PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Mister Mediocre (ranked 198 p4p, 266 weight class) and Apophis Kalmisto (ranked 33 p4p, 40 weight class). Mediocre kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is The Champ Is Here!. Kalmisto has chosen Tässäkö tää oli as his entrance music. The fight MMA fans around the world have waited their entire lives for!

Mediocre
vs
Kalmisto

178 cm
32
158
15 - 8 - 0

175 cm
33
157
14 - 10 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin

Bondi MMA 🏝️
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Mister Mediocre!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Apophis Kalmisto!
The judges for this bout are Chris Edwards, Daniel Bishop and Steven Brown.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kalmisto throws a shot from downtown. Mediocre moves away and avoids it.
Mediocre throws a leg kick but Kalmisto checks it.
Kalmisto follows through with a counter body kick but it doesn't land.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Kalmisto misses with a double jab.
Kalmisto throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Mediocre sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Mediocre throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kalmisto sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Mediocre takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Kalmisto checks a leg kick.
Mediocre ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kalmisto moves away.
A good leg kick by Mediocre.
Mediocre keeps Kalmisto at a distance using the push kick.
Nice defenses there by Mediocre.
Mediocre misses with a hook.
Kalmisto lands a nice leg kick that just misses Mediocre's sensitive parts.
Kalmisto changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Mediocre tries to avoid it but Kalmisto manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Mediocre to the ground. Mediocre escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
A low kick lands for Mediocre.
Mediocre moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Kalmisto throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Mediocre is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Mediocre thuds a left hand into Kalmisto's body.
Kalmisto looks for the body kick but Mediocre saw that one coming.
Mediocre fires out a quick counter leg kick but Kalmisto just manages to avoid it.
Mediocre takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Mediocre throws a body shot but no joy.
Mediocre looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Mediocre just misses with a punch to the body.
Kalmisto appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Mediocre walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Kalmisto checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Nice uppercut there from Mediocre.
Kalmisto connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Mediocre walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Mediocre finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Kalmisto throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Mediocre sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Mediocre bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Kalmisto's head.
Mediocre avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Mediocre looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Kalmisto scores with a jab. Mediocre acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Kalmisto throws the left hand but Mediocre avoids the punch easily.
Mediocre tried to score with a low kick but Kalmisto checks it.
Kalmisto has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Mediocre.
Kalmisto misses with an uppercut.
An inside leg kick lands from Mediocre.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A nice inside leg kick there by Mediocre. That's going to slow Kalmisto down.
Kalmisto just misses with a punch to the body.
Kalmisto has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Mediocre.
Mediocre thows a left - swing and a miss!
Mediocre looks to score with a jab to the body but Kalmisto is just out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Mediocre shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Kalmisto misses with an uppercut.
It appears Mediocre was looking to counter with a kick there.
Mediocre pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Mediocre uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Kalmisto has time to react.
Kalmisto bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Mister Mediocre seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Mediocre thumps Kalmisto with a low kick.
Kalmisto's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Kalmisto throws a hook but Mediocre avoids it easily.
Mediocre loads up on a big right hand but Kalmisto slips the punch.
Mediocre blocks a low kick nicely.
Mediocre lands a glancing blow to the side of Kalmisto's head.
Mediocre throws a nice looking combination but Kalmisto bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
A telegraphed right hand from Mediocre misses the target.
Mediocre ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kalmisto moves away.
Mediocre scores with a jab. Kalmisto acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Kalmisto takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Mediocre throws a leg kick that misses.
Kalmisto tries to land a front kick but Mediocre steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Kalmisto throws a right and a left that both miss.
Mediocre tried to counter with a leg kick but Kalmisto avoided it.
A slow jab from Mediocre misses its intended target.
Mediocre scores with a hook.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Mediocre lands a nice shot that snaps Kalmisto's head back.
Kalmisto swings for the body but Mediocre moves out of range.
Mediocre keeps Kalmisto at a distance using the push kick.
Kalmisto uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Mediocre.
Mediocre throws a leg kick which misses Kalmisto's front leg but catches the back leg as Kalmisto tries to avoid it.
Kalmisto has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Kalmisto there as he acknowledges the shot.
Mediocre misses with a straight left.
Kalmisto connects with a jab.
Mediocre cracks Kalmisto with a right hand to the side of the head.
Kalmisto tries to bum rush Mediocre with a series of wild strikes but Mediocre uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Nice uppercut lands for Mediocre. That snapped Kalmisto's head back.
Kalmisto uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Mediocre.
Mediocre displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Kalmisto throws out the jab.
Kalmisto misses with a hook.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kalmisto attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Kalmisto keeps Mediocre at a distance using the push kick.
Mediocre lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Mediocre waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Kalmisto.
Kalmisto pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Mediocre looks to score with a jab to the body but Kalmisto is just out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kalmisto lands with a hook. Mediocre tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Kalmisto takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Mediocre is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Kalmisto avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Mediocre cracks Kalmisto with a right hand to the side of the head.
Kalmisto on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Mediocre closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Kalmisto on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Kalmisto scores with a hook to the body. Mediocre takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Mediocre swings widly with a right hand
and Kalmisto connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Kalmisto looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Mediocre lands the left hand.
Kalmisto is looking to slow Mediocre down with leg kicks.
Kalmisto uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Mediocre.
Mediocre misses with a leg kick
and Kalmisto counters with a stiff right hand.
Kalmisto misses with a double jab.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Kalmisto scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Mediocre doesn't seem bothered though.
A good leg kick by Mediocre.
Kalmisto throws a leg kick but Mediocre sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Mediocre lands with a cross.
Kalmisto connects with a solid leg kick.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Mister Mediocre dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Kalmisto throws a hook to the side of Mediocre's head but Mediocre sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Mediocre uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Kalmisto.
Kalmisto on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
A bone on bone clash there as Kalmisto blocks the leg kick.
A chopping leg kick lands by Mediocre.
Kalmisto uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Kalmisto tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Kalmisto keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Mediocre.
Mediocre looks to throw the jab but Kalmisto is out of range.
Mediocre's corner calls for a 1-2. Mediocre obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Kalmisto throws a hook to the side of Mediocre's head but Mediocre sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
A low kick lands for Kalmisto.
Mediocre fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Kalmisto checks it well.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Kalmisto! But no joy.
A bone on bone clash there as Kalmisto blocks the leg kick.
Kalmisto ducks under a wild hook from Mediocre.
A good leg kick by Kalmisto.
Mediocre throws a quick inside leg kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Mediocre connects with a solid leg kick.
Kalmisto cracks Mediocre with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Nice straight punches there by Kalmisto. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Kalmisto.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kalmisto's corner calls for a 1-2. Kalmisto obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Good exchange - Mediocre coming out on top.
Kalmisto with a hook.
Mediocre moves out of range of the leg kick from Kalmisto.
The fighters circle momentarily. Kalmisto darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
A nice leg kick from Mediocre, right into the meat of the thigh.
Mediocre throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Kalmisto motions for Mediocre to come forward. Kalmisto throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Nice uppercut there from Kalmisto.
Mister Mediocre is winning the standup battle so far.
Mediocre lands a front kick.
Kalmisto throws a body shot but no joy.
Mediocre on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Kalmisto lands with a thumping leg kick.
Mediocre connects with a solid leg kick.
Mediocre ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Mediocre cracks a nice hook into Kalmisto's ribs.
Mediocre throws a body kick that misses
and Mediocre takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Mediocre catches Kalmisto with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Kalmisto displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Mediocre throws out the jab.
Nice uppercut there from Mediocre.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kalmisto bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Mediocre is looking to slow Kalmisto down with leg kicks.
Mediocre keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Kalmisto.
Kalmisto bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Mediocre's head backwards.
Kalmisto misses with a looping right.
Kalmisto throws a body punch but Mediocre moves out of range.
Kalmisto has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Mediocre scores with a leg kick.
Kalmisto jabs at Mediocre's body.
Kalmisto uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Mediocre.
Kalmisto tried to score with a low kick but Mediocre checks it.
Kalmisto thuds a left hand into Mediocre's body.
Mediocre throws an overhand right that lands on Kalmisto's shoulder, as Kalmisto tries to avoid the shot.
Kalmisto cracks Mediocre with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Mediocre dodges the punch combination from Kalmisto.
Mediocre pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Mediocre dodges the punch combination from Kalmisto.
Mediocre connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Kalmisto momentarily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kalmisto checks the leg kick.
Kalmisto blocks a jab.
Mediocre ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Mediocre scoring well with a low kick there.
Kalmisto throws a head kick that misses.
Mediocre was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Mediocre throws a low kick but Kalmisto avoids it.
Kalmisto moves out of range of the leg kick from Mediocre.
Mediocre scores with a hook.
Mediocre lands with a nice body kick.
A slow jab from Mediocre misses its intended target.
Kalmisto connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Mediocre misses with a straight right.
Kalmisto connects with a solid leg kick.
Kalmisto throws a head kick that misses.
A leg kick checked by Kalmisto.
Mediocre connects with a leg kick.
Mediocre shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kalmisto getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Mediocre misses with a low kick as Kalmisto jumps back.
Mediocre lets loose with a powerful body kick. Kalmisto will feel that in the morning.
Kalmisto cracks Mediocre with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Kalmisto throws a head kick that misses.
Mediocre uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Kalmisto has time to react.
A big right from Mediocre misses.
A jab from Mediocre misses.
Mediocre fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Kalmisto.
Mediocre throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Danga de danga de dang - Kalmisto scores with a four punch combination!
Kalmisto scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Mediocre smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Kalmisto on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
The fighters circling - Kalmisto throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Mediocre slips a straight right by Kalmisto.
A big left from Kalmisto misses.
Kalmisto lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Kalmisto misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Apophis Kalmisto will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Mediocre scoring well with a low kick there.
Mediocre stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Kalmisto.
Kalmisto uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Mediocre.
A leg kick checked by Kalmisto.
Mediocre throws out a loose jab but Kalmisto uses good head movement to avoid it.
Kalmisto misses with a looping right.
Kalmisto lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Mediocre at a distance.
The fighters circling - Kalmisto throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
A looping hook to the body misses from Kalmisto. Mediocre does a little dance to reset his feet.
Kalmisto throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Kalmisto lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Mediocre connects with a solid leg kick.
Kalmisto slips a jab from Mediocre.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kalmisto takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Kalmisto is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Mediocre.
Mediocre throws a leg kick but Kalmisto sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Kalmisto feints a counter leg kick.
Kalmisto misses the shot to the body.
Mediocre fires out a quick counter leg kick but Kalmisto just manages to avoid it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Kalmisto. Mediocre does a little dance to reset his feet.
Kalmisto looks to land a right hand but Mediocre moved out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kalmisto will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
A low kick from Mediocre misses
and Kalmisto counters with a straight right hand.
Mediocre misses with a looping left.
Kalmisto motions for Mediocre to come forward. Kalmisto throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Mediocre catches Kalmisto with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Mediocre scores with a nice body kick.
Mediocre pivots, looking for a leg kick but Kalmisto is out of range and Mediocre settles back down.
Kalmisto has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Mediocre.
Mediocre misses with a wild combination.
Kalmisto dives in for a single leg takedown but Mediocre sprawls and the fighters end up clinched against the cage.
Mediocre half committed to a counter leg kick.
Mediocre scores with a hook.
Mediocre misses with a body kick.
Kalmisto checks a low kick from Mediocre.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Mediocre.
Mediocre throws a low kick but Kalmisto moves out of range easily.
Kalmisto is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Mediocre.
Nice defenses there by Mediocre.
Kalmisto misses with the body kick
and Mediocre makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Mediocre loads up on a big right hand but Kalmisto slips the punch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A chopping leg kick lands by Mediocre.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kalmisto throws a nice inside leg kick.
Mediocre's corner calls for a 1-2. Mediocre obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Kalmisto shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Mediocre fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Kalmisto.
Kalmisto slips under a jab.
A swing and a miss from Mediocre.
Mediocre checks a low kick from Kalmisto.
A slapping leg kick lands for Mediocre.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Mediocre, as that shot connected.
Mediocre fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Kalmisto throws out a loose jab but Mediocre uses good head movement to avoid it.
Mediocre swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Kalmisto throws a jab when Mediocre was well out of range.
Mediocre tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
A little jabbing left from Kalmisto on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Kalmisto is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Mediocre.
Mediocre feinted there with a counter leg kick.
Mediocre slips a straight right by Kalmisto.
Mediocre is looking to counter with a body kick.
Mediocre throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Mediocre throws a nice outside leg kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Mediocre has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Kalmisto.
Kalmisto finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
A slow jab from Kalmisto misses its intended target.
Mediocre tried to counter with a leg kick but Kalmisto avoided it.
Kalmisto tries to work over Mediocre's front leg with a kick but Mediocre checks it.
Kalmisto tries a head kick but it misses.
Nice defenses there by Kalmisto.
Kalmisto throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Mediocre fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Kalmisto is out of range.
Kalmisto misses with a straight right.
Kalmisto connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Mediocre's hands.
Kalmisto on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Mediocre throws an overhand right that lands on Kalmisto's shoulder, as Kalmisto tries to avoid the shot.
Kalmisto throws a sloppy head kick and Mediocre moves out of range easily.
Mediocre connects with the punch.
Mediocre misses with a wild combination.
A slow jab from Kalmisto misses its intended target.
Mediocre bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Mediocre half committed to a counter leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kalmisto connects with a jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Mediocre throws a low kick, looking for Kalmisto's leg but Kalmisto calmly moves out of range.
Kalmisto misses with a straight left.
Kalmisto misses with a hook.
An attempted straight right counter from Mediocre misses the target.
Kalmisto dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Mediocre. That did some damage!
A slow jab from Kalmisto misses its intended target.
Mediocre misses with a hook. Kalmisto ducked under it nicely.
Kalmisto throws a low kick, looking for Mediocre's leg but Mediocre calmly moves out of range.
Mediocre tests Kalmisto's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Mediocre throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Kalmisto stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
A looping hook to the body misses from Mediocre. Kalmisto does a little dance to reset his feet.
Mediocre lands with a shot to the body.
Kalmisto goes for a double leg but Mediocre avoids the attempt and the two fighters end up clinched against the cage as Mediocre continues to drive forward.
Mediocre turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Kalmisto chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Mediocre lands with a hook. Kalmisto tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Mediocre wants to land a leg kick but Kalmisto is out of range.

And that's the end of the fight!
Mister Mediocre showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Mediocre has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 29:28
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 29:28
Judge Steven Brown scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Mister Mediocre!
After winning the bout, Mister Mediocre thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.