PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Turd McPherson (ranked 1167 p4p, 153 weight class) and Do You Really Want To Hurt (ranked 415 p4p, 59 weight class). Both fighter's entrance songs getting the crowd jumping here.

McPherson
vs
You Really Want To Hurt

225 cm
26
292 lbs
6 - 1 - 0

185 cm
26
285 lbs
8 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
Basic striking
Cardio machine

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Turd McPherson!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Do You Really Want To Hurt!
The judges for this bout are Michael Johnstone, Dirk Anderson and Bart Greer.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

You Really Want To Hurt has closed the distance and engaged McPherson in a clinch.
McPherson tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. You Really Want To Hurt just stands there and leans against the cage.
The referee calls for You Really Want To Hurt to work.
You Really Want To Hurt blocks a body shot from McPherson.
You Really Want To Hurt lands a shot to the body.
McPherson throws a punch but it's blocked by You Really Want To Hurt.
You Really Want To Hurt's coach down at ELITE Island Gym - 19 Elite Coaches was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on You Really Want To Hurt's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
McPherson looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
You Really Want To Hurt manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
McPherson drops down for a takedown but doesn't get it.
You Really Want To Hurt has McPherson pressed against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
You Really Want To Hurt stalling the fight.
You Really Want To Hurt slowing the pace effectively.
The crowd are getting on You Really Want To Hurt's back here. They're not happy about his lack of aggression in the clinch.
You Really Want To Hurt works on McPherson's body with a couple of short punches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McPherson misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from You Really Want To Hurt.
You Really Want To Hurt works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
You Really Want To Hurt cracks McPherson with a nice body shot.
You Really Want To Hurt controlling the action here for a moment.
You Really Want To Hurt digs a right hand underneath McPherson's ribcage. McPherson let out a lung full of air as it connected.
McPherson letting You Really Want To Hurt take a breather here.
You Really Want To Hurt has McPherson pushed against the cage.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Do You Really Want To Hurt.
You Really Want To Hurt connects with a body shot that sends McPherson's belly button to the back.
Nice uppercut lands for You Really Want To Hurt. That snapped McPherson's head back.
Turd McPherson seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
McPherson takes a jab right on the kisser.
McPherson definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
McPherson misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
You Really Want To Hurt tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McPherson goes for a double leg but You Really Want To Hurt avoids the attempt and the two fighters end up clinched against the cage as You Really Want To Hurt continues to drive forward.
McPherson sets himself, and You Really Want To Hurt steps forward looking for the clinch! McPherson avoids it this time.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Turd McPherson. That's going to take a lot out of him.
McPherson shoots in looking for a takedown but You Really Want To Hurt manages to keep the fight standing, pushing McPherson's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
You Really Want To Hurt uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before McPherson has time to react.

You Really Want To Hurt lands a big uppercut and McPherson crumbles to the floor! The ref thinks about stopping the fight but McPherson looks OK. You Really Want To Hurt waves McPherson back to his feet!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
McPherson throws a body punch but You Really Want To Hurt moves out of range.
You Really Want To Hurt tries to counter with a clinch but McPherson shakes him off and moves away.
Do You Really Want To Hurt is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
McPherson tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
You Really Want To Hurt comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
McPherson is breathing heavily.
McPherson is aggressively charging in as You Really Want To Hurt backs up avoiding any damage. You Really Want To Hurt tosses out a jab and McPherson runs right into it face first! McPherson is out cold! You Really Want To Hurt dropped down on all fours and is barking in McPherson's face like a pit bull in celebration until the ref was finally able to pull him away!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:31 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Do You Really Want To Hurt! Do You Really Want To Hurt retains his heavyweight title!
Do You Really Want To Hurt seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.