PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Dick Army (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kane Shaam (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Army comes to the cage accompanied by Vagina Coastguard. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Kane Shaam was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Army
vs
Shaam

189 cm
25
200 lbs
17 - 7 - 0

189 cm
25
200 lbs
7 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Excellent grappler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Dick Army!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Kane Shaam!
The judges for this bout are Cecil Peabody, Alan Glass and Wesley Smith.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Army avoids the head kick by Shaam.
Shaam looks to throw the jab but Army is out of range.
Shaam keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Shaam swings widly with a right hand
and Shaam takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Shaam moves out of range as Army strikes.
Army looks to score with a jab to the body but Shaam is just out of range.
Shaam ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Army moves away.
It looked like Army was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Shaam.
Shaam scores with a kick to the midsection.
Army avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A slow jab from Shaam misses its intended target.
The fighters circling - Shaam throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Army throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Army misses with the body kick
and Shaam counters with a nice low kick that buckles Army's knee momentarily.
Shaam walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Army throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Shaam looks to land a right hand but Army moved out of range.
Shaam uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Army has time to react.
Shaam fakes the leg kick and cracks Army in the body.
Shaam throws out a powerful jab.
Army lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
A jab from Army misses.
Shaam swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Army checks a low kick from Shaam.
We've been told by Army's head coaches at LOD-Guts & Glory Gym that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Army closes the distance and lands a one-two.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A head kick by Army misses
and Shaam counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Shaam throws a body shot but no joy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Army drops Shaam with a beautiful combination! Shaam stares up at his opponent, who ushers him back to his feet - Army is looking for the KO!

Shaam is rocked!

It looks like Kane Shaam has been cut.
Dick Army is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Look low, kick high! Army uses the oldest trick in the book to send Shaam tumbling to the canvas, in a truly brutal knockout! Army is absolutely delighted - when Shaam wakes up, I doubt he'll be quite so happy!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:14 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Dick Army!
During a confident post fight interview, Dick Army thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.