PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Pillow Hands (ranked 4343 p4p, 0 weight class) and Bert Starius (ranked 6801 p4p, 0 weight class). Starius has a niggling injury. He would have liked to come in 100% fit but that's not always possible. Pillow Hands could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Bert Starius's chin.

Hands
vs
Starius

210 cm
33
260 lbs
12 - 6 - 0

180 cm
38
230 lbs
19 - 12 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Big right hand

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Pillow Hands!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 19 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Bert Starius!
The judges for this bout are Radbod Blank, Daniel Blasius and Paulsen Ambrosius.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Starius throws a lazy uppercut
and Hands counters with a stiff right hand.
Starius misses with the combination.
Hands misses with an uppercut. Starius saw that one coming.
Starius throws out a counter right but Hands avoids it with no problem.
Hands misses with an uppercut.
Hands takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Hands pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Hands lands an overhand right.
Starius rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
letting Hands counter with a right hand.
Hands throws a body shot but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Hands.
Hands throws a body shot but no joy.
Hands throws a nice looking combination but Starius bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Starius swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Hands lands an overhand right.
Hands uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Starius.
Starius throws a series of punches but Hands moves out of range.
Hands swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Starius looks winded!
Starius misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Hands.
Hands is looking to counter punch.
Hands avoids the body shot from Starius.
Hands lands with a straight right. Starius didn't see that one coming.
Starius uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Hands.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Starius is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Hands.
Starius misses with an uppercut
and Hands counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Hands swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Starius swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Hands was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Hands is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Hands takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Hands throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Starius uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Hands.
Hands sets himself, and Starius steps forward looking for the clinch! Hands avoids it this time.
Starius blocks a jab.
Hands swings widly with a right hand

and Starius counters by moving into the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Hands.
Hands tries to work over Starius's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Starius gets through Hands's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Hands struggles to land a body shot inside as Starius controls his hands.
Hands trying to stall but Starius improves his position.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Hands takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Hands tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Starius's elbow.
Hands lands a body shot in the clinch.
Starius misses with a hook from the clinch.
Starius scores with a nice hook to the head.
A right hand to the body from Starius.
Hands wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Starius works on Hands's body with a couple of short punches.
Hands looking to stall.
Hands is trying to force a seperation but Starius has the dominant position.
Hands misses with a punch to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A frustrated look appears on Hands's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Starius wants a takedown.
Still in the clinch, Starius scores with a nice short uppercut.
Hands blocking some punches.
Hands has Starius pushed against the cage.
Hands blocking some punches.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Hands as Starius tries to tie him up.
Hands looking to slow down the pace here.
Hands wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Starius tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Hands wants to break the clinch but can't.
Starius keeps control of Hands as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Hands tries to circle away but Starius has him pinned against the cage.
Hands has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Hands is looking to break free of the clinch but Starius has double underhooks.
Hands blocks an uppercut.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Pillow Hands dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Starius throws a jab when Hands was well out of range.
A cross from Hands lands.
Hands is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Starius can do to turn this around?
Hands throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Starius appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Starius is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Hands connects with a jab.
Starius misses with a straight right.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Starius throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Hands sees it coming and avoids it easily.
As Starius looks to move away, Hands throws a big counter combo but Starius just gets out of the way.
Hands walks into a jab.
Starius is breathing heavily.
Hands takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Starius drops his hands momentarily and Hands takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Starius misses with a body shot.
Hands appears to be looking for a big counter.
A looping hook to the body misses from Hands. Starius does a little dance to reset his feet.
Hands throws a shot from downtown. Starius moves away and avoids it.
Hands looks to score with a jab to the body but Starius is just out of range.
Starius misses with an uppercut. Hands saw that one coming.
The fighters circling - Hands throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Jab, jab by Starius - just one landing.
Hands walks into a straight right hand from Starius.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hands blocks a jab.
Hands lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Pillow Hands is winning the standup battle so far.
The fight stays on the outside here - Starius looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Starius displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Hands throws out the jab.
Hands swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Starius will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
A decent looking cross lands there for Starius.
Starius slips a jab from Hands.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Starius tries to clinch there but Hands circles away.
Hands throws a big shot that misses.
Hands misses with a hook. Starius ducked under it nicely.
Starius throws an off balance right hand
and Hands counters with a nice uppercut.
Hands scores with a crisp jab that stopped Starius in his tracks.
Hands dips to his left and cracks Starius with an uppercut!
Starius misses with a body shot.
An attempted straight right counter from Hands misses the target.
Hands lands a nice shot to the body.
A slow jab from Starius misses its intended target.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Starius scores with a body shot.
Starius takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Hands misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Hands connects with a body shot.
Starius keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Hands with a jab.
Hands thows a left - swing and a miss!
A looping hook to the body misses from Hands. Starius does a little dance to reset his feet.
Starius throws out a counter right but Hands avoids it with no problem.
Starius sizes up Hands with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Pillow Hands dominated that second round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Hands just misses with a punch to the body.
Bert Starius seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

Starius drives through with a really nice takedown into side control.
Hands can't do much from the bottom here.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Hands is positioning himself to get back to half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hands wants to control but Starius postures up.
Starius takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Hands on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Hands tries to get out of the position.
Starius in the domination position with Hands hanging on.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Hands struggling a bit here.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Bert Starius has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Hands moves out of range as Starius strikes.
Hands cracks Starius with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Starius connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Hands misses with a body shot.
It seemed like Starius was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Hands bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Starius's head.
Hands jabs at Starius's body.
Starius misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Starius takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Hands feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Stariuss jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hands keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Hands misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Starius.
Starius let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Starius misses with a few strikes there.
Hands throws a body shot but no joy.
Hands misses with a body shot.
Hands misses with a looping left.
Hands works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.

Starius darts in and clinches Hands up against the cage.
Hands misses with a shot to the kidneys.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Hands misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Starius is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Hands blocks an uppercut.
Hands wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Hands is looking to break free of the clinch but Starius has double underhooks.
Hands tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Starius can't find room to land a body shot as Hands controls the action.
Starius throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Starius scores with a shot to the side of Hands's head.
Hands tries to throw a body punch but Starius avoids it by throwing Hands back against the cage.
Hands tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Starius's elbow.
Starius misses with some punches.
Hands wants to stall.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Hands struggles to land a body shot inside as Starius controls his hands.
Starius prevents Hands from breaking the clinch.
Pillow Hands is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Starius throws a punch but it's blocked by Hands.
Hands is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Pillow Hands.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Hands, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Radbod Blank scores the fight 30:27
Judge Daniel Blasius scores the fight 30:27
Judge Paulsen Ambrosius scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Pillow Hands!
In his post fight interview, Pillow Hands gave a big smile as he said 'Hope my hands tasted damn good, because you won't be able to eat anything else for a while!'.