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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between John Brown (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Douche Pillowhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). John Brown is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.
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| 180 cm
28
177 lbs
13 - 16 - 1 |
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175 cm
32
172 lbs
22 - 15 - 1 |
Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine |
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Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
13 - 16 - 1, fighting out of New York, John Brown!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
22 - 15 - 1, fighting out of Los Angeles, Douche Pillowhands!
The judges for this bout are Robert Douchet, William Peck and Gregory Folan.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A jab from Brown misses.
A jab from Brown finds it's way through Pillowhands's defenses.
Brown shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Brown was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Brown taking a breather here.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Brown has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Brown has had enough of the ground for now and decides to stand.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A head kick misses from Brown.
Pillowhands feints the counter takedown.
Brown tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Pillowhands changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Brown swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Brown throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Pillowhands gets caught flat footed, as Brown shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
Pillowhands keeping moving, preventing Brown from controlling successfully.
Brown not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Brown connects with a couple of short punches.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Brown looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Pillowhands keeping full guard, as Brown tries to pass.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Pillowhands is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
Brown stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Pillowhands swivels though and keeps the full guard.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pillowhands pulls Brown in close to prevent any damage.
The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Pillowhands sees a low kick coming and goes to check it, but it's actually a body kick and it thuds into his unprotected ribs.
Brown looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
Pillowhands keeping full guard, as Brown tries to pass.
Brown looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Brown wants to pass the guard but Pillowhands is keeping the position.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Brown missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Pillowhands keeping full guard, as Brown tries to pass.
Brown content to stall in guard here.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Brown seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Pillowhands for as long as he can get away with.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
John Brown dominated that round.
That's time! Brown's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.
A big right from Brown misses.
Brown jabs at Pillowhands's body.
Brown scores with a jab to the head.
Brown tests Pillowhands's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Brown forces Pillowhands back against the cage and clinches.
Brown is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Pillowhands can do to turn this around?
Pillowhands tightens his grip and picks Brown up, before dumping him to the ground. Brown manages to land in guard.
Pillowhands looking to pass the guard.
Brown working for submissions but it's allowed Pillowhands to get to half guard.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Brown is staying active underneath Pillowhands, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Brown wants to get back to full guard.
Brown wants to control but Pillowhands is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Pillowhands trying to control from half guard but Brown is working away.
Brown has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Pillowhands is working away from the top position though.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Brown desperately trying to maintain half guard.
The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Brown finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Pillowhands avoids the head kick by Brown.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Brown pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Brown throws a low kick but it's checked well by Pillowhands.
Pillowhands displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Brown throws out the jab.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Brown misses with a hook. Pillowhands ducked under it nicely.
Brown throws a body shot but no joy.
Pillowhands changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Pillowhands ducks right into an uppercut from Brown.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
A head kick misses from Brown.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Brown pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Brown shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Pillowhands is trying to keep Brown in close.
Brown trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
John Brown overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Brown working some strikes from top position.
Brown is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Pillowhands is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Pillowhands trying to control the position.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Brown trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
We must be close to a standup if these guys don't pick up the pace.
The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Pillowhands blocks a head kick by Brown.
Pillowhands feints the counter takedown.
Brown tries a head kick but it misses.
Pillowhands changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Pillowhands takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Brown is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Pillowhands's half guard.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Brown not doing much here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
John Brown dominated that second round.
That's time! Brown's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!
Pillowhands blocks a head kick by Brown.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Brown avoids it easily.
Pillowhands slips a straight right by Brown.
Pillowhands drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Brown defends it well.
Nice defenses there by Pillowhands.
Brown throws a head kick but Pillowhands moves out of range.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Brown throws a lazy uppercut
and Pillowhands counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by Pillowhands.
Brown has Pillowhands pulled in close to control his posture.
Brown is trying to control the position from the bottom.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Pillowhands won't allow Brown to sweep him here.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Brown is working hard here to advance position.
Pillowhands wants to control from the top but Brown keeps moving.
Brown has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
Pillowhands is stalling in the full guard.
The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Douche Pillowhands has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Douche Pillowhands is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Brown connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Brown throws a sloppy head kick and Pillowhands moves out of range easily.
Brown looks to score with a jab to the body but Pillowhands is just out of range.
Pillowhands drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Brown defends it well.
Pillowhands avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Pillowhands checks a leg kick.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Brown pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Brown pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Pillowhands slips under a jab.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Brown pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Brown misses with an uppercut. Pillowhands saw that one coming.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Brown tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Pillowhands feints the counter takedown.
Pillowhands tries to keep at a distance but Brown has taken the fight into the clinch.
Brown gets double underhooks and manages to take the fight to the ground.
Brown looking to pass the guard.
Pillowhands keeping moving, preventing Brown from controlling successfully.
Brown controlling from the top position.
Pillowhands has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Brown sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Pillowhands's guard.
Pillowhands trying to control but Brown postures up.
Brown is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Pillowhands is trying to get back to full guard.
And that's the end of the fight!
John Brown showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Brown has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Robert Douchet scores the fight 30:26
Judge William Peck scores the fight 30:26
Judge Gregory Folan scores the fight 30:26
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... John Brown!
Our winner, John Brown, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.
The defeated Douche Pillowhands had this to say: 'I'm not sure where to go from here? Do I keep fighting?'.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
27% |
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