PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Ray Luciano (ranked 312 p4p, 648 weight class) and Rectal Thermometer (ranked 45 p4p, 96 weight class). Luciano comes to the cage accompanied by SHORT PEOPLE. The crowd giving both fighters a great reception on their way into the arena. That's good to see.

Luciano
vs
Thermometer

187 cm
24
187
11 - 1 - 0

185 cm
24
194
10 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Granite chin

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin

Conquer
Conviction

Conquer
Voodoo Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Ray Luciano!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Rectal Thermometer!
The judges for this bout are Sam Margolis, William Gold and Paul Tew.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Luciano slips a jab from Thermometer.
Nice shot by Luciano.
Thermometer stuns Luciano with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Luciano takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
A big left from Luciano misses.
A right-left combo lands from Thermometer.
Luciano fails to land with a series of punches.
A countering left hand to the body from Thermometer misses.
Thermometer lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Thermometer.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Thermometer thuds a left hand into Luciano's body.
Luciano lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Luciano throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Thermometer throws a jab when Luciano was well out of range.
Thermometer is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Luciano.
Rectal Thermometer seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Luciano defending well as Thermometer loads up on a big left hand.
Luciano dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Thermometer. That did some damage!
Thermometer has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
A telegraphed right hand from Luciano misses the target.
Thermometer scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Thermometer ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Thermometer jabs at Luciano's body.
Thermometer throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
A little feinted left hand from Luciano on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Luciano has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Ice Cream Parlour in the buildup to the fight.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Luciano jabbing away but nothing is landing.
A countering left hand to the body from Thermometer misses.
Thermometer is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Luciano rather than just go for the knockout.
Thermometer misses with a hook to the body
and Luciano counters with a left and a right that stings Thermometer.
Luciano bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Thermometer's head.
Luciano throws a nice inside leg kick.
Luciano dodges the punch combination from Thermometer.
Thermometer cracks Luciano with an open hand slap.
Luciano misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Thermometer.
Thermometer misses with a few strikes there.
Luciano throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Luciano scores with a shot to the body.
Luciano looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Thermometer missing with a left hand there. Luciano was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Thermometer steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Luciano.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Luciano uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Thermometer has time to react.
Luciano throws a hook to the side of Thermometer's head but Thermometer sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Luciano slips a jab from Thermometer.
Luciano takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thermometer jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Luciano uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thermometer.
Luciano drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Luciano throws a chopping leg kick but Thermometer manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Thermometer throws a right hand that misses
and Luciano counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Thermometer thinking.
Luciano avoids the body shot from Thermometer.
A nice leg kick from Luciano, right into the meat of the thigh.
Thermometer throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Luciano stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Luciano ducks under a wild hook from Thermometer.
Luciano lands with an uppercut that bounces Thermometer off the cage and back into range.
A big right from Luciano misses.
Thermometer's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Luciano connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Thermometer scrambles back to his feet.
The fighters circle momentarily. Thermometer darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Nice cross by Luciano.
Thermometer misses with an uppercut
and Luciano counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Luciano takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Luciano takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Thermometer misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Luciano.
Luciano appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Luciano tries to score with a low kick but Thermometer moves his leg out of the way.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Luciano uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Thermometer.
Luciano lands a jab to the head.
Thermometer lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Luciano avoids the body shot from Thermometer.
Thermometer misses with the combination.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thermometer. Luciano does a little dance to reset his feet.
A bone on bone clash there as Thermometer blocks the leg kick.
Despite the aggression on Thermometer's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Thermometer scores with a punch to the head.
Thermometer connects with a right hand. Luciano shakes it off.
Luciano lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Thermometer takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Thermometer throws an overhand right that lands on Luciano's shoulder, as Luciano tries to avoid the shot.
Thermometer thuds his right hand into Luciano's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Luciano tries to score with a low kick but Thermometer moves his leg out of the way.
It seemed like Thermometer was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Luciano takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Luciano misses with a looping left.
Thermometer lands a nice shot to the body.
Thermometer ducks down and throws a hook to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Luciano tries to bum rush Thermometer with a series of wild strikes but Thermometer uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Nice cross by Luciano.
Luciano is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Thermometer takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Thermometer throws a hook but Luciano blocks it.
Thermometer pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Thermometer misses with a body shot.
Thermometer scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Luciano doesn't seem bothered though.
Luciano uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thermometer.
Thermometer tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Thermometer jabs at Luciano's body.
Luciano throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Luciano uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Thermometer.
Thermometer lands a nice hook to Luciano's body. Luciano takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Thermometer lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Luciano at a distance.
That kick from Luciano tenderised Thermometer's leg. Thermometer is trying to keep his angry face on.
Thermometer jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Luciano displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Thermometer throws out the jab.
Thermometer scores with a hook to the body. Luciano takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Rectal Thermometer dominated that round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Nice cross by Thermometer.
Thermometer looks to score with a jab to the body but Luciano is just out of range.
Luciano with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Luciano throws a chopping leg kick but Thermometer manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Thermometer scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Luciano takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Sloppy strikes from Thermometer. Those never looked like landing.
And Luciano counters with a quick kick to the body but Thermometer blocks it.
Luciano looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Thermometer lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Luciano at a distance.
Thermometer tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Luciano was well out of range. Poor timing from Thermometer.
Thermometer feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Lucianos jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Thermometer lands a right hook to the body.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Luciano lands with a thumping leg kick.
Luciano throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Thermometer ducks under a wild hook from Luciano.
Thermometer lands with an overhand left.
Luciano tries to move into range but Thermometer moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Luciano will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
A big right from Luciano misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thermometer digs a good body shot into Luciano's ribs.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Thermometer.
Luciano throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Luciano has not gone for a single takedown so far in this fight, which seems like a very strange tactic when you consider that he has the superior wrestling and BJJ.
Thermometer scores with a shot to the body.
Thermometer fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Luciano manages to avoid it.
Thermometer lands with a nice body punch.
Thermometer ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Thermometer cracks a nice hook into Luciano's ribs.
Luciano thows a left - swing and a miss!
It seemed like Thermometer was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Luciano pulls out of a head kick attempt.
This entire fight has taken place on the feet so far and you wonder whether Luciano might be better served trying to take this one to the ground because he's losing the standup battle so far.
A big right from Luciano misses.
Thermometer swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Luciano connects with a crisp jab.
Luciano tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Despite the aggression on Thermometer's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Thermometer has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Thermometer misses with a combination
and Luciano counters with a good low kick that Thermometer was not able to check.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Jab by Thermometer.
Luciano looks to score with a jab to the body but Thermometer is just out of range.
Luciano throws a jab when Thermometer was well out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thermometer thuds his right hand into Luciano's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
A telegraphed right hand from Luciano misses the target.
Luciano scores with a crisp jab that stopped Thermometer in his tracks.
Luciano throws a jab but it's blocked by Thermometer.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Thermometer scores with a punch to the head.
A telegraphed right hand from Luciano misses the target.
Luciano connects with a body shot that sends Thermometer's belly button to the back.
Rectal Thermometer seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Thermometer misses with a wild body shot.
Luciano misses with a hook.
Thermometer is looking for the big counter here.
Thermometer lands with a shot to the body.
Thermometer misses with a looping left.
Luciano throws a front kick aimed at Thermometer's knee but Thermometer avoids it well.
Thermometer looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Thermometer tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Luciano was well out of range. Poor timing from Thermometer.
Nice cross by Luciano.
Thermometer pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Thermometer scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Luciano wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Luciano throws a leg kick but Thermometer checks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thermometer lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Luciano misses with a body kick.
A little jabbing left from Thermometer on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Thermometer takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Luciano walks into a jab.
Thermometer throws a jab when Luciano was well out of range.
Luciano avoids the body shot from Thermometer.
Thermometer throws a shot to the body.
Thermometer fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Luciano ducks under a wild hook from Thermometer.
Luciano fires out a quick counter leg kick but Thermometer just manages to avoid it.
Thermometer throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Luciano sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Luciano swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Thermometer throws a shot from downtown. Luciano moves away and avoids it.
Thermometer's corner calls for a 1-2. Thermometer obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Thermometer scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Thermometer throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Luciano throws the left hand but Thermometer avoids the punch easily.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Thermometer lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Luciano at a distance.
Luciano bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thermometer waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Luciano.
A little feinted left hand from Luciano on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Thermometer throws a right hand that misses
and Luciano counters with a nice kick to the body.
A jab from Luciano finds it's way through Thermometer's defenses.
Thermometer defending well as Luciano loads up on a big left hand.
Luciano with a hook.
Thermometer throws a body shot but no joy.
A decent looking cross lands there for Luciano.
Thermometer throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Thermometer throws a right hand that misses
and Luciano counters with an outside leg kick.
Luciano clobbers Thermometer with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Thermometer's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Thermometer misses with a left hand
and Luciano counters with a slapping leg kick.
A big right from Luciano misses.
Luciano's corner calls for a 1-2. Luciano obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Luciano is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Thermometer takes a kick to the side of the head.
Thermometer scores with a jab. Luciano acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Luciano waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Thermometer.
Thermometer lands a jab to Luciano's midsection.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Rectal Thermometer showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! Let's get this one finished - here comes the final round!

Thermometer slips a jab from Luciano.
Thermometer waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Luciano.
A swing and a miss from Thermometer.
Luciano gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Luciano throws a quick inside leg kick.
Luciano throws a jab when Thermometer was well out of range.
Luciano turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Luciano scores with the left hand. Thermometer knows he should have avoided that one.
Luciano connects with a body shot.
Thermometer ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Luciano lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Thermometer has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Thermometer and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thermometer punishes Luciano's body with a nice straight punch.
Luciano lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Luciano works over Thermometer's head and body with a nice combination.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Thermometer misses the shot to the body.
Thermometer has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Luciano lands with a thumping leg kick.
Thermometer uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Luciano.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A jab from Luciano misses.
Luciano waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Thermometer.
Luciano swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Luciano takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Thermometer jabs at Luciano's body.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Thermometer throws a hook to the side of Luciano's head but Luciano sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Luciano displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Thermometer throws out the jab.
A quick step to the side and Luciano tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Luciano throws a big shot that misses.
Thermometer lunges at Luciano with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Luciano's hand.
Luciano ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Thermometer moves away.
Thermometer throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Luciano slips a straight right by Thermometer.
Thermometer waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Luciano.
Luciano throwing a counter right hand but Thermometer manages to avoid it.
Luciano misses with a hook. Thermometer ducked under it nicely.
Thermometer thuds a left hand into Luciano's body.
Luciano uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Thermometer.
Luciano keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Luciano uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Thermometer.
Rectal Thermometer is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thermometer lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Thermometer lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Luciano tried to score with a low kick but Thermometer checks it.
Luciano takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Thermometer lands a nice shot that snaps Luciano's head back.
Luciano fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Thermometer checks it well.
Decent striking displayed by Thermometer there.
Thermometer scores with a punch to the head.
Luciano tries to land a front kick but Thermometer steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Thermometer swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Thermometer dips to his left and cracks Luciano with an uppercut!
Ray Luciano has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
A looping hook to the body misses from Thermometer. Luciano does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thermometer waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Luciano.
Thermometer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Luciano will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Thermometer lands a jab.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thermometer scores with a punch to the head.
Thermometer ducks under a wild hook from Luciano.
Luciano steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Thermometer.
Thermometer throws a right hand that Luciano ducks under and follows up with a left that Luciano also avoids with ease.
Thermometer lands a body shot.
Luciano throws a front kick aimed at Thermometer's knee but Thermometer avoids it well.
Thermometer throws a body punch but Luciano moves out of range.
Thermometer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Luciano walks into a straight right hand from Thermometer.
Luciano takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Nice straight punches there by Luciano. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Luciano.
Thermometer looks to throw the jab but Luciano is out of range.
Thermometer misses with a hook. Luciano ducked under it nicely.
A big right from Luciano misses.
Thermometer connects with the punch.
Luciano gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Thermometer counters with a stiff right hand.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Luciano lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Thermometer connects with the punch.
Thermometer with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Luciano looks to throw the jab but Thermometer is out of range.
A countering left hand to the body from Thermometer misses.
Thermometer throws out a loose jab but Luciano uses good head movement to avoid it.
Luciano bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
A big right from Luciano misses.
Thermometer fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Thermometer dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Luciano throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Luciano jabbing away but nothing is landing.
A jab from Thermometer finds it's way through Luciano's defenses.
Luciano throws the left hand but Thermometer avoids the punch easily.
Thermometer looks like he wants to counter punch here.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Luciano takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Nice defenses there by Thermometer.
Luciano walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Luciano takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.

And that's the end of the fight!
Rectal Thermometer comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Thermometer has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 27:30
Judge William Gold scores the fight 27:30
Judge Paul Tew scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Rectal Thermometer!
Rectal Thermometer very nearly forgot to thank Conquer amongst all the excitement of his win but just as the interview came to a close, he screamed their name. Hopefully he'll get a few nice freebies in the mail as a thank you.