PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Thoreaux AssKicken (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Darth Sidious (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). AssKicken's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, 5 finger death punch: Bad Company. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

AssKicken
vs
Sidious

190 cm
22
217 lbs
4 - 0 - 1

180 cm
22
204 lbs
13 - 4 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Powerful

Lion Fightwear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Thoreaux AssKicken!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Darth Sidious!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A jab from Sidious does it's job there.
A shot to the body from Sidious misses
and AssKicken counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
AssKicken fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Sidious looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
A telegraphed right hand from Sidious misses the target.
Sidious throws an ugly left hook that misses
and AssKicken counters with a left to the body.
Sidious swings for the body but AssKicken moves out of range.
A punch lands to the side of Sidious 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Sidious throws a body shot but no joy.
AssKicken definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
AssKicken feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Sidiouss jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Sidious moves out of range of the strikes.
AssKicken swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Sidious misses the shot to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Sidious throws a hook but AssKicken avoids it easily.
AssKicken with a nice cross.

That's one minute gone in the round.
AssKicken smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.

Sidious is rocked!
Sidious blocks a jab.
A slow jab from Sidious misses its intended target.
Sidious lands a lovely overhand right.
AssKicken throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A telegraphed right hand from Sidious misses the target.
Sidious swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Sidious showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from AssKicken.
A big right from AssKicken misses.
Sidious is clearly trying to counter these attacks from AssKicken with a body shot.
AssKicken is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
AssKicken has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Sidious finds it's way round the side to connect with AssKicken's head.
AssKicken throws a body punch but Sidious moves out of range.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts AssKicken, as that shot connected.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken misses with a few strikes there.
Sidious looks like he wants to counter punch here.
AssKicken avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
AssKicken is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Sidious throws an off balance right hand
and AssKicken counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Sidious moves out of range of the strikes.
AssKicken takes a swing at Sidious's ribcage but misses.
AssKicken throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
AssKicken throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
A shot to the liver by AssKicken. Beautiful body shot.
AssKicken keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
AssKicken is looking for a counter combo.
AssKicken throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Sidious counters with a nice uppercut.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Sidious, as that shot connected.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sidious wants to clinch up but AssKicken keeps it at a distance.
Sidious just misses with a punch to the body.
A quick step to the side and AssKicken tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by AssKicken.
AssKicken on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Sidious dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
AssKicken ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Sidious avoids the body shot from AssKicken.
Sidious lands a jab.
A jab from AssKicken misses.
AssKicken takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Sidious is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! AssKicken had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Sidious misses with an uppercut. AssKicken saw that one coming.
A little feinted left hand from AssKicken on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken lands a really nice looking cross but Sidious seems unphased.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
AssKicken swings and misses with a hook to the body.
AssKicken cracks Sidious with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
AssKicken dips to his left and cracks Sidious with an uppercut!
Sidious misses with an uppercut. AssKicken saw that one coming.
Sidious misses with a body shot
and Sidious takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
AssKicken misses with a left hand
and Sidious counters with a straight right hand.
AssKicken cracks Sidious with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Sidious is still on wobbly legs! Can AssKicken finish him?
AssKicken uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Sidious.
Sidious swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Sidious slips a jab and a cross from AssKicken.
AssKicken lands an uppercut out of nowhere! Sidious falls backwards - clearly groggy! AssKicken dives in and finishes the fight with more strikes for a TKO finish!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Thoreaux AssKicken!
Thoreaux AssKicken retains his light heavyweight title!
Thoreaux AssKicken decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.