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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jules Winfield (ranked 2308 p4p, 0 weight class) and my Penis (ranked 2978 p4p, 0 weight class). Winfield comes to the cage accompanied by Pulp Fiction Theme. Both these guys have solid standup skills and neither is particularly fantastic on the ground, so let's hope for a nice standup war!
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| 189 cm
38
215 lbs
24 - 11 - 0 |
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190 cm
25
212 lbs
3 - 1 - 0 |
Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine |
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Powerful takedowns
Excellent boxer
Powerful |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
24 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Jules Winfield!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
3 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, my Penis!
The judges for this bout are Arvi Lind, Anni Minnemäki and Ben Zyskovitsi.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Penis throws a predictable looking body shot
and Winfield counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Winfield.
Penis manages to break the clinch.
Penis throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Penis swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Winfield connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Penis throws a sloppy body shot
and Winfield counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Winfield shoots in for a takedown and gets it.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Winfield connects with a nice short shot to Penis's temple.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Penis taking some punishment here, with Winfield in his half guard.
Penis has hold of Winfield's hands but Winfield slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Winfield working the head and body with strikes.
Penis keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Penis taking some punishment here, with Winfield in his half guard.
Penis is trying to stand up here but Winfield is controlling him well.
Winfield is taking a breather. Penis says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Winfield landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Winfield lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.
Penis is trying to stand.
Winfield seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Winfield prevents Penis from standing back up.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Winfield is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.
Winfield lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.
Penis is rocked!
Winfield passes the half guard and he's now in mount! Big trouble for Penis!
Penis is still in real trouble! Can Winfield finish him?
Penis is trying to get to the cage to help him get back to his feet.
Penis seems to have recovered his senses.
Winfield landing strikes from the mount and Penis is in trouble!
Winfield lands with some strikes.
Winfield looking to finish Penis with some ground and pound. This is bad for Penis!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Winfield loads up with a big shot that hurts Penis! He's pulled Winfield in close but Winfield has postured up and lands more strikes. Can Penis survive? More strikes from Winfield and Penis is out! The ref jumps in to save him! Brutal ground and pound!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:59 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Strikes). Jules Winfield!
After the fight, Jules Winfield was humble in paying tribute to his opponent but made it clear he wants to go on to bigger and better things. It seemed to go down well with the crowd who cheered him loudly.
The defeated my Penis had this to say: 'Bomb the caliphate, AND SERIOUSLY. What kind of gay cunt fights a 4 match pro, u cunt'.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
71% |
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