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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Juju Baraka (ranked 320 p4p, 650 weight class) and Massive Wanker (ranked 43 p4p, 91 weight class). Baraka's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Burning Spear. Wanker has chosen Running Free as his entrance music. Massive Wanker acknowledges the crowd's support as he enters the cage.
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| 203 cm
28
243
11 - 5 - 0 |
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225 cm
28
282
19 - 4 - 0 |
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Excellent grappler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Juju Baraka!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 19 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
The judges for this bout are Steve Erwin, Chris Dean and Topper Green.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Wanker throws a quick inside leg kick.
Wanker checks a low kick from Baraka.
Jab by Baraka.
Wanker loads up on a big right hand but Baraka slips the punch.
A head kick misses from Wanker.
Baraka definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Wanker has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Baraka.
Wanker ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Baraka moves away.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Wanker, as that shot connected.
It looks like Juju Baraka has been cut.
Baraka moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Baraka misses with a low kick.
Wanker cracks a nice hook into Baraka's ribs.
Baraka lands a nice leg kick that just misses Wanker's sensitive parts.
Wanker is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Baraka scores with the left hand. Wanker knows he should have avoided that one.
We've been informed that Wanker has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Baraka has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Wanker finds it's way round the side to connect with Baraka's head.
Wanker lands with a slapping head kick.
Massive Wanker seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Wanker stuns Baraka with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Baraka bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Baraka checks a low kick from Wanker.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A jab lands there for Wanker.
Baraka throws a series of punches but Wanker avoids them all with ease.
Baraka fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Wanker checks it well.
A little jabbing left from Wanker on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Nice cross by Wanker.
Baraka throws a right hand that misses
and Wanker counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Baraka chopping away at his opponent's legs.
A nice inside leg kick there by Wanker. That's going to slow Baraka down.
Good work by Wanker as he checks the leg kick.
A shot to the body from Wanker misses
and Baraka counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Wanker slips a straight right by Baraka.
Baraka lands with a good body shot.
Wanker tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Baraka fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Wanker looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Wanker looks to score with a jab to the body but Baraka is just out of range.
Wanker connects with a solid leg kick.
Baraka throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Baraka fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Wanker with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Good shot there by Baraka.
Jab from Wanker.
Juju Baraka's cut is getting worse.
Wanker rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Baraka moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Baraka tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Wanker was well out of range. Poor timing from Baraka.
Baraka throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
A left lands for Baraka.
Wanker scoring well with a low kick there.
Wanker moves out of range of the leg kick from Baraka.
Wanker throws a body shot but no joy.
Baraka looks to throw the jab but Wanker is out of range.
A big left from Wanker misses.
Baraka throwing a counter right hand but Wanker manages to avoid it.
Wanker throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Baraka uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Wanker.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Baraka fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Baraka misses with a wild body shot.
Wanker throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Baraka throwing a counter right hand but Wanker manages to avoid it.
Wanker dodges the punch combination from Baraka.
Baraka fails to land with a series of punches.
Baraka takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Wanker cracks Baraka with a good jab.
Baraka lands a nice shot that snaps Wanker's head back.
The fighters circling - Wanker throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Wanker tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Wanker.
Wanker uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Baraka throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Baraka throws a poor cross that misses
letting Wanker counter with a right hand.
Baraka scoring well with a low kick there.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wanker lands a jab.
Juju Baraka's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Wanker scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Wanker is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Wanker moves into range and throws a lovely three punch combination.
Baraka throws a shot to the body.
Wanker takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Wanker throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Baraka misses with a combination
and Baraka takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Jeez, Juju Baraka's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Baraka throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
A nice leg kick from Baraka, right into the meat of the thigh.
Wanker takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Nice cross by Wanker.
Wanker throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.
A close round but Massive Wanker will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Juju Baraka's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!
Baraka does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Wanker misses with a looping right.
A bone on bone clash there as Wanker blocks the leg kick.
Wanker scores with a punch to the head.
Baraka looks to throw the jab but Wanker is out of range.
Baraka swings widly with a right hand
and Wanker counters with a straight right hand.
The referee calls the doctor in to look at Juju Baraka's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:29 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Massive Wanker!
A very excited looking Massive Wanker made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
53% |
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