PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Ragnar Hjelmslev (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Viggo Heitannan (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Hjelmslev comes to the cage accompanied by I Touch Myself. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Hjelmslev
vs
Heitannan

182 cm
39
180 lbs
22 - 16 - 0

175 cm
25
175 lbs
11 - 9 - 0

Good wrestling
Dangerous knees
Very quick

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 22 - 16 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Ragnar Hjelmslev!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Viggo Heitannan!
The judges for this bout are Gregory Folan, William Peck and Elvis Blanc.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Good work by Heitannan as he checks the leg kick.
Hjelmslev scores with a jab. Heitannan acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Heitannan lands with a shot to the body.
Nice cross by Hjelmslev.
Heitannan jabs at Hjelmslev's body.
Heitannan throws out a loose jab but Hjelmslev uses good head movement to avoid it.
Hjelmslev throws a nice outside leg kick.
Hjelmslev takes one to the side of the head.
A left and a right from Heitannan both land. Nice combination.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Hjelmslev takes a jab right on the kisser.
Hjelmslev lands with a hook. Heitannan tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.

It looks like Viggo Heitannan has been cut.
Heitannan looks to score with a jab to the body but Hjelmslev is just out of range.
Hjelmslev is looking to slow Heitannan down with leg kicks.
Hjelmslev just misses with a punch to the body.
Heitannan walks into a left hand.
Hjelmslev paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
A looping hook to the body misses from Heitannan. Hjelmslev does a little dance to reset his feet.
Heitannan throws a leg kick that misses.
Hjelmslev needs to keep his hands up - Heitannan had a free shot at his head there.
Hjelmslev throws a sloppy head kick
and Heitannan counters with a stiff right hand.
Hjelmslev tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Heitannan was well out of range. Poor timing from Hjelmslev.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Heitannan throws a leg kick but Hjelmslev sees it coming and moves out of range.
Hjelmslev throws a nice inside leg kick.
Heitannan throws a leg kick but Hjelmslev sees it coming and moves out of range.
Hjelmslev jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Hjelmslev.
A slow jab from Hjelmslev misses its intended target.
Hjelmslev misses with a looping left.
Hjelmslev misses with a straight left.
Heitannan lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Hjelmslev throws the left hand but Heitannan avoids the punch easily.
A countering left hand to the body from Heitannan misses.
Hjelmslev bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Heitannan cracks Hjelmslev with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Hjelmslev jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Heitannan misses with a head kick.
Hjelmslev throws a hook to the side of Heitannan's head but Heitannan sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.

Heitannan lands a left and a right that send Hjelmslev crashing to the mat, dazed. Heitannan thinks about following him to the mat but decides to wave him back up to his feet!

Hjelmslev is rocked!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Hjelmslev moves out of range of the body kick.
Oh Hjelmslev is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
A big right from Hjelmslev misses.
Hjelmslev throws a hook to the side of Heitannan's head but Heitannan sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Heitannan tries to bum rush Hjelmslev with a series of wild strikes but Hjelmslev uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Hjelmslev checks a low kick from Heitannan.
Hjelmslev seems to have got his legs back now.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Heitannan fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Hjelmslev has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.

Heitannan drops Hjelmslev with a beautiful combination! Hjelmslev stares up at his opponent, who ushers him back to his feet - Heitannan is looking for the KO!
Heitannan ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Hjelmslev throws a nice outside leg kick.
Heitannan throws a body shot but no joy.
Heitannan slips under a jab.
Hjelmslev stalks Heitannan and leaps in with a furious combination of punches. Uppercuts and crosses smash into Heitannan's face. Heitannan staggers backwards, shaken.
Hjelmslev cracks Heitannan with a right hand to the side of the head.
Hjelmslev fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Heitannan looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Hjelmslev lands with a right hand.
Hjelmslev throws a big shot that misses.
Hjelmslev swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Heitannan blocks a low kick nicely.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Hjelmslev.
A leg kick checked by Heitannan.
Hjelmslev throws a series of punches but Heitannan avoids them all with ease.
Heitannan lands with a slapping head kick.
Heitannan works Hjelmslev's body with a nice hook.
Heitannan swings for the body but Hjelmslev moves out of range.
It looked like Hjelmslev wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hjelmslev connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Heitannan uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Hjelmslev.
Hjelmslev darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Hjelmslev lands a two punch combo.
Heitannan throws a body shot but no joy.
Hjelmslev throws a leg kick
and Heitannan cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Heitannan lands a jab to Hjelmslev's midsection.
Heitannan takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Hjelmslev throws a right and a left that Heitannan avoids nicely.
Hjelmslev tried to score with a low kick but Heitannan checks it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Hjelmslev throws a low kick, looking for Heitannan's leg but Heitannan calmly moves out of range.
Heitannan throws a head kick but Hjelmslev moves out of range.
Hjelmslev on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Hjelmslev lands a nice leg kick that just misses Heitannan's sensitive parts.
Heitannan keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Hjelmslev is looking to chop away at Heitannan's legs.
Heitannan tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Hjelmslev was well out of range. Poor timing from Heitannan.
Hjelmslev shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
And Heitannan responds with a good body kick, but Hjelmslev manages to step out the way in time.
Hjelmslev misses with an uppercut.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Heitannan lands a jab to the nose.
Heitannan turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Hjelmslev misses with a right hand

and Heitannan counters with a nice right hand that sends Hjelmslev toppling to the canvas! Hjelmslev scrambles and gets back to his feet - can Heitannan finish him?!
Heitannan bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Decent striking displayed by Hjelmslev there.
Heitannan ducks under a wild hook from Hjelmslev.
It seemed like Heitannan was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Heitannan throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Hjelmslev stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Hjelmslev throws a leg kick but Heitannan sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Hjelmslev throws a big shot that misses.
Heitannan with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Hjelmslev is breathing heavily.
Heitannan displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Hjelmslev throws out the jab.
Heitannan slips a straight right by Hjelmslev.
Heitannan pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
As Heitannan looks to move away, Hjelmslev throws a big counter combo but Heitannan just gets out of the way.
An inside leg kick lands from Heitannan.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Heitannan lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Hjelmslev at a distance.
Hjelmslev thuds his right hand into Heitannan's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Heitannan dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Hjelmslev swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Viggo Heitannan will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Viggo Heitannan's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Hjelmslev throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Hjelmslev throws a combination that misses
and Heitannan makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Hjelmslev misses with an uppercut. Heitannan saw that one coming.
Hjelmslev throws a hook but Heitannan avoids it easily.
A telegraphed right hand from Hjelmslev misses the target.
Hjelmslev throws a jab but it's blocked by Heitannan.
A head kick misses from Hjelmslev.

Heitannan lands a left and a right that send Hjelmslev crashing to the mat, dazed. Heitannan thinks about following him to the mat but decides to wave him back up to his feet!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Hjelmslev misses with a head kick.
A head kick misses from Heitannan.
BAM! Heitannan delivers a spinning backfist that drops Hjelmslev like a ragdoll! This is all oooooveeeer! He was out before he hit the ground!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:37 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Spinning Backfist). Viggo Heitannan!
An out of breath and clearly excited Viggo Heitannan thanked Arcticus University: London for their help and support (and free stuff they sent him).
Ragnar Hjelmslev was interviewed post fight and said 'Well that about sucks. Fuck that shit, I quit this human punching bag rap. Guess that porn star thing will come in handy as a new career.'.