PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Carl Crap (ranked 23830 p4p, 23768 weight class) and Gouda Cheese (ranked 243 p4p, 244 weight class). Crap's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Morrowind. On his way into the cage it seems that Carl Crap has been attacked by a crazed fan! It looks like it might have been the just bleed guy! Luckily Carl Crap seems to be OK! I thought that lunatic was in prison!?

Crap
vs
Cheese

165 cm
25
145
4 - 10 - 0

175 cm
25
135
0 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
Dangerous knees
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Conviction

Conquer
Conviction

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 10 - 0, fighting out of New York, Carl Crap!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Gouda Cheese!
The judges for this bout are Chris Dean, Skip Squint and John Mangel.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Crap keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Cheese.
Crap drops down looking for a counter takedown but Cheese sprawls and moves away.
Cheese misses with a leg kick

and Crap counters with a takedown into side control.
Cheese tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but Crap wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.
Crap tries to score with some ground and pound. Cheese controls his posture well this time though and the shots don't do any damage.
Crap has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Cheese is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Cheese dodges the ground and pound from Crap.
The ground and pound from Crap seems to be hitting the mat more than his opponent.
An elbow from Crap crashes against the mat.
Crap looking to punish the body of his opponent here but Cheese is avoiding damage well.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Crap throws a strike aimed at the side of Cheese's head but Cheese avoids it well.
Crap creates some space and throws a big elbow, but Cheese sees it coming and moves his head just enough to avoid the strike.
The strikes coming from Crap are missing the target in this wave of attacks.
Cheese struggling a bit here.
Crap lands a decent elbow from side control.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cheese manages to get back to half guard.
Crap sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Cheese defending well though.
Crap thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Cheese's head.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Crap thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
Cheese blocking the ground and pound attempt from Crap.
Crap drops an elbow to the side of Cheese's head.
Cheese keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Crap throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Crap throwing shots but Cheese is blocking nicely.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Cheese tries to get to full guard but Crap has control of the leg.
Crap thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Cheese's head.
Crap throwing shots but Cheese is blocking nicely.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Crap thows a huge punch but Cheese dodges it nicely.
Crap working over Cheese with some ground and pound. Cheese looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
Crap thows a huge punch but Cheese dodges it nicely.
Cheese is controlling Crap's trapped leg to prevent Crap from advancing to side control.
Cheese blocking the ground and pound attempt from Crap.
Crap missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
Crap not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Cheese blocking the ground and pound attempt from Crap.
Cheese keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Crap throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Crap with the ground and pound but Cheese uses the opportunity to regain guard.
Cheese is pulling down on Crap's head to control his posture.
Crap postures up in Cheese's guard and throws a big left but Cheese blocks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cheese preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Crap is looking to work some ground and pound but Cheese has wrist control.
Cheese seems keen to control Crap's posture.
Crap is looking to work some ground and pound but Cheese has wrist control.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Crap throws an elbow that misses. Cheese uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Crap's guard. Nice move by Cheese!

Cheese is stalling in the full guard.
Crap trying to strike from the bottom but really, it's not the best position to be doing that from!
Crap wants to sweep here but Cheese controlling him for the moment.
Crap trying to punch from his back but it's not doing any damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cheese controlling from the top position.
Crap striking off his back but it's not causing Cheese any problems.
Crap lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

Crap loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Crap throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Cheese works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Crap throws a strike but Cheese rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.

Crap throws a couple of shots from the bottom but they don't land.
Crap with a couple of shots from the bottom there - nothing Cheese can't handle though.
Cheese is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
Crap looking to hit a scissor sweep but Cheese is one step ahead there.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Carl Crap dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Cheese throws a hook to the side of Crap's head but Crap sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Cheese throws a leg kick which misses Crap's front leg but catches the back leg as Crap tries to avoid it.
Cheese looks to land a left hand but Crap moved out of range nicely.
Crap keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Crap is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Cheese can do to turn this around?

Cheese clinches up against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Crap throws a head punch that misses.
Crap misses with a hook from the clinch.
Crap throws a punch but it's blocked by Cheese.
Crap tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Cheese takes a shot to the head.
Cheese pushes Crap back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cheese working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Crap lands a right hand.
Cheese lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Crap.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Crap.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Cheese.
Crap throws a head punch that misses.
Cheese scores with a shot to the side of Crap's head.
Crap lands a left hand that snaps the head of Cheese backwards.
Crap tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Cheese blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Cheese tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Crap's elbow.
Cheese swings wildly with an uppercut but Crap uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cheese lands a body shot.
Crap scores with a shoulder strike.
Cheese can't find room to land a body shot as Crap controls the action.
Cheese misses with a body punch.
Cheese misses with some punches.
Crap has a couple of punches blocked by Cheese.
Cheese controlling the action here for a moment.
Carl Crap has scored more points in the clinch so far.
A right hand to the body from Cheese.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cheese tries to throw a body punch but Crap avoids it by throwing Cheese back against the cage.
A short body shot lands from Cheese as the two fighters clinch.
Cheese swings wildly with an uppercut but Crap uses good head movement to avoid it.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Cheese.
Crap misses with a short punch on the inside.
A short right from Cheese on the inside.
Crap has a couple of punches blocked by Cheese.
Cheese digs a right hand into Crap's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Crap's gas tank.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Cheese.
Crap misses with the head strike.
Crap's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Cheese swings wildly with an uppercut but Crap uses good head movement to avoid it.
Crap tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Crap misses with the head strike.
Crap scores with a nice hook to the head.
A short right from Cheese on the inside.
Cheese lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Crap backwards.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Crap throws a punch but it's blocked by Cheese.
Cheese tries to work over Crap's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Cheese lands a shoulder strike.
Cheese lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Crap lands a left hand.
Cheese can't find room to land a body shot as Crap controls the action.
A head punch on the inside from Crap fails to land.
Cheese throws a head punch that misses.

Cheese breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Cheese throws a shot to the body.
Cheese tries to land a front kick but Crap steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Crap drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Cheese throws out a loose jab but Crap uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Crap checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Cheese misses with a low kick.
The fighters circling - Cheese throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Crap feinted with a counter takedown.
Cheese looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Crap tries to counter with a takedown but Cheese is quick to defend against it.
Crap takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Cheese looks to throw the jab but Crap is out of range.
Crap attempts a counter takedown but Cheese avoids it well and moves away.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Gouda Cheese showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Cheese is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Crap.
Crap drops down looking for a counter takedown but Cheese sprawls and moves away.
Cheese throws a right and a left that both miss.
Crap appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Cheese throws out a loose jab but Crap uses good head movement to avoid it.
Carl Crap is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Crap keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Cheese.
Crap uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Cheese.
Crap feinted with a counter takedown.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A big left from Cheese misses.
Crap uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Cheese.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cheese scores with a jab to the body.
Crap moves out of range of the body kick.
Crap drops down looking for a counter takedown but Cheese sprawls and moves away.
Crap uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Cheese.
Cheese thows a leg kick but Crap checks it

and Crap counters with a nice double leg into side control. Cheese won't be happy with that.
An elbow from Crap crashes against the mat.
The strikes coming from Crap are missing the target in this wave of attacks.
The ground and pound from Crap seems to be hitting the mat more than his opponent.
The strikes coming from Crap are missing the target in this wave of attacks.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Crap lands a nice forearm strike.
Crap misses with the ground and pound.
Crap works a knee to the body and follows up with a nice elbow to the head.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Crap misses with a strike but at least he's keeping busy, looking to cause some damage - that will still help him when it comes to the judges scorecards.
Cheese parries the strikes from Crap easily there. Crap is wary of posturing up too much because it might enable Cheese to escape.
Crap with the ground and pound but Cheese regains half guard under the barage of strikes.
Crap throwing shots but Cheese is blocking nicely.
Crap looks to land a strike but Cheese avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
Crap trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Crap throws a strike but Cheese rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.

Crap is striking from the bottom but Cheese uses the opportunity to pass into half guard.
Cheese trying to control the pace.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Crap tries to strike from the bottom but it doesn't land.
Crap is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Crap misses with some strikes from the bottom.
Cheese performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Crap punching from the bottom.
Crap tries to roll over but Cheese keeps him under control.
Crap misses with some strikes from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Crap throws a strike from the bottom but Cheese passes into side control!
Cheese trying to control the action but Crap is working from the bottom.
Cheese controlling from side mount.
Crap throws a couple of punches but he's in a bad position and they don't land.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Crap throws an elbow to the body but it doesn't land.
Crap is trying to get back to half guard.
Crap tries to strike but it doesn't land.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Gouda Cheese.
I think Cheese has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Dean scores the fight 29:28
Judge Skip Squint scores the fight 29:29
Judge John Mangel scores the fight 28:29

The fight is ruled a draw!