PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Thomas Bolleke (ranked 19 p4p, 4 weight class) and Snot Slurper (ranked 5 p4p, 2 weight class). Slurper has chosen They say that I'm Crazy as his entrance music. Snot Slurper has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Thomas Bolleke's chin.

Bolleke
vs
Slurper

195 cm
28
191 lbs
16 - 4 - 0

186 cm
32
195 lbs
30 - 6 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Urban Fighter
UnderGround Supplements

Aspire Clothing
Urban Fighter

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the middleweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 16 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Thomas Bolleke!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 30 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Snot Slurper!
The judges for this bout are Paul Tew, Daniel Bishop and Donald Grub.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bolleke ducks under a wild hook from Slurper.
Slurper misses the shot to the body.
Bolleke misses with a looping left.
Slurper fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Bolleke has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Slurper scores with a jab to the body.

Bolleke closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Slurper's guard.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Bolleke accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.

Slurper working for a triangle but Bolleke defends it easily.

Slurper escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Bolleke gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bolleke is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Slurper trying to control the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Slurper is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

Slurper is looking for a triangle but Bolleke pushes his legs off easily.
Bolleke wants to pass the guard but Slurper is keeping the position.
Bolleke connects with a couple of short punches.
Slurper has been taking part in the yoga sessions down at Save America! TRUMP 2020!. Presumably he's going to look for a slick submission... Or maybe he's looking to avoid one.
Bolleke lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
We've been hearing that Bolleke has been drilling a lot of ground and pound in training, so let's see if he get the finish.
Bolleke postures up and lands a big shot to Slurper's brow.
Bolleke trying to control the position from guard on top but Slurper is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bolleke passes Slurper's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Slurper is trying to control but can't.
Bolleke is controlling the pace.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Slurper on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Bolleke is pressing down on Slurper's thigh, looking to free his foot. Slurper is holding on for now.
Slurper is looking for a sweep. Bolleke is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Bolleke has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.

Bolleke is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Slurper defends it well.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Slurper actively working from the bottom here.
Slurper moves into full guard.
Slurper is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.

Slurper is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Bolleke looking to sit in guard and control but Slurper gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

Slurper preventing the sweep.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Slurper trying to control the position from guard on top but Bolleke is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Slurper forces his way into half guard.
Slurper looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Slurper takes a deep breath and rests his weight momentarily on top of his opponent, to control the position.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Bolleke wants to control but Slurper is keeping busy.
Bolleke is looking to get back to full guard here but Slurper has managed to pass to side control instead.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Thomas Bolleke will probably get the nod.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Slurper drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Slurper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bolleke.
Slurper throws a leg kick but Bolleke sees it coming and moves out of range.
Slurper takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Bolleke shoots in but Slurper avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Slurper takes a swing at Bolleke's ribcage but misses.
Bolleke is looking to counter punch.
Bolleke lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Slurper is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Bolleke throws a body shot but no joy.
Slurper throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slurper shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Bolleke shoots in but no luck this time.
Bolleke throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Bolleke keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Bolleke throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Slurper's waist but Slurper gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Bolleke off to one side.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Thomas Bolleke. That's going to take a lot out of him.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slurper thows a left - swing and a miss!

Slurper gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Bolleke.
Slurper lands a left hand that snaps the head of Bolleke backwards.

Bolleke breaks from the clinch.
Slurper throws a hook but Bolleke avoids it easily.
Slurper ducks under a wild hook from Bolleke.
Bolleke shoots in but no luck this time.
Slurper fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Bolleke has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Bolleke shoots for a double leg takedown but Slurper sprawls well. He's pushed Bolleke's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Slurper lands a nice looking body shot.
Bolleke lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Slurper fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
A looping hook to the body misses from Slurper. Bolleke does a little dance to reset his feet.
Bolleke misses with a takedown attempt - Slurper sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Bolleke looks to score with a jab to the body but Slurper is just out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bolleke lands with a right hand.
Slurper looks to score with a jab to the body but Bolleke is just out of range.
Bolleke swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Bolleke uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Slurper.
Slurper walks into a straight right hand from Bolleke.

Bolleke shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Slurper napping and manages to drive through into side control!
Bolleke wants to lay and pray for a moment but Slurper keeps working.
Bolleke tries to move to mount but Slurper blocks the move with his legs.
Slurper is trying to work for a sweep but Bolleke has mounted him!
Slurper slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Slurper is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Bolleke scores with a couple of nice shots.

Slurper actively working from the bottom here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Slurper wants to improve his position but Bolleke is controlling well.
Bolleke is nestled in close to Slurper, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
Bolleke keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Bolleke is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Slurper sees it coming and defends easily.
Bolleke seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Slurper does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Bolleke stalling away here and it's allowed Slurper to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.
Thomas Bolleke overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Bolleke passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Slurper tries to buck Bolleke off but Bolleke is having none of it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bolleke cracks Slurper with an elbow. That is naaassty.
Slurper is looking to reverse the position.
Slurper struggling a bit here.
Bolleke connects with a decent looking elbow from side control that caused Slurper some visible discomfort.
Slurper tries to buck Bolleke off but Bolleke is having none of it.
Bolleke is staying tight to Slurper's torso, preventing him from escaping.
Slurper is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
This fight is sponsored by Chainsaw 7. More blood and guts and stuff like that, in cinemas everywhere now!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Thomas Bolleke will probably get the nod.
That's time! Back to the action!

Slurper misses with a straight left.
It looked like Bolleke wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Slurper on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Bolleke lands a nice looking body shot.
Slurper throws a body shot but no joy.
Slurper throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Bolleke changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Slurper.
Bolleke displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Slurper throws out the jab.
Slurper keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Jab, jab by Bolleke - just one landing.
Slurper uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Bolleke.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slurper uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Bolleke.
Slurper misses the shot to the body.
Bolleke wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Slurper's jab looks to have found its range, popping Bolleke under the eye.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Slurper misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bolleke.
Bolleke was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Snot Slurper seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Slurper scores with a crisp jab that stopped Bolleke in his tracks.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slurper fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Bolleke manages to avoid it.
Bolleke steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Slurper.
Bolleke is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Slurper throws a jab but it's blocked by Bolleke.
Bolleke scores with a nice head shot.
Bolleke darts in looking for a takedown but Slurper gets double underhooks and turns Bolleke into the cage.
Bolleke lunges at Slurper with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Slurper's hand.
Slurper takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Slurper misses with a hook. Bolleke ducked under it nicely.
Slurper with a hook.
Bolleke connects with a right hand. Slurper shakes it off.
Left hook, right uppercut from Bolleke.
Bolleke throws a big shot that misses.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Slurper is looking to score with low kicks.
Bolleke appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Bolleke throws a body shot but no joy.
Bolleke throws a body shot but no joy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Slurper throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Slurper throws a lazy uppercut

and Bolleke decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in Slurper's guard.
Bolleke controls the pace of the fight for a moment.

Slurper is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Bolleke passes Slurper's left leg - he's now in half guard.
Bolleke wants to take a breather but Slurper is having none of it.
Slurper is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Bolleke's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Bolleke's back!
Slurper looking to hold on to the position here but Bolleke rolls and ends up regaining guard.
Bolleke is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Slurper is looking to stand up but Bolleke won't let him.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Bolleke is actively looking for submissions from his back. He's worked himself a little space on the bottom and seems to be going for a triangle. No, he's switched into an armbar! That was slick! Slurper rolls with it to try and escape but Bolleke cranks on the arm and Slurper is forced to tap out! This one is aaaaaaaaall over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:30 of round 3, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Thomas Bolleke!
Thomas Bolleke retains his middleweight title!
A relieved looking Thomas Bolleke thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
The defeated Snot Slurper had this to say: 'bastard ate boiled eggs and stale beer b4 the fight and fouled the air so bad even the ref was gagging out there ! Do u know how hard it is to fight and NOT vomit at same time???? Bastard should be required to use a buttplug...'.