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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dick Dastardly (ranked 4586 p4p, 148 weight class) and Brock Lesnar (ranked 24150 p4p, 243 weight class). Dastardly's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Face down on the ground-by DROWNING POOL. Brock Lesnar is the more experienced fighter, so let's see if that makes a difference tonight.
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| 199 cm
25
286 lbs
1 - 0 - 0 |
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150 cm
19
300 lbs
1 - 5 - 0 |
BJJ White Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Prefers standup |
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BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Heavy handed |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Dick Dastardly!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
1 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Brock Lesnar!
The judges for this bout are Lou da Vinci, Reed Andrews and Franklyn Lucas.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lesnar rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Dastardly moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Dastardly moves out of range of the strikes.
Lesnar throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Lesnar looks to land a combination but Dastardly avoids it well.
Lesnar rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Dastardly moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Lesnar throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Lesnar misses with a combination
and Dastardly counters with an outside leg kick.
Lesnar misses with an uppercut
and Dastardly cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Nice body punch from Dastardly.
Dastardly scores with a body shot.
Lesnar needs to keep his hands up - Dastardly had a free shot at his head there.
Lesnar looks to land a combination but Dastardly avoids it well.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Lesnar swings widly with a right hand
and Dastardly counters with a body kick.
Lesnar looks winded!
Lesnar swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Dastardly paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Dastardly lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Dastardly throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Lesnar throws a series of punches but Dastardly moves out of range.
Lesnar misses with a double jab
and Dastardly finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
A jab from Lesnar misses.
Lesnar throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Dastardly counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Dastardly, right into the meat.
Lesnar throws a jab but it's blocked by Dastardly.
Lesnar throws a lazy uppercut
and Dastardly counters with an inside leg kick.
Nice defenses there by Dastardly.
Lesnar misses with a jab, cross combination.
A swing and a miss from Lesnar.
An attempted straight right counter from Dastardly misses the target.
Dastardly staying out of range there.
Lesnar doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Dastardly dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Dastardly is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Dastardly pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Lesnar back to the cage. Dastardly follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Lesnar throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Dastardly sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Dastardly looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.
Lesnar looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dastardly lands a nice leg kick that just misses Lesnar's sensitive parts.
Lesnar takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Dastardly showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Lesnar.
Dastardly throws a big counter combination but Lesnar scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
A nice combination there by Dastardly.
Dastardly throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Dastardly scores with a head kick.
Lesnar misses with a straight right.
Dastardly changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Brock Lesnar seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Dastardly uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Lesnar.
Lesnar is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Dastardly lands with a good body shot.
Lesnar misses with a looping right.
Lesnar looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Dastardly slips a jab and a cross from Lesnar.
Lesnar misses with a looping left.
Dastardly comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sloppy strikes from Lesnar. Those never looked like landing.
Jab, jab by Dastardly - just one landing.
Dastardly thumps Lesnar with a low kick.
Dastardly thuds his right hand into Lesnar's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Sloppy strikes from Lesnar. Those never looked like landing.
Dastardly could do with losing a few pounds - he looks very soft around the mid section, to put it politely.
A nice combination there by Dastardly.
Dastardly ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Lesnar swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Dastardly dodges the punch combination from Lesnar.
Lesnar takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Nice defenses there by Dastardly.
We've been informed that Lesnar has been working hard on his conditioning in the buildup to the fight.
A nice leg kick lands there from Dastardly.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dastardly moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lesnar misses with an uppercut. Dastardly saw that one coming.
Dastardly half committed to a counter leg kick.
Lesnar on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Lesnar misses with a few strikes there.
Lesnar walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Dastardly cracks Lesnar with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Lesnar swings widly with a right hand
and Dastardly counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Dastardly thuds a left hand into Lesnar's body.
Lesnar throws a shot from downtown. Dastardly moves away and avoids it.
Dastardly uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Lesnar.
Lesnar throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Dastardly counters with a low kick, right behind Lesnar 's knee.
Dastardly works Lesnar's body with a nice hook.
Dastardly smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Dastardly throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Lesnar swinging wildly here.
Dastardly is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Dick Dastardly dominated that round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.
A shot to the liver by Dastardly. Beautiful body shot.
Dick Dastardly is winning the standup battle so far.
Dastardly takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
It looks like Dick Dastardly has been cut.
Dastardly moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Lesnar throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Lesnar swinging wildly here.
Dastardly connects with a good right hand that stumbles Lesnar. Lesnar circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Dastardly takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Lesnar might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Lesnar throws a jab when Dastardly was well out of range.
Lesnar misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Dastardly - that will leave a mark!
Lesnar takes one on the chin but seems OK.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Decent striking displayed by Dastardly there.
Lesnar is breathing heavily.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Dastardly, right into the meat.
Dastardly scores with a jab to the body.
That's one minute gone in the round.
No joy there for Lesnar, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Dastardly goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Lesnar sees a low kick coming and goes to check it, but it's actually a body kick and it thuds into his unprotected ribs.
Dastardly throws a nice outside leg kick.
Dastardly lands a jab to the head.
Lesnar's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Lesnar loads up on a big right hand but Dastardly slips the punch.
Dastardly quickly followed up with a counter body kick but doesn't connect.
The fighters circling - Lesnar throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Dastardly misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Dastardly is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Lesnar throws a hook but Dastardly blocks it.
Dastardly was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Dastardly thuds a left hand into Lesnar's body.
Dastardly slips a jab and a cross from Lesnar.
Dastardly lands a jab.
Brock Lesnar is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Lesnar throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Dastardly sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Dastardly showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Lesnar.
Dastardly throws a shot to the body.
Lesnar has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dastardly lands with a nice combination. Lesnar backs away looking to recover.
Dastardly lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Dastardly.
Lesnar throws a shot from downtown. Dastardly moves away and avoids it.
Lesnar misses with a hook
and Dastardly counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
A nice inside leg kick there by Dastardly. That's going to slow Lesnar down.
Lesnar throws a shot from downtown. Dastardly moves away and avoids it.
Lesnar takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Dastardly steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Lesnar.
Dastardly is looking for a counter combo.
Dastardly has not gone for a single takedown so far in this fight, which seems like a very strange tactic when you consider that he has the superior wrestling and BJJ.
Lesnar on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Lesnar takes one on the button.
Dastardly with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Lesnar misses with a hook
letting Dastardly counter with a right hand.
Lesnar throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Dastardly sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Dastardly was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Lesnar might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Dastardly has got the better of the exchanges.
Dastardly misses with a double jab.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dastardly slips a jab from Lesnar.
An attempted straight right counter from Dastardly misses the target.
Dastardly lands a nice shot to the body.
Dastardly looks to land a combination but Lesnar avoids it well.
Lesnar misses with a combination
and Dastardly counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Lesnar takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Dastardly slips a jab and a cross from Lesnar.
Dastardly misses with a wild combination.
Dastardly lands with a thumping leg kick.
Lesnar misses with a wild combination.
Lesnar just manages to avoid a counter high kick fromDastardly.
Dastardly dips to his left and cracks Lesnar with an uppercut!
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lesnar throws a shot from downtown. Dastardly moves away and avoids it.
Dastardly slips a jab and a cross from Lesnar.
Dastardly moves away from the strike by Lesnar.
Dastardly was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Dastardly throws a good cross that connects.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A slow jab from Lesnar misses its intended target.
Dastardly slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Lesnar throws a right and a left that Dastardly avoids nicely.
Lesnar throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Dastardly counters with a stiff right hand.
Lesnar takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Dastardly is working the combinations to good effect here.
Dastardly is looking to slow Lesnar down with leg kicks.
Lesnar shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Dastardly ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Lesnar with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Dastardly to score with a decent uppercut.
Lesnar jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Lesnar stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Dastardly.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Dick Dastardly dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Dick Dastardly's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!
Dastardly lands with an overhand left.
Dastardly is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Lesnar can do to turn this around?
Lesnar looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Dastardly sizes up Lesnar with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Lesnar throws a hook but Dastardly avoids it easily.
Lesnar misses with a hook
and Dastardly counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Lesnar fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Dastardly cracks the inside of Lesnar's front leg.
Dastardly looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Lesnar is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Dastardly.
Dastardly scores with a head kick. Lesnar tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Lesnar rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Dastardly moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Dastardly lands a nice shot that snaps Lesnar's head back.
Lesnar takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Lesnar fails to land with a series of punches.
Dastardly throws a big counter combination but Lesnar scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Lesnar throws an off balance right hand
and Dastardly connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Dastardly scores with a leg kick.
Lesnar swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
And Dastardly counters with a quick kick to the body but Lesnar blocks it.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Dastardly moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Lesnar takes one to the chin there.
Dastardly thows a body kick. Lesnar tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Lesnar rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Dastardly moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Dastardly connects with a solid leg kick.
Jab from Dastardly.
Dastardly scores with a one two! Lesnar had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
Lesnar swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
A slow jab from Lesnar misses its intended target.
Lesnar walks into a left hand.
Lesnar throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Dastardly.
Dastardly is looking for a counter combo.
Dastardly scores with a sloppy right hand. Lesnar should have avoided that one.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dastardly connects with a jab.
Lesnar misses with a double jab.
Lesnar has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Dastardly.
Lesnar walks into a left hand.
Brock Lesnar has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lesnar takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Dastardly lands a nice shot to the body.
Lesnar misses with a double jab.
Lesnar throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Dastardly counters with an inside leg kick.
Lesnar steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Dastardly. That one must have hurt.
Dastardly lands a body shot.
Dastardly scores with a three punch combo!
Lesnar throws a right and a left that Dastardly avoids nicely.
Dastardly lands a glancing blow to the side of Lesnar's head.
Dastardly lands a jab.
Dastardly misses with a series of wild punches.
Lesnar lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dastardly scoring well with a low kick there.
Lesnar throws the left hand but Dastardly avoids the punch easily.
Dastardly throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
Dastardly lands a jab to Lesnar's midsection.
Dastardly rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Lesnar moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
A lazy left from Lesnar finds it's target.
Lesnar swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Lesnar misses with a lunging right hand
and Dastardly counters with a one-two to the body.
Dastardly scoring well with a low kick there.
Dastardly connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Lesnar shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Lesnar looks to throw the jab but Dastardly is out of range.
Lesnar swinging wildly here.
Dastardly cracks the inside of Lesnar's front leg.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dastardly clobbers Lesnar with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Dastardly slips a jab and a cross from Lesnar.
Lesnar misses with a looping right.
Lesnar throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Dastardly sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Dastardly lands a nice shot to the body.
Lesnar pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Lesnar throws a lazy right hand but Dastardly sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Lesnar pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Lesnar throws a left and a right that both miss
and Dastardly counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Lesnar throws a lazy uppercut
and Dastardly counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Dastardly is looking to slow Lesnar down with leg kicks.
Lesnar on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Dastardly. Dastardly obviously looking to wear him down.
Lesnar misses with a double jab.
And that's the end of the fight!
Dick Dastardly showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Dastardly has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Lou da Vinci scores the fight 30:27
Judge Reed Andrews scores the fight 30:27
Judge Franklyn Lucas scores the fight 30:27
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dick Dastardly!
Dick Dastardly decided to hype himself up post fight. It was going well but he went on about it a bit too long and the crowd turned on him a little.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
90% |
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