PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Kim Jong Un (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Rastaphan Dominatrix (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jong Un comes into the arena with Aegukka blaring out of the sound system. Dominatrix comes into a darkened arena with his song building. "Trenches" by Pop Evil kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! On his way into the cage it seems that Kim Jong Un has been attacked by a crazed fan! It looks like it might have been the just bleed guy! Luckily Kim Jong Un seems to be OK! I thought that lunatic was in prison!?

Jong Un
vs
Dominatrix

186 cm
25
207 lbs
17 - 4 - 0

190 cm
33
215 lbs
27 - 12 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

KAISER Nutrition - Q160/$250

King of Fists

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Kim Jong Un!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 12 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Rastaphan Dominatrix!
The judges for this bout are Dillan Fox, William Peck and Gregory Folan.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jab from Dominatrix.
Jong Un misses with a jab to the body
and Dominatrix counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Dominatrix will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
A big left from Dominatrix misses.
Jong Un is looking to counter punch.
Jong Un explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Jong Un fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Dominatrix manages to avoid it.
A big left from Dominatrix misses.
Dominatrix swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Dominatrix has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Dominatrix shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Jong Un is trying to defend but Dominatrix finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Jong Un tries to roll over but Dominatrix keeps him under control.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jong Un keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Dominatrix sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Jong Un defending well though.
Dominatrix throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
Dominatrix with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Dominatrix thows a huge punch but Jong Un dodges it nicely.
Jong Un desperately trying to maintain half guard.
Jong Un taking some punishment here, with Dominatrix in his half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jong Un blocking the ground and pound attempt from Dominatrix.
Jong Un avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Dominatrix.
Dominatrix thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Jong Un's head.
Dominatrix perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Let's hope that Dominatrix has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.
Jong Un wants to improve his position but Dominatrix is controlling well.
Jong Un keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Jong Un taking some punishment here, with Dominatrix in his half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dominatrix wants to control but Jong Un is keeping him busy.
Dominatrix with the ground and pound but Jong Un uses the opportunity to regain guard.
Dominatrix throwing strikes from guard but Jong Un blocks nicely.
Dominatrix scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Dominatrix loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Dominatrix content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Jong Un is trying to control the position but Dominatrix postures up.
Dominatrix content to stall in guard here.
Jong Un keeping full guard, as Dominatrix tries to pass.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jong Un wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Dominatrix loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Jong Un looking to sweep using the butterfly guard but Dominatrix puts pay to that idea as he passes nicely into half guard.
Dominatrix has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Dominatrix throwing shots but Jong Un is blocking nicely.
Dominatrix wants to lay and pray for a moment but Jong Un keeps working.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Jong Un keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Dominatrix trying to control from Jong Un's half guard. Jong Un has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Rastaphan Dominatrix dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Dominatrix misses with a body shot.
Jong Un keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
It looked like Jong Un was looking amped, ready to throw a big counter but didn't commit.
Dominatrix fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Jong Un avoids it really well and circles away.
Dominatrix throws a sloppy body shot
enabling Jong Un to counter with a crisp jab.

It looks like Rastaphan Dominatrix has been cut.
Jong Un lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jong Un swings for the body but Dominatrix moves out of range.
Dominatrix throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Jong Un sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Dominatrix throws a body shot but no joy.
Rastaphan Dominatrix seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dominatrix throws a looping overhand right but Jong Un ducks down to avoid it.
Jong Un throws a body punch but Dominatrix moves out of range.
Dominatrix throws a lazy right hand but Jong Un sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Jong Un tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Dominatrix was well out of range. Poor timing from Jong Un.
Jong Un misses with the combination.
Jong Un needs to keep his hands up - Dominatrix had a free shot at his head there.
Dominatrix scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Rastaphan Dominatrix seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Jong Un takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.

Jong Un is rocked!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A nice inside leg kick there by Jong Un. That's going to slow Dominatrix down.
Oh Jong Un is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Dominatrix closes the distance and lands a vicious right hand that drops Jong Un! Dominatrix dives in looking to finish! Jong Un is still trying to defend himself but he's taking too many shots and the referee has no choice but to stop the fight!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:16 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Rastaphan Dominatrix!
A very excited looking Rastaphan Dominatrix rambled incoherently for about 5 minutes post fight about how awesome he is. It was kinda funny for a while but then everyone got annoyed.
In defeat, Kim Jong Un stepped up to the mic, saying 'Saboteurs!'.