PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Oompa Loompa (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Dumbass McWeakhands could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Oompa Loompa's chin.

McWeakhands
vs
Loompa

168 cm
39
158 lbs
40 - 16 - 1

153 cm
27
146 lbs
21 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Bad Man Clothing
Milwaukee's Best Nutrition

Tormented Nutrition
Conviction

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the featherweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 40 - 16 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 21 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Oompa Loompa!
The judges for this bout are Chris Edwards, Paul Tew and Sam Margolis.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Loompa takes a head kick and keeps coming.
McWeakhands takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Oompa Loompa seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Loompa lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and McWeakhands has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from McWeakhands and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
McWeakhands just misses with a punch to the body.

Loompa closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into McWeakhands's guard.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Loompa tries to free his leg and advance position but McWeakhands is retaining full guard.
Loompa postures up in McWeakhands's guard and throws a big left but McWeakhands blocks it.
Loompa in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
McWeakhands is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Loompa is controlling him.
Loompa wants to control from the top but McWeakhands keeps moving.
McWeakhands wants to stand but Loompa is controlling the position.
McWeakhands is looking to stand back up... there's a bit of a scramble and Loompa dives into side control.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Loompa grinds an elbow into McWeakhands's temple.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands tries to escape but Loompa is in control.
Loompa remains in side control and seems content to stay there. It's a versatile position from which he can work both strikes and submissions, whilst maintaining that control, so maybe he'll sit here for a while.
McWeakhands is not content to let Loompa control the position.
Loompa fails to land a wild elbow strike.
McWeakhands pushes Loompa away and creates a bit of space to escape. He's almost out here... but no, Loompa gets a good hold of his legs and remains firmly in side control.
McWeakhands parries the strikes from Loompa easily there. Loompa is wary of posturing up too much because it might enable McWeakhands to escape.
McWeakhands tries to escape but Loompa is in control.
Loompa is looking to take a break and control but McWeakhands is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
McWeakhands wants to get back to his feet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Loompa looking to punish the body of his opponent here but McWeakhands is avoiding damage well.
McWeakhands wants to get back to his feet but Loompa drags him back down.
Loompa working the ground and pound but he's contacting the mat, not the fighter.
Loompa prevents McWeakhands from escaping the position.
Loompa working the ground and pound.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
McWeakhands on the wrong end of some ground and pound.
Loompa has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Loompa tries to move to mount but McWeakhands blocks the move with his legs.
McWeakhands wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!
McWeakhands trying desperately to get back to his feet here but he's not having any joy at all. He's going to tire himself out if he's not careful.
A lull in the action here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands is trying to escape and get back to his feet.
Loompa scores with a couple of nice shots to the head there. The referee takes a look at McWeakhands to see if he's OK.
McWeakhands is looking to work his way out of this bad position but Loompa is controlling him well.
Loompa takes a little break here. McWeakhands wants to take advantage but he is being controlled well.
McWeakhands is looking to work his way out of this bad position but Loompa is controlling him well.
Loompa works a knee to the body and follows up with a nice elbow to the head.
Loompa prevents McWeakhands from escaping the position.
Loompa is moving around in side control but his primary objective seems to be to maintain the position.
Loompa's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Loompa is chipping away with strikes.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
McWeakhands is trying to get back to his feet.

Loompa is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. McWeakhands knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.
McWeakhands wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!
Loompa wants to control but McWeakhands is keeping him busy.
McWeakhands wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

Loompa looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.
Loompa prevents McWeakhands from escaping the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Oompa Loompa dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

McWeakhands takes one to the chin there.
McWeakhands throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
McWeakhands throws a looping overhand right but Loompa ducks down to avoid it.
McWeakhands walks into a stiff left hand from Loompa.
Loompa misses with a takedown attempt - McWeakhands sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
McWeakhands swinging wildly here.
Loompa shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with McWeakhands but McWeakhands pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Loompa checks a leg kick.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick but Loompa moved away.
The fighters circling - McWeakhands throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands thows a body shot but no joy.
McWeakhands avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
McWeakhands misses with a hook. Loompa ducked under it nicely.
McWeakhands thows a body shot but no joy.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Loompa.
Loompa changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. McWeakhands tries to avoid it but Loompa manages to keep hold of a leg and drag McWeakhands to the ground. McWeakhands escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Dumbass McWeakhands has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Oompa Loompa.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Loompa. McWeakhands shrugs it off though.
Loompa throws the left hand but McWeakhands avoids the punch easily.
Dumbass McWeakhands is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Loompa throws a jab when McWeakhands was well out of range.
Loompa lands a leg kick that knocks McWeakhands off balance momentarily.
Loompa tries a head kick but it misses.
McWeakhands misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Loompa.
That kick from Loompa tenderised McWeakhands's leg. McWeakhands is trying to keep his angry face on.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
McWeakhands connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
McWeakhands misses with a double jab.
McWeakhands on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
McWeakhands pulls out of a head kick attempt.
McWeakhands checks a leg kick.
McWeakhands scores with a nice right hand.

Loompa scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.
McWeakhands wants to get back to his feet.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Loompa working McWeakhands over with strikes.
McWeakhands is trying to escape back to his feet but Loompa uses the scramble to pass into side control.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands is pushing Loompa's head away, looking to escape. Loompa manages to hold on to the position though.
Loompa working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
McWeakhands wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Loompa creates a bit of distance and throws down some hard shots.
Loompa trying to control the action but McWeakhands is working from the bottom.
McWeakhands is trying to get back to his feet.
Loompa controlling the position from side mount.
Loompa is looking to take a break and control but McWeakhands is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Loompa tries to advance to mount but McWeakhands denies him.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Loompa trying to control the position but McWeakhands is working away.
Loompa lands a decent elbow from side control.

Loompa tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
McWeakhands is trying to buck Loompa off.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Loompa grinds an elbow into McWeakhands's temple.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
McWeakhands is trying to escape and get back to his feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Oompa Loompa showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Loompa feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to McWeakhands's calf.
McWeakhands chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Loompa can pounce on him.

Loompa drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.
Loompa trying to control the position from guard on top but McWeakhands is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
McWeakhands is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Loompa is controlling him.
Loompa in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
McWeakhands is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Loompa is controlling him.
Loompa stands and throws McWeakhands's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Loompa tries to move to mount but McWeakhands blocks the move with his legs.
Loompa is looking to take a break and control but McWeakhands is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Loompa connects with a decent looking elbow from side control that caused McWeakhands some visible discomfort.
McWeakhands wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!
Loompa connects with a decent looking elbow from side control that caused McWeakhands some visible discomfort.
Loompa controls the position from side control.
Loompa is looking to take a break and control but McWeakhands is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
McWeakhands is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Loompa has just dragged him back down to the mat.
Loompa wants to lay and pray for a moment but McWeakhands keeps working.
McWeakhands is working hard to escape and get back to his feet. After a battle for position, Loompa asserts his dominance and retains side control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Loompa working the ground and pound.
McWeakhands is pushing Loompa's head away, looking to escape. Loompa manages to hold on to the position though.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Loompa trying to control the position but McWeakhands is working away.
McWeakhands is pushing Loompa's head away, looking to escape. Loompa manages to hold on to the position though.
McWeakhands stops Loompa from passing to mount.
A lull in the action here as Loompa stalls from top position.
Loompa wants to lay and pray for a moment but McWeakhands keeps working.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Loompa has just dragged him back down to the mat.
Loompa taking a breather here.
McWeakhands wants to get back to his feet.
Loompa trying to control the position but McWeakhands is working away.
McWeakhands takes an elbow right on the bridge of the nose and winces in pain.
Loompa looking to punish the body of his opponent here but McWeakhands is avoiding damage well.
An elbow from Loompa crashes against the mat.
Loompa wants to lay and pray for a moment but McWeakhands keeps working.
Loompa lands an elbow.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands is not content to let Loompa control the position.
McWeakhands is pushing Loompa's head away, looking to escape. Loompa manages to hold on to the position though.
Oompa Loompa has got the better of the ground game so far.
Loompa just content to control the position.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!

Loompa is trying to get an arm triangle but McWeakhands is defending well.
McWeakhands is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Loompa has just dragged him back down to the mat.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
McWeakhands takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
McWeakhands is looking to work his way out of this bad position but Loompa is controlling him well.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Oompa Loompa really dominated that round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Loompa comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Loompa lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
McWeakhands takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Loompa throws a wild body kick that McWeakhands sees coming a mile off.
Loompa lands with a nice body punch.
McWeakhands on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Loompa takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Loompa moves away from the strike by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands is looking to clinch but Loompa is avoiding it.
Loompa throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Loompa misses with a takedown attempt - McWeakhands sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Loompa.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A bone on bone clash there as McWeakhands blocks the leg kick.
McWeakhands wants to clinch.

McWeakhands closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Loompa blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
McWeakhands tries to work over Loompa's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
McWeakhands working aggressively here.
McWeakhands is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables Loompa to keep the fight standing.
Loompa can't find room to land a body shot as McWeakhands controls the action.
McWeakhands blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
McWeakhands has been working on his balance at Placeholder name, so perhaps that has help him stuff some of the takedown attempts by Loompa.
McWeakhands is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Loompa is keeping busy.
Loompa lands a shot to the body.
It's got to the stage where if one of these guys blows hard enough, the other might fall over.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands throws a head punch that misses.
Loompa doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
McWeakhands working aggressively here.
Loompa lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
McWeakhands works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
McWeakhands misses with a hook from the clinch.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Loompa lands an uppercut.
McWeakhands misses with a punch on the inside.
Loompa tries for a takedown. No joy.
McWeakhands misses with a short punch on the inside.
McWeakhands lands on the inside with an uppercut.
McWeakhands tries to work over Loompa's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Loompa scores with a shoulder strike.
A head punch on the inside from McWeakhands fails to land.
Loompa lands a left hand.
Loompa blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
McWeakhands lands a right hand that snaps the head of Loompa backwards.
McWeakhands misses with a hook to the ribs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Loompa gets control of McWeakhands's arms and successfully pulls guard. Loompa will no doubt be looking for submissions off his back.
McWeakhands wants to get up but he can't break Loompa's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Loompa is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Loompa has a closed guard, preventing McWeakhands from standing up.
McWeakhands wants to stand and escape but instead Loompa has hit a sweep and he's now on top in guard.
McWeakhands being controlled here, momentarily.
Loompa forces his way into half guard.
McWeakhands is trying to stand back up but Loompa is controlling him

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands pushes Loompa off but Loompa dives into side control.
Loompa just content to control the position.
McWeakhands takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
Loompa working the ground and pound.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Loompa wants to control but McWeakhands is keeping him busy.
McWeakhands wants to get back to his feet.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Loompa in side control, throwing shots but McWeakhands defends.
McWeakhands wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Oompa Loompa dominated that fourth round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

McWeakhands chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Loompa can pounce on him.
McWeakhands takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Loompa lunges at McWeakhands with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by McWeakhands's hand.
McWeakhands dips down and scores with a jab to the body.

McWeakhands closes the distance and clinches.
McWeakhands blocks a punch to the side of the head.
McWeakhands gets underhooks to prevent Loompa's takedown attempt.
McWeakhands makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
McWeakhands misses with a hook to the ribs.
Loompa lands a hook to the side of the head.
Loompa working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Loompa blocks an uppercut.
McWeakhands throws a punch but it's blocked by Loompa.
Loompa scores with a shoulder strike.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Loompa struggles to land a body shot inside as McWeakhands controls his hands.
Loompa lands with a short shot to the head.
Loompa blocks an uppercut.
McWeakhands fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Oompa Loompa seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
McWeakhands misses with a short punch on the inside.
A short right hand to the side of the head by McWeakhands.
Loompa managing to block the knees to the body from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands gets underhooks to prevent Loompa's takedown attempt.
Loompa tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
McWeakhands tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Loompa lands with a short shot to the head.
Loompa is trying to drag McWeakhands to the mat but McWeakhands just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
Dumbass McWeakhands has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Oompa Loompa.
A short right from McWeakhands on the inside.
Loompa scores with an uppercut up the middle.
McWeakhands working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
McWeakhands lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Loompa backwards.
McWeakhands fails to pull the fight into his guard.
A short right from McWeakhands on the inside.
McWeakhands blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Loompa.
Loompa misses with a punch on the inside.
A shot in the inside from McWeakhands.
Loompa misses with a punch to the body.
Loompa misses with a hook to the ribs.
Loompa lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
McWeakhands doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
McWeakhands tries to throw a body punch but Loompa avoids it by throwing McWeakhands back against the cage.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Loompa.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Loompa creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
McWeakhands misses with a hook to the ribs.
McWeakhands tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Loompa smiles and moves away.
Loompa scores with a leg kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Loompa throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Loompa connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Dumbass McWeakhands has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Both of our modern day gladiators look out of it here - a gruelling 5 rounds of action taking it's toll on them, no doubt.
McWeakhands takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
McWeakhands swings for the body but Loompa moves out of range.
Loompa fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Loompa jabs McWeakhands to the body, keeping him at a distance.
A punch lands to the side of McWeakhands 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Loompa staying out of range there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands avoids the body shot from Loompa.
Loompa throws a sloppy head kick and McWeakhands moves out of range easily.
McWeakhands tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Loompa paws at him with a jab and circles away.
A nice leg kick lands there from Loompa.
McWeakhands thumps Loompa with a low kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Loompa fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt McWeakhands.
Oompa Loompa is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Loompa keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from McWeakhands.
Loompa scores with a jab to the head.
Loompa goes for a double leg but McWeakhands avoids the attempt and the two fighters end up clinched against the cage as McWeakhands continues to drive forward.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWeakhands lands a left hand.
McWeakhands working aggressively here.
McWeakhands swings wildly with an uppercut but Loompa uses good head movement to avoid it.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Oompa Loompa.
I've got Loompa winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 45:50
Judge Paul Tew scores the fight 45:50
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 45:50

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Oompa Loompa! Oompa Loompa retains his featherweight title!
Oompa Loompa seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.