PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight kickboxing rules bout between Trumps Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hakeem Lawal (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Hakeem Lawal was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Thundercunt
vs
Lawal

183 cm
25
175 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

185 cm
25
185 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

Excellent MT
Good chin

Excellent MT
Intelligent

Leviathan Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Trumps Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Hakeem Lawal!
The judges for this bout are Dirk Anderson, Peter Branson and Santiago Holmes.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lawal lands with an overhand left.
Lawal waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a quick counter head kick but Lawal was just out of range.
Lawal has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Lawal there as he acknowledges the shot.
Thundercunt seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
Hakeem Lawal seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Lawal moves out of range of the leg kick from Thundercunt.
Lawal misses with an attempted mid kick.
Thundercunt will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Lawal moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Thundercunt tried to score with a low kick but Lawal checks it.
Lawal throws a leg kick that is checked
and Thundercunt counters with a left to the body.
Lawal works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Lawal waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Thundercunt.
Thundercunt misses with an attempted mid kick.
Lawal darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Lawal throws a right hand that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a series of strikes. Lawal will be more careful next time no doubt.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Thundercunt slips a straight right by Lawal.
Thundercunt takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Thundercunt moves out of range as Lawal throws a body kick.
Lawal lands with a slapping head kick.
Lawal misses with an uppercut
and Thundercunt counters with a thumping low kick.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Thundercunt - that will leave a mark!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lawal on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Thundercunt. Thundercunt obviously looking to wear him down.
Good leg kick by Thundercunt there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Thundercunt attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Thundercunt throws a head kick that misses.
Lawal replies with a solid counter kick to the body but Thundercunt blocks it well.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Lawal, as that shot connected.
A leg kick checked by Lawal.
Lawal swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
A head kick misses from Thundercunt.
Lawal looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Thundercunt moves out of range of the body kick from Lawal.
Lawal cracks Thundercunt with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Thundercunt has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
Thundercunt tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Lawal unleashes a big counter combination but Thundercunt bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.
Lawal misses with a hook.
Lawal attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Thundercunt throws a head kick that misses.
Lawal lands with a thumping leg kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Lawal has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt tries to close the distance and clinch up against the ropes but Lawal paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Thundercunt tries a head kick but it misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lawal looks for the body kick but Thundercunt saw that one coming.
Thundercunt throws a looping overhand right but Lawal ducks down to avoid it.
The fighters circling - Thundercunt throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Lawal! But no joy.
Lawal throws a head kick that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a nice low kick that buckles Lawal's knee momentarily.

Thundercunt moves into the clinch.
Thundercunt fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Lawal with a knee to the head.
With the fighters clinched against the ropes, Thundercunt creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Lawal tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Thundercunt avoids it.
Thundercunt lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Thundercunt lands a hook to the side of the head.
Thundercunt looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Lawal scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Thundercunt misses with the head strike.
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt managing to block the knees to the body from Lawal.
Thundercunt misses with an elbow over the top.
Thundercunt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the ropes.
Lawal swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Thundercunt creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Lawal lands an uppercut.
A battle for position here, against the ropes.
Thundercunt throws an elbow but it misses.
Thundercunt throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Thundercunt struggles to land a body shot inside as Lawal controls his hands.
Thundercunt digs a right hand underneath Lawal's ribcage. Lawal let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Thundercunt working some nice short punches in the clinch.
A shot in the inside from Thundercunt.
Lawal is trying to push Thundercunt away but Thundercunt has him pressed against the ropes, so he's going nowhere.
Lawal lands a knee to the head.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Thundercunt as Lawal tries to tie him up.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A frustrated look appears on Lawal's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Good body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Thundercunt lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Lawal backwards.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A short right hand to the side of the head by Thundercunt.
Lawal will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Thundercunt up against the ropes.
Thundercunt lands a left hand that snaps the head of Lawal backwards.
Thundercunt works on Lawal's body with a couple of short punches.
Thundercunt is working Lawal over against the ropes.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Lawal lands a left hand that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.

Lawal breaks the clinch.
Thundercunt cracks Lawal with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the ropes.
Thundercunt throws a wild combination but nothing lands.

Thundercunt clinches up against the ropes.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Trumps Thundercunt dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Lawal lands a front kick.
Thundercunt throws a solid leg kick but Lawal takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Thundercunt.
Thundercunt ducks under a wild hook from Lawal.
Thundercunt quickly followed up with a counter body kick but doesn't connect.
Thundercunt takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
As Lawal backs away, Thundercunt returns fire with a leg kick that just misses.
Nice body kick there by Lawal.
Thundercunt throws a low kick, looking for Lawal's leg but Lawal calmly moves out of range.
Lawal throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
A telegraphed right hand from Lawal misses the target.
Thundercunt is looking to counter punch.
Thundercunt throws a low kick, looking for Lawal's leg but Lawal calmly moves out of range.
Lawal pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Thundercunt misses with a looping right.
Lawal thuds his right hand into Thundercunt's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lawal throws out a powerful jab.
Thundercunt moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
A head kick misses from Thundercunt.
Lawal buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Lawal lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
This has been an exciting period of action!
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Thundercunt checks a leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lawal is looking to slow Thundercunt down with leg kicks.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Lawal misses with a right hand
enabling Thundercunt to counter with a crisp jab.
Thundercunt tries to clinch up against the ropes, rushing in to close the distance. Lawal manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch
and Lawal counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
A nice inside leg kick there by Lawal. That's going to slow Thundercunt down.
Thundercunt tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Thundercunt pivots, looking for a leg kick but Lawal is out of range and Thundercunt settles back down.
Nice body kick there by Lawal.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Thundercunt lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Lawal has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Lawal and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Lawal misses with a straight left.
Thundercunt throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Lawal looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Lawal fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Thundercunt checks it well.
Thundercunt looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Thundercunt connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Hakeem Lawal seems to be getting the better of the standup.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Lawal.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lawal lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Lawal pushes Thundercunt away with a front kick.
Thundercunt fails to land with a series of punches.
Thundercunt fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Lawal wants to slow Thundercunt down by chopping away at his legs.
Lawal is looking to score with low kicks.
Thundercunt lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Thundercunt looks to throw the jab but Lawal is out of range.
Thundercunt attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Lawal blocks a low kick nicely.
Lawal lands with a slapping head kick.
Lawal throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Thundercunt thows a left - swing and a miss!
Thundercunt checks a leg kick nicely.
Thundercunt throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Lawal sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Lawal throws the left hand but Thundercunt avoids the punch easily.
Thundercunt takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lawal throws a leg kick but Thundercunt sees it coming and moves out of range.
Thundercunt will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Thundercunt takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Thundercunt pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Thundercunt drops his hands momentarily and Lawal takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Lawal takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Lawal avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Thundercunt throws a lazy right hand but Lawal sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Lawal lands a glancing blow to the side of Thundercunt's head.
Thundercunt tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Lawal ducks under a wild hook from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt moves out of range of the body kick.
Thundercunt closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Thundercunt misses with a body shot.
Thundercunt lands a lovely overhand right.
Lawal blocks a head kick by Thundercunt.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Lawal looking to land some kicks to the body here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt blocks the body kick.
Thundercunt takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Thundercunt slips a jab and a cross from Lawal.
Lawal goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Lawal misses with an uppercut. Thundercunt saw that one coming.
A quick step to the side and Thundercunt tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
The fighters circle momentarily. Lawal darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Thundercunt tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Lawal was well out of range. Poor timing from Thundercunt.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a sloppy head kick and Lawal moves out of range easily.
Thundercunt misses with a low kick as Lawal jumps back.
Thundercunt tries a low kick but Lawal avoids it.
Lawal thuds his shin into the meat of Thundercunt's side.
Lawal connects with an inside leg kick.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Lawal on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Thundercunt. Thundercunt obviously looking to wear him down.
Lawal throws a quick inside leg kick.
Lawal throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Thundercunt sees it coming and avoids it easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Hakeem Lawal showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!

Thundercunt throws a hook but Lawal avoids it easily.
Thundercunt fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Lawal manages to avoid it.
Lawal throws out a counter right but Thundercunt avoids it with no problem.
Lawal lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Lawal throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Lawal throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Lawal walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Thundercunt checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Thundercunt looks to land a body kick but Lawal moved away.
Thundercunt throws the kick towards the body but Lawal avoids it.
Thundercunt throws a head kick but Lawal moves out of range.
Thundercunt chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Lawal can pounce on him.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Lawal moves away.
Lawal's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lawal finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Lawal scores with a nice body kick.
Thundercunt takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
A good leg kick by Lawal.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws a low kick, looking for Lawal's leg but Lawal calmly moves out of range.
Nice defenses there by Thundercunt.
Lawal walks into a jab.
Thundercunt will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
Nice body kick from Lawal.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a sloppy head kick and Lawal moves out of range easily.
Thundercunt darts in trying to clinch
and Lawal connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Lawal fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Thundercunt has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Thundercunt checks a low kick from Lawal.
Lawal cracks Thundercunt with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the ropes.
Thundercunt lands an overhand right.
Thundercunt avoids the head kick by Lawal.
Thundercunt connects with a right hand. Lawal shakes it off.

Lawal is rocked!
Lawal misses with a hook. Thundercunt ducked under it nicely.
Lawal is still on wobbly legs! Can Thundercunt finish him?
Lawal clobbers Thundercunt with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Lawal lands a front kick.
Lawal seems to have recovered his senses.
Thundercunt slips under a jab from Lawal.
Thundercunt attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Thundercunt sees a low kick coming and goes to check it, but it's actually a body kick and it thuds into his unprotected ribs.
A jab from Thundercunt finds it's way through Lawal's defenses.
Thundercunt lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Lawal circles away quickly and effectively.
Thundercunt looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Lawal feints a counter leg kick.
An inside leg kick lands from Lawal.
A leg kick checked by Lawal.
Thundercunt throws an overhand right that lands on Lawal's shoulder, as Lawal tries to avoid the shot.
Lawal throws a right hand that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a body kick that brings a smile to the face of both fighters.
Lawal takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Thundercunt throws a head kick but Lawal moves out of range.
Thundercunt fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Lawal manages to avoid it.
Lawal scores with a jab.
Lawal staying out of range there.
Thundercunt lands a glancing blow to the side of Lawal's head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt looks to land a right hand but Lawal moved out of range.
Thundercunt tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Lawal is able to avoid easily.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Lawal! But no joy.
Lawal checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Lawal connects with a jab.
Lawal moves out of range of the leg kick from Thundercunt.
Lawal lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Lawal thumps Thundercunt with a low kick.
Lawal sizes up Thundercunt with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Thundercunt walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Lawal shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Lawal throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Thundercunt scores with a jab to the body.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the side of Lawal's head but Lawal sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
The fight stays on the outside here - Thundercunt looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Good exchange - Thundercunt coming out on top.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Thundercunt fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Ohhhhhhhhhh, brutal head kick from Thundercunt! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:16 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Trumps Thundercunt!
As Trumps Thundercunt got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: I love Mexicans'.