PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Shasta Magoo (ranked 4290 p4p, 348 weight class) and Turd McPherson (ranked 582 p4p, 0 weight class). Magoo comes to the cage accompanied by Walk all over you. Turd McPherson will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Magoo
vs
McPherson

185 cm
25
250 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

225 cm
27
292 lbs
10 - 4 - 0

Decent wrestler
Brawler
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Basic striking
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Shasta Magoo !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 4 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Turd McPherson!
The judges for this bout are Michael Johnstone, Peter Branson and Santiago Holmes.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Magoo lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but McPherson circles away quickly and effectively.
Magoo scores with a jab to the body.
Magoo throws a low kick, looking for McPherson's leg but McPherson calmly moves out of range.
McPherson is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.

McPherson drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.
Magoo is looking to stand back up but McPherson counters by passing into half guard. Oops... bit sloppy there by Magoo .
Magoo definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.

McPherson working over Magoo with some ground and pound. Magoo looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
Magoo is looking to escape.
Magoo on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
McPherson thows a huge punch but Magoo dodges it nicely.
McPherson is working hard to pass the guard. He's done it - he's now in full mount! Trouble for Magoo !
Magoo knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for McPherson on the ground.
This has been an exciting period of action!
McPherson looking to control and managing it successfully.
McPherson has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
McPherson lands a big elbow.
McPherson landing strikes from the mount.
Magoo might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McPherson unloading with bombs!
McPherson landing shots from mount.

Magoo is rocked!
McPherson softens up his opponent with a couple of shots there and then CRACK! One massive shot lands there and Magoo is out cold! McPherson jumps to his feet and celebrates on the cage with the fans, who are, quite frankly, going absolutely mental!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:30 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Turd McPherson!
A very excited looking Turd McPherson made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.
The defeated Shasta Magoo had this to say: 'If i learned one lesson in life its that Life always offers you a second chance, its called tomorrow so with this in mind always remember that if you cant remember my name, just say "chocolate" and i will turn around.'.