet.
Titties looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Berg cracks Titties with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Berg's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Berg duly obliges.
Titties looks to score with a jab to the body but Berg is just out of range.
Berg lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Berg avoids a kick to the body.
Simon Berg seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Berg wants to slow Titties down by chopping away at his legs.
Berg throws a nice looking combination but Titties bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Berg misses with a wild combination.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Nice jab there from Berg.
Berg pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Titties back to the cage. Berg follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Berg tries a low kick but Titties avoids it.
Berg misses with a double jab.
Titties goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Titties fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Berg manages to avoid it.
Berg throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Titties.
Titties throws a big counter combination but Berg scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
Berg has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Titties fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Titties misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Berg misses with a body kick.
Titties misses with a body kick.
No joy there for Titties, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Berg throws a front kick aimed at Titties's knee but Titties avoids it well.
Berg attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Berg fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Titties throws the left hand but Berg avoids the punch easily.
Titties pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Berg throws a head kick that misses.
Berg tries a head kick but it misses.
Berg throws a series of strikes that have Titties backpedaling.
Berg is looking to slow Titties down with leg kicks.
Titties throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Berg fails to land with a series of punches.
Berg throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Berg throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Titties throws a quick counter kick to the body but Berg avoids it.
Berg dips to his left and cracks Titties with an uppercut!
Titties misses with a hook. Berg ducked under it nicely.
Berg throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
As Berg looks to move away, Titties throws a big counter combo but Berg just gets out of the way.
Titties goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Titties dodges the punch combination from Berg.
Berg scores with a three punch combo!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

Titties has closed the distance and engaged Berg in a clinch.
Berg is trying to break the clinch but Titties has him pressed against the cage.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Titties swings away with an uppercut that misses.

Titties breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Titties missing with a left hand there. Berg was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Berg uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Titties.
Berg throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Titties.
Berg defending well as Titties loads up on a big left hand.
Berg lands a really nice looking cross but Titties seems unphased.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
A jab from Titties does it's job there.
Titties misses with a hook.
Berg is working the combinations to good effect here.
Berg walks into a straight right hand from Titties.
Berg keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Berg raises up his leg as if looking to counter with a high kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Simon Berg dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Conway Titties's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

A bone on bone clash there as Titties blocks the leg kick.
Titties has not gone for a single takedown so far in this fight, which seems like a very strange tactic when you consider that he has the superior wrestling and BJJ.
Berg connects with a body shot that sends Titties's belly button to the back.
Titties lands a body shot.
Berg pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Titties back to the cage. Berg follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Titties misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Berg.
Berg throws a leg kick but Titties moved away.
A quick step to the side and Titties tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Berg throws a right hand that Titties ducks under and follows up with a left that Titties also avoids with ease.
Berg pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Berg shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Berg has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Titties swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Berg scores with a jab to the jaw.
Titties wants to land a leg kick but Berg is out of range.
Berg throws a leg kick
and Titties counters with a nice low kick that buckles Berg's knee momentarily.
Berg lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Titties showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Berg.
Titties dodges the punch combination from Berg.
Titties is looking to wear down Berg with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Berg misses with a hook. Titties ducked under it nicely.
Berg throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Titties half committed to a counter leg kick.
Titties throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Berg looks to land a combination but Titties avoids it well.
A little feinted left hand from Titties on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Titties throws a predictable looking body shot
and Berg counters with a series of strikes. Titties will be more careful next time no doubt.
Berg keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Titties uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Berg.
Berg walks into a jab.
Titties lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Titties takes one on the button.
Titties misses with a kick to the body
and Berg counters with a series of strikes. Titties will be more careful next time no doubt.
Titties looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Berg looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Some wild striking there from Berg.
Berg misses with a series of wild punches.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Titties throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Titties misses with a body kick.
A countering left hand to the body from Berg misses.
A low kick from Berg misses
and Titties counters with a right hand to the body.
Berg is breathing heavily.
Berg motions for Titties to come forward. Berg throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Berg tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Titties was well out of range. Poor timing from Berg.
Titties throws a body punch but Berg moves out of range.
Berg lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Titties circles away quickly and effectively.
Titties quickly followed up with a counter body kick but doesn't connect.

Titties gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
A bit of stalling here from Titties.
Berg leaning his opponent against the cage.
Titties has a couple of punches blocked by Berg.

Titties escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Berg throws a sloppy head kick and Titties moves out of range easily.
Titties throws a leg kick but Berg sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Titties checks a leg kick nicely.
A decent looking cross lands there for Berg.
Titties pivots, looking for a leg kick but Berg is out of range and Titties settles back down.
Berg throws a series of punches but Titties moves out of range.
Titties scores with a leg kick.
Titties swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Berg lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Berg!
Simon Berg is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Titties looks to score with a jab to the body but Berg is just out of range.
Berg lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Titties circles away quickly and effectively.

Titties clinches up with Berg and pushes him back against the cage.
Titties is struggling to control the position.
Berg blocking some punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Berg working hard to break the clinch.
A head punch on the inside from Titties fails to land.
Berg blocking some punches.
Titties has Berg pressed against the cage, preventing Berg from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Titties.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Titties goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Berg is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Berg blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Titties has Berg pressed against the cage, preventing Berg from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Titties swings wildly with an uppercut but Berg uses good head movement to avoid it.
Berg wants to get back to striking at distance but Titties won't allow it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Simon Berg showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Conway Titties's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. Let's get this one finished - here comes the final round!

Berg fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Titties checks it well.
Berg swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Titties counters with a nice body shot.
Titties pivots, looking for a leg kick but Berg is out of range and Titties settles back down.
That kick from Berg tenderised Titties's leg. Titties is trying to keep his angry face on.
Berg connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Titties momentarily.
Titties lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Berg's corner calls for a 1-2. Berg obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Berg lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Berg.
Titties misses with a kick to the body.
Berg takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Titties misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Berg tries to bum rush Titties with a series of wild strikes but Titties uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
A left lands for Berg.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Berg scores with a three punch combo!
Berg checks a leg kick.
Berg misses with the combination.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Berg slips under a jab from Titties.
As Titties backs off Berg throws a huge counter combo but Titties manages to avoid it all.
Titties cracks the inside of Berg's front leg.
Berg attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Berg misses with a wild combination.
Titties looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
Berg throws a leg kick
and Titties counters with a nice uppercut.
Titties showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Berg.
Berg throws a right and a left that both miss.
Titties was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Berg takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Titties loads up on a big right hand but Berg slips the punch.
Berg throws out a counter right but Titties avoids it with no problem.
Titties fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Simon Berg seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Berg tries to land a leg kick but Titties saw it coming and moves away.
Berg lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Titties circles away quickly and effectively.
Titties slips a jab and a cross from Berg.
Titties appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Titties fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Berg looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Titties tries to land a front kick but Berg steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Conway Titties has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Titties paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Titties throws a right and a left that both miss.
Titties takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Titties motions for Berg to come forward. Titties throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Titties lands with a thumping leg kick.
Titties cracks Berg with an open hand slap.

Berg is rocked!
Berg with a jab.
Berg is still on wobbly legs! Can Titties finish him?
Berg looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Berg seems to have recovered his senses.
Titties tried to score with a low kick but Berg checks it.
Titties lands with a shot to the body.
Titties waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Berg.
Titties ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Berg moves away.
Titties cracks the inside of Berg's front leg.
Some wild striking there from Berg.
Berg looks for the body kick but Titties saw that one coming.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Titties checks a leg kick.
Titties takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Titties tries to land a front kick but Berg steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Titties ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Berg moves away.
Berg looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Berg moves out of range of the body kick.
BOOM! Titties lands a beautiful left hook that drops Berg. Berg tries to recover but Titties is having none of it, landing more punishing shots from mount. One final crushing shot and Berg lies motionless on the canvas. The fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:29 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Conway Titties!
A relieved looking Conway Titties thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.