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Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between FannyPack SissyPants (ranked 431 p4p, 17 weight class) and Lolipo Slider (ranked 933 p4p, 25 weight class). SissyPants comes to the cage accompanied by Scooters. Buckle up people - heeeeeeeeeere we go!



194 cm
30
268 lbs
21 - 6 - 0
187 cm
30
220 lbs
14 - 7 - 0
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine
Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank


Urban Fighter


Bullet Proof System


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 21 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, FannyPack SissyPants!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Lolipo Slider!
The judges for this bout are Stewart Dunkirk, Frank Dennis and Gwen Towbar.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
SissyPants connects with a body shot.
Slider lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
SissyPants misses with a body shot.
Nice defenses there by Slider.
Slider tries to counter with a clinch but SissyPants shakes him off and moves away.
Slider defending well as SissyPants loads up on a big left hand.
We've been informed that Slider has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Slider thumps SissyPants with a low kick.
Slider uses good head movement to avoid the hook from SissyPants.
SissyPants dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
SissyPants dips to his left and cracks Slider with an uppercut!


It looks like Lolipo Slider has been cut.
Nice body punch from Slider.
SissyPants throws an off balance right hand
and Slider counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
A left and a right from SissyPants both land. Nice combination.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Slider lands a right hook to the body.
SissyPants cracks a nice hook into Slider's ribs.
Slider displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as SissyPants throws out the jab.
Slider avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
SissyPants takes one on the chin but seems OK.
SissyPants throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Slider throws a shot from downtown. SissyPants moves away and avoids it.
Slider cracks SissyPants with a good jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
SissyPants scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Slider sizes up SissyPants with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
SissyPants dips to his left and cracks Slider with an uppercut!
Slider dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on SissyPants. That did some damage!
Slider stuns SissyPants with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Slider ducks down and throws a hook to the body but SissyPants moves away.
SissyPants is looking to counter punch.
FannyPack SissyPants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Slider ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Slider takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Slider feints and then cracks SissyPants's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow SissyPants down.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

SissyPants cracks Slider with a big right hand that sends him to the floor! Slider looks wobbly but he's sprung back up to his feet straight away… can SissyPants finish him?


Slider is rocked!
SissyPants throws a looping overhand right but Slider ducks down to avoid it.
Slider swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Slider throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
SissyPants is looking to counter punch.
Slider slips under a jab.
Slider throws a jab but it's blocked by SissyPants.
Slider moves away from the strike by SissyPants.
Slider tries to clinch up.
Slider cracks SissyPants with a right hand to the side of the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Slider slips under a jab.
Slider misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from SissyPants.
SissyPants ducks right into an uppercut from Slider.
Slider misses with a looping right.
SissyPants catches Slider with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Slider lands a head shot.
SissyPants throws a left and a right that both miss
and Slider counters with a straight right hand.
A combination from SissyPants does no damage.
Slider misses with a straight left.
SissyPants throws a right and a left that Slider avoids nicely.
Slider looks to land a right hand but SissyPants moved out of range.
It looked like SissyPants wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.

SissyPants drops Slider with a hook right on the temple. He thinks about going to the ground but Slider looks back up at him and smiles so SissyPants waves him back to his feet - he obviously thinks he can knock him out after that shot landed.

SissyPants cracks Slider with a big right hand that sends him crashing to the floor. SissyPants has the opportunity to follow him to the ground but instead he's beckoning Slider to stand back up!
Slider is still on wobbly legs! Can SissyPants finish him?
SissyPants throws a lazy right hand but Slider sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Slider uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from SissyPants.
Slider seems to have recovered his senses.
SissyPants throws a body shot but no joy.
Slider wants to counter with a clinch but SissyPants pushes him away.
A jab from SissyPants misses.
Slider staying out of range there.
SissyPants definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A nice leg kick lands there from Slider.
A looping hook to the body misses from Slider. SissyPants does a little dance to reset his feet.
SissyPants misses the shot to the body.
A left lands for SissyPants.
Slider walks into a straight right hand from SissyPants.
Slider keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Slider misses with a lunging right hand
and SissyPants counters with a nice uppercut.
SissyPants is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
A punch lands to the side of SissyPants 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Slider keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Left hook, right uppercut from SissyPants.
Slider dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on SissyPants. That did some damage!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Slider is looking to clinch but SissyPants is avoiding it.
SissyPants is looking to counter punch.
SissyPants misses with a wild body shot.
A jab lands there for SissyPants.
Slider throws a shot to the body.
Slider tries to move into range but SissyPants moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.

SissyPants sends Slider crashing to the mat with a devastating uppercut! SissyPants is motioning to the referee to let Slider up. He wants to try and finish this one on the feet!
SissyPants blocks a jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
SissyPants misses with a looping right.
Slider throws a shot to the body.
SissyPants throws a jab but it's blocked by Slider.
SissyPants misses with a jab to the body
and Slider counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
SissyPants moves forwards but Slider connects with a nice, crisp jab.
SissyPants looks to throw the jab but Slider is out of range.
Slider lands with a right hand.
Slider takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Slider connects with an inside leg kick.
Slider ducks under a wild hook from SissyPants.
Slider scoring well with a low kick there.
Slider dips to his left and cracks SissyPants with an uppercut!
Slider uses good head movement to avoid the hook from SissyPants.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
SissyPants lands a glancing blow to the side of Slider's head.
Nice body punch from SissyPants.
Slider connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Nice cross by Slider.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

FannyPack SissyPants dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Lolipo Slider's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.


SissyPants throws the left hand but Slider avoids the punch easily.
FannyPack SissyPants is winning the standup battle so far.
Slider throws a leg kick but SissyPants sees it coming and moves out of range.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Slider might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, SissyPants has got the better of the exchanges.
SissyPants avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
SissyPants misses with a shot to the body
and Slider counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Slider thows a left - swing and a miss!
SissyPants scores with the left hand. Slider knows he should have avoided that one.
Slider closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
SissyPants throws a hook to the side of Slider's head but Slider sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
SissyPants takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Slider throws a body shot but no joy.
SissyPants on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Slider feints and then cracks SissyPants's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow SissyPants down.
SissyPants looks to throw the jab but Slider is out of range.
Slider throws a nice looking combination but SissyPants bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Slider lands a nice looking body shot.
Slider with a jab.
Slider connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
SissyPants misses with a right hand
and Slider counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slider takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Slider loads up on a big right hand but SissyPants slips the punch.
SissyPants moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
SissyPants misses with the combination.
A little jabbing left from Slider on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Slider lands a glancing blow to the side of SissyPants's head.
We are yet to see a takedown attempt from Slider in the fight. On paper you would think he is the more dominant ground fighter so let's see if these unusual tactics pay off.
SissyPants looks to land a right hand but Slider moved out of range.
Slider scores with a nice strike.
SissyPants looks to land a left hand but Slider moved out of range nicely.
SissyPants keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
SissyPants tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Slider scores with a hook.

Oooooh!!! SissyPants has knocked Slider down with a huge combo! SissyPants steps away and waves a wobbly Slider back to his feet! This one might not go much longer!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Slider misses with a hook.
SissyPants throws a looping overhand right but Slider ducks down to avoid it.
Slider throws out a counter right but SissyPants avoids it with no problem.
SissyPants looks to land a left hand but Slider moved out of range nicely.
Slider let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A good leg kick by Slider.
Slider keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Slider throws out a counter right but SissyPants avoids it with no problem.
Slider scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.

Slider moves into the clinch.
Slider missing with knees to the body.
Slider doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
SissyPants blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Slider takes a shot to the head.
A short left from SissyPants.
Slider misses with some punches.
SissyPants looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Slider with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Slider lands a damaging elbow.
Slider lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt SissyPants or not.

SissyPants breaks from the clinch.
Slider connects with a leg kick. SissyPants looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Slider on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Slider steps to the side to avoid the strikes from SissyPants.
Nice shot lands for Slider.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Slider throws out a loose jab but SissyPants uses good head movement to avoid it.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Slider.
SissyPants throws a lazy uppercut
enabling Slider to counter with a crisp jab.
SissyPants takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Slider throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
SissyPants misses with a wild body shot.
Slider swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
SissyPants misses with a looping right.
Slider throws out a powerful jab.
SissyPants cracks Slider with an open hand slap.
SissyPants throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
SissyPants connects with a looping right hand.
SissyPants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Slider moves away.
Slider only half commits to the counter leg kick.
Slider blocks a jab.
SissyPants misses with an uppercut.
A big right from SissyPants misses.
Slider doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Slider getting the better of the striking in that exchange.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Slider slips a straight right by SissyPants.
SissyPants misses with an uppercut. Slider saw that one coming.
SissyPants misses with a looping right.
Slider dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
SissyPants getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
A solid leg kick lands there for Slider.
Slider throws a jab when SissyPants was well out of range.
SissyPants closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Slider connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
SissyPants scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
A swing and a miss from SissyPants.
SissyPants takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
SissyPants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Slider moves away.
Slider throws out a counter right but SissyPants avoids it with no problem.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
SissyPants loads up on a big right hand but Slider slips the punch.
A lazy left from Slider finds it's target.
Slider waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract SissyPants.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Lolipo Slider will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The cut man is working on Lolipo Slider's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.


Slider scores with a hook.
A big left from SissyPants misses.
SissyPants looks to land a left hand but Slider moved out of range nicely.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Slider.
SissyPants is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Slider.
A shot to the liver by Slider. Beautiful body shot.
SissyPants throws a combination that misses
and Slider counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Slider lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
SissyPants throws the left hand but Slider avoids the punch easily.
SissyPants connects with a looping right hand.
SissyPants swings widly with a right hand
and Slider counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Slider keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from SissyPants.
SissyPants has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Slider.
Slider throws a leg kick
and SissyPants counters with a lovely straight right hand!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Slider moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Slider slips under a jab.
Slider misses the jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slider fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
SissyPants jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Slider unleashes a big counter combination but SissyPants bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.
SissyPants misses with a right hand
letting Slider counter with a right hand.
A looping hook to the body misses from SissyPants. Slider does a little dance to reset his feet.
Slider scoring well with a low kick there.
Slider connects with a leg kick. SissyPants looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Slider throws a hook but SissyPants blocks it.
Slider scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
SissyPants lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Slider circles away quickly and effectively.
Slider lands a straight punch to the body, keeping SissyPants at a distance.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
SissyPants throws a lazy right hand but Slider sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
SissyPants takes one on the button.
SissyPants throws an off balance right hand
and Slider counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Nice cross by Slider.
SissyPants lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
SissyPants on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
SissyPants ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Slider connects with an inside leg kick.
SissyPants misses with a hook. Slider ducked under it nicely.
Slider tests SissyPants's chin there with a solid looking shot.
SissyPants chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Slider can pounce on him.
Slider throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Slider cracks a nice hook into SissyPants's ribs.
Slider lands a nice hook to SissyPants's body. SissyPants takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
No joy there for Slider, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Slider connects with an inside leg kick.
Slider is looking to clinch.
SissyPants throws the left hand but Slider avoids the punch easily.
Slider paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Slider is looking to chop away at SissyPants's legs.
SissyPants jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Slider misses with a two punch combination.
SissyPants loads up on a big right hand but Slider slips the punch.
SissyPants ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Slider misses with a body shot.
Slider uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by SissyPants.
SissyPants is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Slider throws out a loose jab but SissyPants uses good head movement to avoid it.
SissyPants stuns Slider with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
SissyPants throws a jab when Slider was well out of range.
SissyPants lands a nice hook to Slider's body. Slider takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
SissyPants feints a jab promting Slider to slip. SissyPants then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Slider slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
SissyPants tries to bum rush Slider with a series of wild strikes but Slider uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
SissyPants lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.

SissyPants feints and then winds up with a huge right hand that connects perfectly and sends Slider sprawling to the canvas! Slider rolls over backwards and springs off the cage and manages to regain his footing - how acrobatic! Oh, he's still wobbly - can SissyPants finish him?!
This has been an exciting period of action!
SissyPants ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Slider lands a leg kick that knocks SissyPants off balance momentarily.
Slider misses with a straight right.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Decent striking displayed by Slider there.
Slider uses good head movement to avoid the hook from SissyPants.
SissyPants throws a hook but Slider blocks it.
SissyPants misses with a looping left.
SissyPants tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Slider was well out of range. Poor timing from SissyPants.
Crunch! Slider slams his shin into SissyPants's torso.
Slider lands with a good body shot.
The fighters circling - SissyPants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
A slow jab from SissyPants misses its intended target.
Slider with a hook.
SissyPants throws a jab but it's blocked by Slider.
Slider throws a jab when SissyPants was well out of range.
SissyPants went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Slider moves out of range as SissyPants strikes.
Slider scores with a jab. SissyPants acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
SissyPants lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Slider circles away quickly and effectively.
Slider keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from SissyPants.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Lolipo Slider really dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Lolipo Slider's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!


Slider swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Slider looks to land a left hand but SissyPants moved out of range nicely.
Slider throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
SissyPants misses with a hook to the body
and Slider counters with a nice low kick that buckles SissyPants's knee momentarily.
Slider uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by SissyPants.
SissyPants misses with a straight right.
Slider dodges the punch combination from SissyPants.
SissyPants takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
SissyPants misses with a looping right.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
SissyPants throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Slider moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Slider feints and then cracks SissyPants's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow SissyPants down.
SissyPants connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
SissyPants walks into a stiff left hand from Slider.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
SissyPants cracks Slider with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slider throws a quick inside leg kick.
Slider connects with a right hand. SissyPants shakes it off.
Slider throws a shot to the body.
SissyPants throws a body shot but no joy.
Slider lands a jab to the nose.
SissyPants's legs have taken a beating and he's really slowing down as a result.
Slider throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent SissyPants stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
The fighters circling - SissyPants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Slider let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
SissyPants throws a predictable looking body shot

and Slider counters by moving into the clinch.
SissyPants lands with a left to the head.
SissyPants prevents a body shot from Slider.
Slider throws a punch but it's blocked by SissyPants.
SissyPants digs a right hand into Slider's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Slider's gas tank.
Slider is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
SissyPants working some nice short punches in the clinch.
SissyPants pushes Slider back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!

SissyPants manages to break the clinch.
Slider just misses with a punch to the body.
A big left from SissyPants misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
SissyPants wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
SissyPants lands a jab.

SissyPants drops Slider with a hook right on the temple. He thinks about going to the ground but Slider looks back up at him and smiles so SissyPants waves him back to his feet - he obviously thinks he can knock him out after that shot landed.
A solid leg kick lands there for Slider.
SissyPants scores with a body shot.
SissyPants fakes the body blow, causing Slider to drop his hands! Left hook to the temple! Slider goes stiff, and falls face first into the mat. Goodnight!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:32 of round 4, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). FannyPack SissyPants!
FannyPack SissyPants retains his super heavyweight title!
FannyPack SissyPants took to the microphone after his victory and thanked his sponsors, Urban Fighter for their support in the buildup to the fight.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
100%
 
 
 
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