PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Oulu Laine (ranked 227 p4p, 552 weight class) and Kimbo Slice (ranked 44 p4p, 88 weight class). Laine kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Peti - Oulu Shangri-la. Kimbo Slice is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Laine
vs
Slice

199 cm
40
248
26 - 13 - 0

202 cm
43
270
47 - 9 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

Conviction
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 26 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Oulu Laine!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 47 - 9 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Kimbo Slice!
The judges for this bout are Donatello Bradman, Hugh Johnson and Summer Carpenter.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Laine closes the distance and clinches.
Laine lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Laine keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Slice's efforts to push away.

Laine breaks the clinch.
Slice throws an overhand right that lands on Laine's shoulder, as Laine tries to avoid the shot.
Slice takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Laine fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Slice manages to avoid it.
Laine pulls out of a head kick attempt.
It seemed like Slice was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Laine scores with a head kick.
Slice does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Slice swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Laine keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Slice throws the left hand but Laine avoids the punch easily.
Laine lands a nice shot to the body.
A jab lands there for Slice.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Laine connects with the punch.

Laine rushes Slice and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
A short body shot lands from Laine as the two fighters clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Laine lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Slice backwards.

Laine's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Laine tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Slice appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Slice connects with a crisp jab.
An inside leg kick lands from Laine.
Slice throws the left hand but Laine avoids the punch easily.
Slice moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Slice misses the shot to the body.
Slice's coach down at MONEY TEAM!!! was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Slice's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
Laine keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Slice.
Slice moves out of range as Laine throws a body kick.

Laine clinches up against the cage.

Slice breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.

Laine drives through and clinches with Slice against the cage.
Slice misses with a short punch on the inside.

Laine breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Slice misses with an uppercut. Laine saw that one coming.
Both fighters circling a little - Laine finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Laine connects with a looping right hand.
Laine cracks Slice with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Slice scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
A slow jab from Laine misses its intended target.
Slice lands with a hook. Laine tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
A big right from Laine misses.
A little jabbing left from Slice on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Slice moves out of range of the body kick from Laine.
Laine throws a shot from downtown. Slice moves away and avoids it.

Laine closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Laine lands an uppercut.
Slice lands a body shot in the clinch.
Nice body punch from Slice.
Slice misses with a hook from the clinch.
Laine working aggressively here.
Laine lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Laine misses with a body punch.
Laine blocking some punches.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Laine swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Still in the clinch, Slice scores with a nice short uppercut.
Slice misses with a hook from the clinch.
Laine blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Slice lands a nice uppercut.
Laine goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Slice working aggressively here.
Slice tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Laine's elbow.
Laine tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

Laine breaks the clinch.
Laine looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Nice uppercut lands for Slice. That snapped Laine's head back.
Laine is looking to clinch.
Slice throws a right hand that misses
and Laine counters with a stiff right hand.
Slice defending well as Laine loads up on a big left hand.
Laine misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Slice.
Slice uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Laine.
Laine keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Slice.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Laine throws a nice head kick!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Laine is looking to land body kicks.
Slice lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Slice misses with an uppercut.
Slice keeps the fight on the outside.

Laine has taken the fight to the clinch.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Laine.
Slice blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Slice blocks a body shot from Laine.

Laine breaks the clinch.
Slice lands a nice shot that snaps Laine's head back.
Slice looks to throw the jab but Laine is out of range.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
A looping hook to the body misses from Slice. Laine does a little dance to reset his feet.
Laine moves out of range as Slice strikes.
Laine thuds his right hand into Slice's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Slice moves out of range of the strikes.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Oulu Laine dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Laine scores with a shot to the body.
Laine lands with a hook. Slice tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Laine throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Laine takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Slice throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Slice misses with a looping left.
Laine pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Laine needs to keep his hands up - Slice had a free shot at his head there.
Laine misses with an uppercut. Slice saw that one coming.
Slice doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Slice takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Oulu Laine seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Slice blocks the body kick.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Laine here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
A jab lands there for Slice.
A punch combination from Laine misses.
It seemed like Slice was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Laine connects with an inside leg kick.
Slice lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.

Laine closes the distance and clinches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slice is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Laine misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Slice blocking some punches.
Laine swings wildly with an uppercut but Slice uses good head movement to avoid it.
Laine working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Slice tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Laine's elbow.
A nice left hand lands by Laine.
Laine lands with a left to the head.
Laine prevents a body shot from Slice.
Slice misses with the head strike.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Slice working aggressively here.

Laine manages to break the clinch.
Slice looks to throw the jab but Laine is out of range.
Slice misses the jab.
Slice cracks a nice hook into Laine's ribs.
Slice fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Laine stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Laine fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Slice thumps Laine with a low kick.
Slice jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Slice fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Laine manages to avoid it.
Slice misses with a hook. Laine ducked under it nicely.
Laine moves out of range of the body kick from Slice.
Laine doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Laine ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Slice moves away.
Laine misses with a looping left.
Slice throws a body punch but Laine moves out of range.
Laine throws a left and a right that both miss
and Slice counters with a right hand to the body.
Laine buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Laine misses with a kick to the body
and Slice cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
A jab from Laine finds it's way through Slice's defenses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Laine scores with a crisp jab that stopped Slice in his tracks.
Slice misses with a looping left.

Laine clinches up against the cage.
Laine keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Slice's efforts to push away.
Slice throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Laines head.
Laine blocks an uppercut.
Laine lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Slice backwards.
Laine tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Slice's elbow.
Slice throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.

Laine breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
A looping hook to the body misses from Slice. Laine does a little dance to reset his feet.
Slice moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Laine throws out a loose jab but Slice uses good head movement to avoid it.
Nice cross by Slice.
Slice thows a leg kick but Laine checks it
letting Laine counter with a right hand.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Slice scores with a jab to the head.
A swing and a miss from Laine.
Nice defenses there by Laine.
Laine is looking to clinch but Slice is avoiding it.

Laine moves into range and clinches up with Slice.
Oulu Laine has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Slice blocks a body shot from Laine.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Laine.
Slice lands a body shot.
Slice doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Laine scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Laine tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Slice lands a nice uppercut.
Laine gets through Slice's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Laine misses with a shot to the kidneys.

Laine breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Laine ducks right into an uppercut from Slice.
A jab from Slice does it's job there.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Oulu Laine will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Laine tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Slice manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Slice takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Laine throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
It seemed like Slice was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Laine throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Slice throws a half hearted mid kick.
Laine staying out of range there.
Laine displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Slice throws out the jab.
Laine with a hook.
A swing and a miss from Laine.
Slice looks to score with a jab to the body but Laine is just out of range.
Slice misses the shot to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slice uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Laine.
Laine bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Laine is looking to slow Slice down with leg kicks.
Slice throws an off balance right hand
and Laine cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
A jab lands there for Slice.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Laine lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Slice doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Laine jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Slice feints a counter leg kick.
Laine fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Laine throws the left hand but Slice avoids the punch easily.
Slice misses with a wild body shot.
Laine looks to land a combination. Slice sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.
Slice keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Laine checks the leg kick nicely there.
Laine misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Slice.
Slice works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Laine throws a half hearted mid kick.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Slice! But no joy.
Laine misses with a hook.
Laine swings for the body but Slice moves out of range.
Slice follows through with a counter body kick but it doesn't land.
Laine tries a head kick but it misses.
Oulu Laine is winning the standup battle so far.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Slice lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Laine at a distance.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Slice listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Slice moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Laine wants to clinch but Slice slips to the side

and Slice counters with a crisp right hand that drops Laine! Slice lets Laine back up to his feet, looking for a finish!

Laine is rocked!
Slice uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Laine.
Laine tries to clinch up but Slice circles away and keeps his distance.
Slice throws a low kick, looking for Laine's leg but Laine calmly moves out of range.
Slice jabs at Laine's body.
Laine thuds his right hand into Slice's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Slice moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Laine looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Laine keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Laine tries to clinch but Slice is having none of it.
Slice throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Laine sees it coming and avoids it easily.
A jab from Laine does it's job there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Laine moves away from the strike by Slice.
Laine wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Slice lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Laine swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Slice looks to score with a jab to the body but Laine is just out of range.
Slice scores with the left hand. Laine knows he should have avoided that one.
Laine tries to clinch but Slice is having none of it.
Laine doesn't manage to clinch there - Slice circles away.
Slice keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Laine.
Slice fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Slice slips a straight right by Laine.
Laine uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Slice.
Laine takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Slice misses with a wild body shot.
Slice scores with a slapping inside leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Laine closes the distance and clinches.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Laine doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Laine.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Laine.
Slice swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Laine misses with a punch on the inside.
Laine tries to work over Slice's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Slice tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Slice swings wildly with an uppercut but Laine uses good head movement to avoid it.
Laine tries to throw a body punch but Slice avoids it by throwing Laine back against the cage.

Slice breaks the clinch.
Slice misses with a straight right.
Slice throws a half hearted mid kick.
Kimbo Slice has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Slice lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.

And that's the end of the fight!
Kimbo Slice comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Laine has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donatello Bradman scores the fight 29:29
Judge Hugh Johnson scores the fight 29:28
Judge Summer Carpenter scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by majority decision... Oulu Laine!
A relieved looking Oulu Laine thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.