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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between I Dare You To Spam Takedowns (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Swollen Piss Bladder (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Swollen Piss Bladder told me before the fight that he's been watching a lot of DVDs so let's see if that helps him in this one! I can't wait to find out!
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| 177 cm
25
155 lbs
2 - 0 - 0 |
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178 cm
18
158 lbs
1 - 0 - 0 |
BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin |
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BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, I Dare You To Spam Takedowns!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Swollen Piss Bladder!
The judges for this bout are Cecil Peabody, Gwen Towbar and Alan Glass.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Piss Bladder looks to score with a jab to the body but To Spam Takedowns is just out of range.
To Spam Takedowns swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Piss Bladder.
To Spam Takedowns takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
To Spam Takedowns takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
A swing and a miss from Piss Bladder.
To Spam Takedowns throws a jab when Piss Bladder was well out of range.
Piss Bladder takes a swing at To Spam Takedowns's ribcage but misses.
Piss Bladder throws a shot from downtown. To Spam Takedowns moves away and avoids it.
To Spam Takedowns throwing a counter right hand but Piss Bladder manages to avoid it.
Piss Bladder connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
To Spam Takedowns keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Piss Bladder misses the body punch
and To Spam Takedowns connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Piss Bladder scores with a body shot.
Piss Bladder misses with a body shot
letting To Spam Takedowns counter with a right hand.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Piss Bladder throws a body shot but no joy.
Piss Bladder connects with a body shot that sends To Spam Takedowns's belly button to the back.
Piss Bladder throws the left hand but To Spam Takedowns avoids the punch easily.
To Spam Takedowns keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Piss Bladder.
To Spam Takedowns throws a big counter combination but Piss Bladder scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
Piss Bladder moves into range and throws a lovely three punch combination.
Piss Bladder fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Piss Bladder ducks down and throws a hook to the body but To Spam Takedowns moves away.
A little feinted left hand from To Spam Takedowns on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
To Spam Takedowns moves away from the strike by Piss Bladder.
To Spam Takedowns on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
To Spam Takedowns ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Piss Bladder missing with a left hand there. To Spam Takedowns was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Swollen Piss Bladder seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
To Spam Takedowns displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Piss Bladder throws out the jab.
To Spam Takedowns throwing a counter right hand but Piss Bladder manages to avoid it.
To Spam Takedowns tries for a takedown but Piss Bladder sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Piss Bladder ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
To Spam Takedowns throws a looping overhand right but Piss Bladder ducks down to avoid it.
Piss Bladder uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Piss Bladder takes a swing at To Spam Takedowns's ribcage but misses.
Piss Bladder swings and misses with a shot to the body
and To Spam Takedowns counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Piss Bladder misses the body punch
and To Spam Takedowns counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Piss Bladder thows a left - swing and a miss!
To Spam Takedowns throwing a counter right hand but Piss Bladder manages to avoid it.
Piss Bladder misses with a body shot.
To Spam Takedowns swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Piss Bladder throws a poor cross that misses
and To Spam Takedowns counters with a nice uppercut.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piss Bladder misses with a few strikes there.
To Spam Takedowns ducks under a wild hook from Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder looks to score with a jab to the body but To Spam Takedowns is just out of range.
Jab from Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
A slow jab from Piss Bladder misses its intended target.
Piss Bladder swings and misses with a shot to the body
and To Spam Takedowns counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by To Spam Takedowns.
To Spam Takedowns won't allow Piss Bladder to sweep him here.
To Spam Takedowns stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Piss Bladder swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Piss Bladder wants to sweep here but To Spam Takedowns controlling him for the moment.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Piss Bladder lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
To Spam Takedowns has a closed guard, preventing Piss Bladder from standing up.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
To Spam Takedowns is controlling Piss Bladder's posture.
Piss Bladder preventing the sweep.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Swollen Piss Bladder dominated that round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.
To Spam Takedowns uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
To Spam Takedowns takes a jab right on the kisser.
We've been informed that Piss Bladder has been working hard on his conditioning in the buildup to the fight.
Piss Bladder misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from To Spam Takedowns.
To Spam Takedowns is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Piss Bladder tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but To Spam Takedowns was well out of range. Poor timing from Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps To Spam Takedowns's head backwards.
Piss Bladder cracks To Spam Takedowns with a good jab.
To Spam Takedowns avoids the body shot from Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder fakes high and swings low for a body shot but To Spam Takedowns manages to avoid it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
To Spam Takedowns just misses with a punch to the body.
Nice uppercut lands for Piss Bladder. That snapped To Spam Takedowns's head back.
Decent striking displayed by Piss Bladder there.
Piss Bladder fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
That's one minute gone in the round.
To Spam Takedowns fails to land the takedown.
To Spam Takedowns misses with a hook. Piss Bladder ducked under it nicely.
It seemed like Piss Bladder was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Piss Bladder scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Piss Bladder misses the shot to the body.
To Spam Takedowns throws a big counter combination but Piss Bladder scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
Piss Bladder misses with a wild body shot.
Piss Bladder scores with a nice right hand.
Piss Bladder fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
To Spam Takedowns looks to throw the jab but Piss Bladder is out of range.
To Spam Takedowns takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Piss Bladder scores with a nice strike.
To Spam Takedowns lands with a nice body punch.
Swollen Piss Bladder seems to be getting the better of the standup.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Piss Bladder ducks down and throws a hook to the body but To Spam Takedowns moves away.
Piss Bladder scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
The fighters circle momentarily. Piss Bladder darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
A cross from Piss Bladder lands.
Piss Bladder ducks down and throws a hook to the body but To Spam Takedowns moves away.
Piss Bladder scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Piss Bladder moves out of range of the strikes.
The fighters circle momentarily. To Spam Takedowns darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
To Spam Takedowns closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
To Spam Takedowns takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
To Spam Takedowns fails to land the takedown.
Piss Bladder looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piss Bladder throws an overhand right that lands on To Spam Takedowns's shoulder, as To Spam Takedowns tries to avoid the shot.
To Spam Takedowns lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Piss Bladder circles away quickly and effectively.
Piss Bladder looks to score with a jab to the body but To Spam Takedowns is just out of range.
Piss Bladder lands a nice hook to To Spam Takedowns's body. To Spam Takedowns takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Piss Bladder lands with a nice body punch.
To Spam Takedowns drops his hands momentarily and Piss Bladder takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Piss Bladder fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
To Spam Takedowns looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Piss Bladder lands with a nice body punch.
Piss Bladder misses with a hook.
A little feinted left hand from To Spam Takedowns on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Piss Bladder connects with a looping right hand.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Piss Bladder works the jab nicely.
To Spam Takedowns waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but To Spam Takedowns was well out of range. Poor timing from Piss Bladder.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
To Spam Takedowns closes this distance looking for a takedown but Piss Bladder circles away.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for I Dare You To Spam Takedowns. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
To Spam Takedowns avoids the body shot from Piss Bladder.
It looked like To Spam Takedowns wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Piss Bladder lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.
To Spam Takedowns walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Piss Bladder misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from To Spam Takedowns.
A looping hook to the body misses from Piss Bladder. To Spam Takedowns does a little dance to reset his feet.
To Spam Takedowns was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Piss Bladder throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Piss Bladder misses with a wild body shot.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Swollen Piss Bladder showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!
Piss Bladder lands the left hand.
Piss Bladder tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but To Spam Takedowns was well out of range. Poor timing from Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder connects with a body shot that sends To Spam Takedowns's belly button to the back.
Piss Bladder scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. To Spam Takedowns doesn't seem bothered though.
Piss Bladder throws a good cross that connects.
To Spam Takedowns displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Piss Bladder throws out the jab.
An attempted straight right counter from To Spam Takedowns misses the target.
Piss Bladder lands a straight punch to the body, keeping To Spam Takedowns at a distance.
Piss Bladder throws a body punch but To Spam Takedowns moves out of range.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
To Spam Takedowns lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Piss Bladder jabs at To Spam Takedowns's body.
Piss Bladder throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Piss Bladder misses with a body punch
and To Spam Takedowns counters with a nice uppercut.
The fighters circle momentarily. To Spam Takedowns darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
The fighters circling - To Spam Takedowns throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Piss Bladder cracks To Spam Takedowns with a good jab.
Jab, jab by Piss Bladder - just one landing.
Piss Bladder missing with a left hand there. To Spam Takedowns was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Piss Bladder misses with a hook
letting To Spam Takedowns counter with a right hand.
Piss Bladder lands with a straight right. To Spam Takedowns didn't see that one coming.
A jab from Piss Bladder misses.
To Spam Takedowns is looking to counter punch.
Piss Bladder thuds a left hand into To Spam Takedowns's body.
To Spam Takedowns throws a series of punches but Piss Bladder moves out of range.
Swollen Piss Bladder is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
To Spam Takedowns is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Piss Bladder.
Swollen Piss Bladder is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Piss Bladder throws a big shot that misses.
A little feinted left hand from To Spam Takedowns on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Piss Bladder misses with a lunging right hand
enabling To Spam Takedowns to counter with a crisp jab.
To Spam Takedowns shoots in for a takedown but Piss Bladder shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Piss Bladder swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Piss Bladder jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Piss Bladder throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
I Dare You To Spam Takedowns has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Piss Bladder misses the shot to the body.
To Spam Takedowns swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Piss Bladder just misses with a punch to the body.
To Spam Takedowns is looking for a counter combo.
To Spam Takedowns's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Piss Bladder connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! To Spam Takedowns scrambles back to his feet.
Piss Bladder scores with a shot to the body.
Decent striking displayed by Piss Bladder there.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piss Bladder ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Piss Bladder lands with a hook. To Spam Takedowns tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Piss Bladder lands a body shot.
Nice shot lands for Piss Bladder.
To Spam Takedowns takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Piss Bladder connects with a single shot there.
Piss Bladder throws a sloppy body shot
and To Spam Takedowns counters with a three punch combo that has Piss Bladder backing up. Piss Bladder nods at To Spam Takedowns to acknowledge the strikes.
Piss Bladder lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Piss Bladder listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Piss Bladder keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Danga de danga de dang - Piss Bladder scores with a four punch combination!
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Piss Bladder lands an overhand right.
Piss Bladder thuds his right hand into To Spam Takedowns's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Piss Bladder clobbers To Spam Takedowns with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Piss Bladder slips under a jab from To Spam Takedowns.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Piss Bladder! But no joy.
Piss Bladder throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
A little feinted left hand from To Spam Takedowns on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Nice uppercut there from Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Piss Bladder misses with a body shot.
To Spam Takedowns uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Piss Bladder.
Piss Bladder jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
And that's the end of the fight!
Swollen Piss Bladder comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Piss Bladder winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Cecil Peabody scores the fight 27:30
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 27:30
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 27:30
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Swollen Piss Bladder!
An out of breath Swollen Piss Bladder thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.
I Dare You To Spam Takedowns spoke after the fight, saying 'I lost, but I can take solace in the fact that it took someone named PISS BLADDER managed by A LITERAL FART MASTER to beat me.
Real recognize real. '.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
65% |
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