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CACC 31 PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Douche Canoe (ranked 2170 p4p, 292 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 2465 p4p, 328 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!
This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Las Vegas, with a TWGC record of 3 wins and 1 losses; Douche Canoe! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 10 wins and 10 losses; Professor Dickweed! The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Percy O'Donnell and Timothy Bukovac.
Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious? Canoe gets in close and instigates a clinch. Canoe looking for a takedown. Canoe is looking to take this one to the mat. Dickweed wants to take the fight to the mat but Canoe manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch. Canoe fails to pull the fight into his guard.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Douche Canoe. That's going to take a lot out of him. Dickweed gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from Canoe.
Canoe gets control of Dickweed's arms and successfully pulls guard. Canoe will no doubt be looking for submissions off his back. Canoe trying to control the position.
We've been hearing good reports from Canoe's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today. Dickweed controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling. We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up. A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Canoe holds on and takes a little breather.
That's one minute gone in the round. Dickweed is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long. Canoe has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall. Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Canoe is keeping the position. Canoe being controlled here, momentarily. Dickweed postures up.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
That's two minutes gone in the round. Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics. There's a bit of a scramble here and now Canoe is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Canoe (2) vs (0) Dickweed Canoe has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player. Dickweed is trying to keep Canoe in close.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Canoe from controlling successfully. Canoe looking to pass the guard.
That's three minutes gone in the round. Canoe trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom. Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck. Canoe wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving. Dickweed is trying to control the position but Canoe postures up. Canoe wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving. Dickweed is trying to control the position from the bottom.
That's four minutes gone in the round. Dickweed manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Canoe manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Canoe (2) vs (2) Dickweed Dickweed advances to half guard. Dickweed trying to control the pace. The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring. Canoe gets back to full guard.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Canoe is keeping the position for now. Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving. Canoe will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
That's five minutes gone in the round. Canoe can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Dickweed controls the pace. Dickweed sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Canoe's guard. Dickweed is trying to control. Canoe wants to improve his position but can't escape this time. Canoe won't allow Dickweed to pass to mount. Canoe is holding on to half guard well. Dickweed is figuring out what he wants to do next.
That's six minutes gone in the round. Dickweed wants to take a breather but Canoe is having none of it. Canoe tries to get to full guard but Dickweed has control of the leg. Dickweed content to sit in half guard and control for a moment. Canoe wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy and won't allow it. Dickweed wants to take a breather but Canoe is having none of it. Canoe trying to control but Dickweed postures up.
That's seven minutes gone in the round. Canoe is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Dickweed is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him. Dickweed is taking a breather. Canoe says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something. Dickweed tries to pass to full mount but Canoe defends it.
That's eight minutes gone in the round. Canoe trying to control but Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed controlling the action here. Dickweed tries to pass the half guard into mount. Canoe knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt. The fighters are battling for position here. Canoe manages to regain full guard. Nice work. Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Canoe is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can. Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
That's nine minutes gone in the round. Dickweed not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up. Canoe not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dickweed slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up. Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Canoe is keeping the position for now. Canoe is controlling Dickweed's posture. Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
That's ten minutes gone in the round. Canoe looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it. Dickweed sitting in guard, not really doing much. Canoe is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up. Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving.
That's eleven minutes gone in the round. Canoe is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle. Dickweed looking to pass the guard. Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving. Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Canoe is retaining full guard. Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Canoe is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
That's twelve minutes gone in the round. Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet. Dickweed won't allow Canoe to sweep him here. Canoe keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass. Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving. Dickweed stands and throws Canoe's legs to the side, diving into side control. Score +3 for passing guard: Canoe (2) vs (5) Dickweed Canoe is positioning himself to get back to half guard. Dickweed trying to control the position but Canoe is working away.
That's thirteen minutes gone in the round. Canoe wants to control but Dickweed postures up. Dickweed tries to advance to mount but can't. Canoe is not content to let Dickweed control the position. Canoe tries to improve position but can't. Dickweed controlling the position.
That's fourteen minutes gone in the round. Canoe tries to bench press Dickweed off him but Dickweed keeps the position. Dickweed just content to control the position. Dickweed has knee on belly and now moves to full mount! Trouble for Canoe! Score +2 for reaching mount: Canoe (2) vs (7) Dickweed Canoe is writhing around trying to get back to his feet. Canoe prevents Dickweed from taking his back. Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out! Canoe wants to control but Dickweed is having none of it. Canoe keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
And that's the end of the fight! Dickweed wins on points by 7 to 2. |
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