PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Darth Sidious (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Thoreaux AssKicken (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). AssKicken comes into a darkened arena with his song building. 5 finger death punch: Bad Company kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Sidious
vs
AssKicken

180 cm
24
204 lbs
15 - 8 - 0

190 cm
25
215 lbs
8 - 3 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Aspire Clothing
Aspire Nutrition

Aspire Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Darth Sidious!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 3 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Thoreaux AssKicken!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Timothy Bukovac and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
AssKicken throws a shot from downtown. Sidious moves away and avoids it.
Sidious tries to counter by clinching up but AssKicken breaks away and moves out of range.
Good work by Sidious as he checks the leg kick.
Sidious swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
AssKicken tries to land a front kick but Sidious steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Sidious throws a sloppy head kick and AssKicken moves out of range easily.
Thoreaux AssKicken seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

AssKicken looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
AssKicken wants to pass the guard but Sidious is keeping the position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
AssKicken passes Sidious's right leg, so he's now in half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sidious is looking for a sweep. AssKicken is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Sidious won't allow AssKicken to pass to mount.
Sidious is in trouble now - AssKicken has advanced to mount!
Sidious tries to reverse the position but AssKicken maintains control.
Sidious stops AssKicken from taking his back. Still, being mounted isn't any better.
Sidious tries to hold on but AssKicken pushes him away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken wants to take Sidious's back but he can't do it this time.
AssKicken wants to take his opponent's back but instead Sidious manages to regain half guard.
Sidious trying to hold on to AssKicken's head to control him but AssKicken postures up.
AssKicken trying to pass the guard but Sidious defending well.
Sidious wants to control but AssKicken is keeping busy.
AssKicken trying to control from half guard but Sidious is working away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken wants to pass the guard but Sidious is defending well.
Sidious is trying to get back to full guard.

AssKicken is trying to work for a kimura but Sidious is defending well.
AssKicken tries to pass to full mount but Sidious defends it.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
AssKicken throws the left hand but Sidious avoids the punch easily.
A leg kick checked by Sidious.
AssKicken lands a slapping body shot.
AssKicken throws a big shot that misses.
AssKicken uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Sidious.
AssKicken misses with a left hand
and Sidious counters with a leg kick.
Sidious steps to the side to avoid the strikes from AssKicken.
Sidious was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Sidious throws an ugly left hook that misses
and AssKicken counters with a low kick, right behind Sidious 's knee.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Sidious swings widly with a right hand
and AssKicken counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
AssKicken fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Sidious checks it well.
AssKicken throws a big shot that misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thoreaux AssKicken dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

AssKicken fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Sidious manages to avoid it.
AssKicken just misses with a punch to the body.
Good leg kick by AssKicken there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
AssKicken scores with a hook to the body. Sidious takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
AssKicken loads up on a big right hand but Sidious slips the punch.
Sidious checks a leg kick.
Sidious thinks about countering with a body kick.
AssKicken slips under a jab from Sidious.
AssKicken steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Sidious.
Sidious misses with a body shot
and AssKicken counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Sidious swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
AssKicken unleashes a big counter combination but Sidious bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.
Sidious scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
AssKicken looks to score with a jab to the body but Sidious is just out of range.
Sidious connects with a body shot that sends AssKicken's belly button to the back.
Thoreaux AssKicken seems to be getting the better of the standup.
AssKicken clobbers Sidious with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sidious ducks under a wild hook from AssKicken.
Sidious lands a nice shot to the body.
AssKicken changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Sidious rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and AssKicken cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
AssKicken throws a right hand that misses
and Sidious counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Sidious moves out of range of the body kick from AssKicken.
AssKicken throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Sidious looks to land a right hand but AssKicken moved out of range.
Nice defenses there by Sidious.
Sidious listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
A lazy left from AssKicken finds it's target.
AssKicken throws a body shot but no joy.
A little feinted left hand from Sidious on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Sidious misses the target.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Sidious lands a front kick.
Sidious ducks under a wild hook from AssKicken.
AssKicken blocks a head kick by Sidious.
Sidious throws a looping overhand right but AssKicken ducks down to avoid it.
AssKicken lands a nice looking body shot.
AssKicken misses with a straight left.
Nice defenses there by AssKicken.
Sidious tries a head kick but it misses.
AssKicken shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Sidious but Sidious pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Sidious moves out of range as AssKicken strikes.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken misses with a jab to the body
and AssKicken takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
AssKicken misses with a low kick as Sidious jumps back.
As AssKicken tries to get set, Sidious tries to push him back and clinch up but AssKicken manages to avoid the attempt.
Good leg kick by Sidious there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
AssKicken blocks a head kick by Sidious.
A cross from AssKicken lands.
AssKicken throws the kick towards the body but Sidious avoids it.
AssKicken looks to land a left hand but Sidious moved out of range nicely.
AssKicken uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Sidious.
AssKicken slips under a jab from Sidious.
Sidious ducks under a wild hook from AssKicken.
Sidious waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract AssKicken.
Sidious looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Sidious walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
AssKicken throws a push kick but Sidious slaps the foot to one side.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Sidious fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Good work by Sidious as he checks the leg kick.
AssKicken just manages to avoid a counter high kick fromSidious.
AssKicken lands with a thumping leg kick.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Sidious changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Sidious throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
AssKicken throws a hook but Sidious blocks it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Sidious. AssKicken does a little dance to reset his feet.
A decent looking cross lands there for AssKicken.
AssKicken circles away from the clinch attempt
and AssKicken counters with a lovely straight right hand!
AssKicken does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Thoreaux AssKicken will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's time! Sidious's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. And we move into the final round!

Sidious will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
AssKicken scores with a jab to the head.
AssKicken throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Sidious.
Sidious throws out a loose jab but AssKicken uses good head movement to avoid it.
A jab from AssKicken misses.
Sidious misses with a body shot.
A swing and a miss from Sidious.
AssKicken tried to score with a low kick but Sidious checks it.
Sidious lands a nice looking body shot.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Sidious takes the fight into the clinch.
A head punch blocked on the inside by AssKicken.
Sidious lands an elbow inside that AssKicken shrugs off.
Sidious lands a left hand that snaps the head of AssKicken backwards.
AssKicken has been the more effective fighter overall so far.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sidious tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
AssKicken misses with a shot to the kidneys.
AssKicken lands a nice uppercut.
AssKicken lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Sidious backwards.
Sidious lands an elbow just above AssKicken 's eye.
Sidious takes a shot to the head.
AssKicken misses with a punch on the inside.
Sidious pushes off an throws an elbow but AssKicken leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
AssKicken misses with some punches.
Sidious goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Sidious looks to throw an elbow but misses.
AssKicken throws a head punch that misses.
AssKicken blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Sidious stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Sidious lands an uppercut.
Sidious tries to work over AssKicken's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Darth Sidious has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Sidious blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Sidious can't find room to land a body shot as AssKicken controls the action.
Sidious doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
AssKicken is working for takedown but Sidious is calmly controlling the position for now.
Sidious throws a blind hook that connects with the side of AssKickens head.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
AssKicken misses with a hook from the clinch.
AssKicken throws a punch but it's blocked by Sidious.
AssKicken has dropped down and is looking to force the takedown but it's defended by Sidious after a bit of a struggle.
Sidious softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Sidious misses with an elbow over the top.
AssKicken doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
AssKicken misses with a body punch.
Sidious lands a damaging elbow.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Sidious just misses with a elbow thrown towards AssKicken's brow.
Sidious lands an elbow that stopped AssKicken in his tracks for a moment.

It looks like Thoreaux AssKicken has been cut.
Sidious works on AssKicken's body with a couple of short punches.
AssKicken takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Sidious lands a nice elbow.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken struggles to land a body shot inside as Sidious controls his hands.
A short right from Sidious on the inside.
Sidious throws an elbow that misses.
AssKicken has a couple of punches blocked by Sidious.
Sidious blocks a punch to the side of the head.
AssKicken lands on the inside with an uppercut.
AssKicken tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Sidious tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
AssKicken lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Sidious throws an elbow but it misses.
AssKicken misses with some punches.
Sidious tried to land a shot to the body but connects with AssKicken's elbow.
Sidious lands a left hand.
AssKicken tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Darth Sidious has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Thoreaux AssKicken.
Sidious tries to work over AssKicken's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Sidious lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of AssKicken backwards.

AssKicken is rocked!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Sidious pushes off an throws an elbow but AssKicken leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
AssKicken is still on wobbly legs! Can Sidious finish him?
Sidious misses with a punch on the inside.
Sidious throws an elbow that misses.
Sidious throws an elbow that misses.
Sidious fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Sidious misses with an elbow over the top.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Sidious creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
AssKicken has been looking to improve his clinch game in recent weeks. Sidious seems to have the measure of him in the clinch so far, so let's see if AssKicken can turn it around.
Sidious swings away with an uppercut that misses.

Sidious breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Both fighters step back and shake their arms out. Sidious engages and cracks AssKicken with a massive lead left hook - AssKicken tumbles to the floor, out cold! What a shot! Sidious is delighted - all that hard work in training paid off!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:17 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Darth Sidious!
Darth Sidious gave a mention to Aspire Clothing in his post fight interview. That will please them (and hopefully generate some sales).